Another Santa vent...

[Dandelionkid]

I just wanted to vent and see if anyone else thinks this is CRAZY!!!! I have a friend whose dd is good friends with my dd. I was talking to her on the phone and she said we can't see them till January...BECAUSE MY DD MIGHT TELL HERS THAT SANTA ISN"T REAL!!!!!! My dd enjoys pretending that Santa is real although she does ask and is told that "no he isn't real, but it is fun to pretend right?" It's not like we are on a mission to tell every unbelieving kid that Santa isn't real. In fact, if my friend wasn't around and the topic came up I would definitly change the topic in order to help keep her dd "believing".

I just have to agree to disagree but this just really irks me. I mean, we believe in Jesus and I don't keep my dd from every child that *might* tell mine that Jesus isn't real etc. It just seems so ridiculous to me. Can you tell I feel a little defensive? I will let it go now...

[MrsAprilMay]

It's sad that this mama would deny her DD the chance to play with yours just because of this.

Last year one of DH's nieces told her whole preschool class that Santa wasn't real. SIL got a call from the school on that one.

But there are so many places where a child could hear that. I think she's going a little too far.

[AllisonR]

I respect that you think your friend is really going over the top here. However, I also respect your friend for doing what she thinks is best for her DD. We are talking about 2 or 3 weeks here, not forever. And she told you why, and I assume in a respectful way, because you say you chose to agree to disagree.

Santa was a really big deal to me growing up. I had a huge imagination and it was all so magical and fun. I would have been really crushed if someone told me otherwise. Actually I was, and I was 8, way past time to be believing, but I so wanted this fantasy.

Luckily, we do not live in an obscenely commercialized place now, so DS and DD are exposed to Santa, but not to a crazy extent. And I do not encourage it like my own parents did. I don't embellish or introduce any of the tales around santa, and I tend to ask more open ended questions like "what do you think?" But if my DS and Dd WANT to believe, then I am not going to ruin the fantasy for them.

I allow my kids to play with their friends, and do not know whether they believe in Santa or not. But if a friend said to me "hey, lets keep it low key and wait til next year because your DS/DD knows the truth, and my DS/DD is really into the santa thing this year", well, then I'd thank her for the honest discussion and say "OK, I'll see you in January then."

I'd respect your friend on this one, and abide by her wishes.

[baltic_ballet]

Originally Posted by AllisonR

I respect that you think your friend is really going over the top here. However, I also respect your friend for doing what she thinks is best for her DD. We are talking about 2 or 3 weeks here, not forever. And she told you why, and I assume in a respectful way, because you say you chose to agree to disagree.

Santa was a really big deal to me growing up. I had a huge imagination and it was all so magical and fun. I would have been really crushed if someone told me otherwise. Actually I was, and I was 8, way past time to be believing, but I so wanted this fantasy.

Luckily, we do not live in an obscenely commercialized place now, so DS and DD are exposed to Santa, but not to a crazy extent. And I do not encourage it like my own parents did. I don't embellish or introduce any of the tales around santa, and I tend to ask more open ended questions like "what do you think?" But if my DS and Dd WANT to believe, then I am not going to ruin the fantasy for them.

I allow my kids to play with their friends, and do not know whether they believe in Santa or not. But if a friend said to me "hey, lets keep it low key and wait til next year because your DS/DD knows the truth, and my DS/DD is really into the santa thing this year", well, then I'd thank her for the honest discussion and say "OK, I'll see you in January then."

I'd respect your friend on this one, and abide by her wishes.

: I agree

[Joyster]

Christmas is in 13 days, it's not a really big deal IMO. It might be a little silly, but I'd probably just brush it off. Every mom friend has her quirks and you've got to take the good with the bad. My guy isn't seeing a lot of his friends til after Christmas, largely because we're just too darned busy.

[phoolove]

silly, but not a big deal

I feel like after reading all the santa threads (and having inadvertently spelled santa as "satan" too many times to count), I think it's fine that the believer's mom is doing this, because it's only a little while.

Does your friend read this board? People's feelings about santa are STRONG!

Extreme? maybe so, but is it a deal breaker for your friendship?

[aprildawn]

We don't do Santa either. We pretend Santa is real, but my girls know he isn't really real. I'd be hurt if someone wouldn't play with us because of this. Suddenly I'm a pariah because my girls know the truth about Santa? Like someone else said, there are plenty of ways this kid could find out. The possible consequence of letting your kids believe Santa is real is that they could be upset when they find out it's not true. Or is it that she wants to use the Santa thing as a means for her kids to behave during the Christmas season? I've heard parents use the thing where "Santa won't bring you presents if you don't (fill in the blank here)."

