Outraged! - Certainly I wasn't in the wrong?! - Page 2

[mamazee]

I don't think you can expect access to a bathroom at every store you go to. You kind of just have to plan, like when you have access and you aren't sure when you will again, ask your child to go potty then because it's available. That way things should be OK until the next time one becomes available. And if your child could still have an accident, then it's a good idea to bring extra clothes, in case that happens.

[earthmama369]

We've been in a similar situation at Once Upon A Child when dd was a toddler. I'm fine with someone telling me we can't use the bathroom for a toddler emergency because it's against policy -- it sucks, but it's their choice. But lying about it? That's not cool. And that's where it's their choice to run their business that way, and it's my choice not to bring my business to them any longer.

[mamazee]

Yeah, it wasn't right for her to lie about it, but I bet it was her job to clean the bathroom. In that case, if it's known to be a place where a bathroom is available, then it seems like you should be able to count on that. I know where every available bathroom in town is. LOL.

[TinkerBelle]

They have the right, at least where I live, to deny the bathroom to the public. Should they have mercy on a little kid? Yes.

[MusicianDad]

Originally Posted by alexsam

I agree- it stinks, but there are reasons (for the customer- not even the mess for employees). Often times in "non-public bathrooms" the store may place cleaning chemicals for storage and they may be dangerously accessable to anyone using the bathroom, full moping buckets with dirt or chemicals in them out in the open, they may not be safe for all people for other reasons (clutter, repairs or construction, etc.). There may be security concerns or unsecured merchandise on the way to the bathroom and that may be an insurance issue...

Like others said, as a mother- total sympathy and can understand being upset. As a person who believes sometimes rules like this are not just arbitrary, I think a public bathroom is what needed to happen. Sorry... It must have been really lousy .

My friend has run up against parents in the last place she worked because they didn't allow the public to use their washroom. But it was literally the only place they had to store cleaning supplies, tools, and a money safe. Sorry, but in that situation it's safe to make no exceptions even (especially?) for small children. She sympathized though, but the answer was still no.

[Ruthla]

Keep in mind that they often store stuff (cleaning supplies, extra stock, etc) in the "employees only" section of the store. There very well could be a tripping hazard in the back of the store.

Just because the toilet was relatively safe and accessable a few months ago does NOT automatically mean that it's safe and accessable right now. They might have moved more things into the area since your last visit to the store. And if there's no bathroom available for the public, then it's not a lie to say "there's no bathroom for you back here."

[Mama Mko]

We basically had this happen yesterday. We used the toilet at the court house before my sister's marriage ceremony, then we went back to the first floor, walked a block, crossed the street, and alexander said he had to pee again. I went into the building closest to us, some copying/fax shop, and they told me they didn't have public restrooms. I asked if they knew a place closeby and they said the courthouse.

We usually carry a travel potty with us but we were with my mom and I hadn't thought to stash it in her truck before we left. So we put him in the carseat and went to the closest fast food place instead. I understand why the people wouldn't let him use the toilet - the liability issues, etc - and I still wish they would make an exception.

He didn't have an accident, lucky for us. We got there in time.

[Ofwait]

Dependent upon policy the store had every right to turn you down. Did they do it very nicely? no, but it sounds like you got very rude as well.

Possibly management told them they could no longer allow it.

More stores than not do not have public restrooms here, I plan around it.

[tjjazzy]

Originally Posted by Juvysen

A FEW too many?? As in, this happened more than once? More than twice??? OMG!!!

yup. i worked in restaurants for years. ppl do disgusting things in bathrooms.

[Sierra]

I prefer to support those businesses that can put common sense before policies when and *if* appropriate. A small child who *really* needed to go? They were just lucky he didn't pee right there on the carpet while they persistently denied him access.

Common sense is that young children have to go when they have to go (and I say this as one of those moms who carries a plastic jar in the car just for pee emergencies...so yes, I am definitely planning ahead and know I can't expect bathroom access).

If I were working at the store, I'd much rather take the risk of cleaning pee off tile in the bathroom than the potential of having to get it out of the carpet. Not only were they in the wrong, they were taking a big chance.

I would write a letter to management as well. We really need to become more family friendly in western culture.

Oh, and by the way, my dad, who is a business consultant (and also just genius, though I don't agree with everything he says) had an interesting relevant blog post once called "rules schmules".

[MusicianDad]

Originally Posted by Sierra

I prefer to support those businesses that can put common sense before policies when and *if* appropriate. A small child who *really* needed to go? They were just lucky he didn't pee right there on the carpet while they persistently denied him access.

Common sense is that young children have to go when they have to go (and I say this as one of those moms who carries a plastic jar in the car just for pee emergencies...so yes, I am definitely planning ahead and know I can't expect bathroom access).

