Givings something of ds' vs. buying something for charity gift? Need opinions - Page 2

[LynnS6]

Originally Posted by lab

I unfortunately had to withdraw my name from the Christmas Bureau because at $320. - I didn't have enough money to provide Christmas gifts for a family of 4.

I honestly did not realize that I was required to purchase their entire Christmas and dinner. I stupidly assumed that I was supplementing or simply giving a gift. I really ended up feeling kinda stupid!

Wow, I'd say that's the fault of the Christmas Bureau, as that's some serious cash! They should be upfront about this being something that a group of people should take on as it costs $X to do.

One of the families in our neighborhood coordinates a NEIGHBORHOOD sponsorship for a family through St. Vincent De Paul, and it might come close to that. Each person in the family gets about a $25-30 present (parents usually ask for shoes/clothing), and then there's a food basket that we're responsible for too, and that runs $150-$200. But $320 would certainly do for a whole family of 4, INCLUDING Christmas dinner.

[amma_mama]

Frankly, it is this kind of debate that has turned me off of this type of charitable gift-giving. I think that society has trumped up expectations so much that unless we can afford to go "all out" (which we do not even do for our own family) then it would not be appreciated by the charity organizers and gives the impression that it would not be appreciated by the recipients.

My own DD, granted she is only 4 so is not so discerning about the details, is so happy to receive anything, and I mean ANYTHING. The joy in her eyes when she opens a gift, old or new, is priceless. It saddens me to know that we have made both recipients and gift-givers feel that if it is not expensive or with tags, then it is not worthy as a gift.

I will give what I can afford to give. If it is not desired by the family, then I would hope that they would accept it in the spirit it was given and/or pass it on to somebody else that could use it, new or used. I have given to toy drives in the past, as well as other gift drives. I gave new items when I could or used items if I felt that another child would enjoy them. When gift-giving becomes such a conflicted affair for everybody involved, then I find it better to bow out altogether and do my gift-giving/donations at another time of year when expectations are, well, not so over-the-top.

[bebebradford]

Originally Posted by amma_mama

Frankly, it is this kind of debate that has turned me off of this type of charitable gift-giving. I think that society has trumped up expectations so much that unless we can afford to go "all out" (which we do not even do for our own family) then it would not be appreciated by the charity organizers and gives the impression that it would not be appreciated by the recipients.

My own DD, granted she is only 4 so is not so discerning about the details, is so happy to receive anything, and I mean ANYTHING. The joy in her eyes when she opens a gift, old or new, is priceless. It saddens me to know that we have made both recipients and gift-givers feel that if it is not expensive or with tags, then it is not worthy as a gift.

I will give what I can afford to give. If it is not desired by the family, then I would hope that they would accept it in the spirit it was given and/or pass it on to somebody else that could use it, new or used. I have given to toy drives in the past, as well as other gift drives. I gave new items when I could or used items if I felt that another child would enjoy them. When gift-giving becomes such a conflicted affair for everybody involved, then I find it better to bow out altogether and do my gift-giving/donations at another time of year when expectations are, well, not so over-the-top.

I could not agree more with you! It's sad that it's come to this in society really!

[lindberg99]

Originally Posted by amma_mama

I will give what I can afford to give.

I need to keep telling myself this. Our church "adopted" a Head Start preschool class. My family was buying gifts for 2 boys who were 2 and 3 yo. I got them each a toy and a hat/mitten set (my 4 yo is always losing his hats and mittens!). I took it into church and some other people had gotten literally a garbage bag full of presents for their child. I felt kind of bad to think about our kids only getting one package to open. But you know, I spent what I felt was right and I can't do any more than that.

[octobermom]

Originally Posted by lindberg99

I need to keep telling myself this. Our church "adopted" a Head Start preschool class. My family was buying gifts for 2 boys who were 2 and 3 yo. I got them each a toy and a hat/mitten set (my 4 yo is always losing his hats and mittens!). I took it into church and some other people had gotten literally a garbage bag full of presents for their child. I felt kind of bad to think about our kids only getting one package to open. But you know, I spent what I felt was right and I can't do any more than that.

YES! While I know and stand by what I said earlier about giving new gifts if given the chance I'll also say give your blessings if that means a bag of donated clothes some previously loved used toys ect then please do so they WILL be loved and appreciated by someone.

Deanna