Sigh...I love the idea of Santa, and part of me wishes he was real, but now that I have kids of the "Santa" age, I just wish Santa would go away.

[CarrieMF]

wow, is she planning on homeschooling? If not then what is doing to do keep her kid out of school for 6 weeks JIC another kid tells her?

At that age usually if a kid tells another that Santa doens't exist the kid who believes doesn't believe the other child anyhow & tells them he does.

In Grade 3 yesterday one of the kids asked me if Santa was real, so i turned it around & asked him if he thought Santa was real. I got 15 out of 18/19 kids raising thier hands saying that they thought Santa was real.lol

[*~Danielle~*]

I think it is our job as parents to protect our children but I think your friend is going overboard. Atleast she is honest with you.

I'm a freak about colds though, and if any of my friend's kids have colds, then they have to stay away from us till they are free of it...I guess it is similar.

Whatever....try not to get too aggitated by it. I agree with you, a bit off her rocker...but not the end of the world either.

[aprildawn]

Originally Posted by *~Danielle~*

I'm a freak about colds though, and if any of my friend's kids have colds, then they have to stay away from us till they are free of it...I guess it is similar.

True! I freak out about vomit...or the possibility of vomit. Because, as opposed to Santa, vomit is very, very real and very, very evil.

[One_Girl]

I think that is a bit extreme and I do encourage my dd to believe in Santa. But in a way I can see where she is coming from because I shelter dd from the Christian kids we know around Easter time so she doesn't have to hear gory stories and I step in to change the subject if it comes up at any other time of year.

[tjjazzy]

i know how you feel. i don't want to do the santa thing but DH doesn't want our son to be "that kid." also, ppl keep asking him about Christmas and santa and i don't want him ruining it for his cousins, so we're keeping it low key. i'm telling him santa is a nice man who gives presents to kids. he will get ONE small present from santa. i want nothing more to do with it. i'm not sure why ppl are so attached to it but i'm not going to wreck it for everyone else.

[emamum]

in the uk a supply teacher got into trouble and now that school wont hire her again because she told a class full of 7 year olds that santas not real !

[2bluefish]

I really think people underestimate children. Or maybe my kid is just exceptional A lady was going on about Santa with dd the other day in a resturant, and she just played along all energetic. We're Jewish, and when we walked out of the resturant, I asked her "do you even know who Santa is?" "No." I grew up Christian, and when I learned the truth, I still played along for years. Why ruin the fun? My kids are totally cool with being told Santa is the man who gives toys to kids who celebrate Christmas, and we celebrate Hannukah, so we get to celebrate for 8 days. I wouldn't end a friendship over it, but I would be offended and think my friend is a flake.

[Dandelionkid]

Originally Posted by 2bluefish

I really think people underestimate children. Or maybe my kid is just exceptional A lady was going on about Santa with dd the other day in a resturant, and she just played along all energetic. We're Jewish, and when we walked out of the resturant, I asked her "do you even know who Santa is?" "No." I grew up Christian, and when I learned the truth, I still played along for years. Why ruin the fun? My kids are totally cool with being told Santa is the man who gives toys to kids who celebrate Christmas, and we celebrate Hannukah, so we get to celebrate for 8 days. I wouldn't end a friendship over it, but I would be offended and think my friend is a flake.

Yes, I think kids are underestimated too! If they coudn't handle different opinions and beliefs we would have to raise them all in like-minded little bubbles of "bliss". This friend was devastated when she was 8 and found out from someone that Santa wasn't real so that is a huge reason she is trying to protect her child. I just feel that a big part of her devastation was having been told to believe in Santa for so long and so thorougly that the fall was bound to be pretty big.

silly, but not a big deal

I feel like after reading all the santa threads (and having inadvertently spelled santa as "satan" too many times to count), I think it's fine that the believer's mom is doing this, because it's only a little while.

Does your friend read this board? People's feelings about santa are STRONG!

Extreme? maybe so, but is it a deal breaker for your friendship?

She doesn't read this board (as mainstream as they get ) and I do think she is flaky over this but she has also told me many times how flaky I AM so I suppose we are equal. I feel that a huge part of Christmas is celebrating love between family and friends so it seems so wrong to me to put Santa before friendship (these two girls are little bosom buddies) but I suppose it is only a few weeks. Not a deal-breaker- knew from the beginning how different we are.

Thanks for all the responses- I still haven't learned how to multiple quote.

[AllisonR]

Originally Posted by Dandelionkid

Thanks for all the responses- I still haven't learned how to multiple quote.

You click on the quote+ button. It is right next to the regular quote button.

Glad you chilled out about your friend a bit. Everyone has things they are flakey about, or quirky about, or are their pressure buttons or whatever. If we were all so similar and in agreement about everything, the world would be like dry toast.