If I were working at the store, I'd much rather take the risk of cleaning pee off tile in the bathroom than the potential of having to get it out of the carpet. Not only were they in the wrong, they were taking a big chance.

If they had to move cleaning products, tools or something equally dangerous into or close to the bathroom then it's not just about cleaning up pee.

[Imogen]

Originally Posted by Sierra

I prefer to support those businesses that can put common sense before policies when and *if* appropriate. A small child who *really* needed to go? They were just lucky he didn't pee right there on the carpet while they persistently denied him access.

Common sense is that young children have to go when they have to go (and I say this as one of those moms who carries a plastic jar in the car just for pee emergencies...so yes, I am definitely planning ahead and know I can't expect bathroom access).

If I were working at the store, I'd much rather take the risk of cleaning pee off tile in the bathroom than the potential of having to get it out of the carpet. Not only were they in the wrong, they were taking a big chance.

I would write a letter to management as well. We really need to become more family friendly in western culture.

Oh, and by the way, my dad, who is a business consultant (and also just genius, though I don't agree with everything he says) had an interesting relevant blog post once called "rules schmules".

:

[KBinSATX]

How strange that they didn't let a little boy pee in their precious toilet...
I would write headquarters - just to get some closure because it would otherwise just keep bugging me...

[grniys]

I don't blame the business. Yeah, it sucks that your ds wasn't able to use the bathroom there, but there could be a large amount of reasons why.

I would imagine that if their bathroom isn't set up for public use and isn't up to public use codes they could get some hefty fines for allowing someone to use it. And what if your ds slipped and fell and had to go to the hospital? Would you have expected them to cover the bill? Well... if they weren't supposed to allow customers back there in the first place who knows if their insurance would cover it or not?

The employees were just doing their jobs.

If you are really upset about it I just wouldn't return to that store.

[Learning_Mum]

I think it sucks. I understand not letting the public use your toilet - I worked in retail too some of the people that used the toilet had very questionable hygiene. BUT I wouldn't think twice about letting a toddler / preschooler use it. I would probably say no to an older child, but little one *have to go NOW!* and it would be humiliating for the poor little thing to wet themselves in the store - not only that, but you probably would have got the stink eye for getting pee on the floor. DS1 gets embarrassed if he has an accident at home with just DH and I, I couldn't imagine his humiliation if it happened in public!

[amynbebes]

I thinks it's ridiculous that they wouldn't let him use the toilet. I understand wanting to keep general public from using their restroom but they most assuredly should have made an allowance for a little boy.

[baltic_ballet]

My daughter works in a shop and they don’t allow anyone in the back area where there is a toilet as their was many thefts of wallets and personal items as that’s where staff store their bags, it was left a mess and it’s also where they count money and store stock and cleaning supplies and its small and filled with boxes so it's hard for people to get past.

[siobhang]

I agree with pps

The company had ever right to refuse your request, but...

it is very common for companies to make exceptions for small children/pregnant women.

Who knows why this woman didn't. Perhaps she had been lectured by her boss about letting people back there. Perhaps she knew that the bathroom was filled with breakables they had no other space for. Perhaps she was just in a bad mood.

It is a very tough situation.

Btw, my mom had IBS, and when she had an attack (which would come completely unexpectedly) she had to use a bathroom RIGHT NOW. She quickly learned every store/location in town where she could use a bathroom. It was tough - she had a couple of accidents - and not pee accidents - because most stores will not let a 50 year old woman without kids use a bathroom.

Ironically, years later, when as a result of her cancer, she had to have a colostomy bag, she joked with us that "Now I will never need to beg a store owner to let me use their bathroom again! No more accidents for me!" (okay, rather dark, but I actually find this a positive memory of my mom during a pretty dark time).

[abeliamama]

I work in retail and we don't let the genral public use the restroom. It's where employess store wallets and purses and you have to pass the by the office where laptops and money are. We also store cleaning products, chemicals and objects that could cut someone. That said, we will let small kids or pregnant women use it. We figure a mom will closely watch her kid in a small bathroom. We do require that an employee stand in the back until the people come out. This can be very inconvenient if we are busy and the kid is taking a while to complete his/her business. And yes, honestly, I don't want to have to smell what smells people leave in there that waft out into the stock room and office while I work. The backroom is also where people have to eat lunch and that's not very appetizing.

This makes we worry that we could be liable if something happened with chemicals, etc.

[Breathless Wonder]

Originally Posted by StephandOwen

My son had an accident at 4 years old that involved a toilet, falling in, cutting the base of his penis (where it meets the body), ER visit, sedation, stitches and surgical glue. I have no doubt there are people in the world who would sue if that had happened in a public place (it didn't, it was at home).

Unfortunately, sometimes people don't choose to sue- their insurance company does.

But I still think exceptions should be made in case of emergency- for children and adults. Common sense says it's better to let people use the toilet than clean urine or diarrhea off the floor.