"Some people shouldn't have kids." - Page 4

[frontierpsych]

Originally Posted by mammal_mama

I thought I should throw that in there, because some people truly do seem clueless, and think that if you make some criticism of yourself, then that area is fair game for them to comment on --

I'm guilty of that sometimes, I think, because I don't personally find it insulting when people do that. I'm working on my empathy though, lol!
What I have a harder time with personally is when people make criticisms that I disagree with, or even stuff that I do agree with but hadn't noticed yet, though I tend to get over that pretty fast.

[AngelBee]

Originally Posted by cappuccinosmom

I don't like the phrase. It is often used as an insult. And it's a simplistic blanket statement that ignores a lot of other stuff.

My grandparents probably "shouldn't have had kids". And yet, somehow, two drunks who were miserable parents raised my mom. And I wouldn't be here without her. My dh's parents probably "shouldn't have had kids", as they were desperately poor to the point of starvation in Ethiopia. Yet here's my husband, for whom I'm so grateful.

Praise God!

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by frontierpsych

I'm guilty of that sometimes, I think, because I don't personally find it insulting when people do that. I'm working on my empathy though, lol!
What I have a harder time with personally is when people make criticisms that I disagree with, or even stuff that I do agree with but hadn't noticed yet, though I tend to get over that pretty fast.

I think that's a cool way to be. But it is a good idea to remember that most of us aren't getting there any time soon.

[KurumiSophia]

I haven't read any of the other replies but I have found that that phrase does ring true for some people. For example, my DH's friend has three children but will buy for his own wants before the needs of his children. It constantly makes me sad to see that two of the children still need glasses. The eldest is on the edge of a breakdown because he's had to watch his siblings constantly while mom and dad are at work or partying, the middle child is sensitive and has self-harm issues while constantly being told to "man up", and the youngest dresses far too sexually for her young age.

These are parents who don't screen movies, games, or anything. They've been exposed to all sorts of things from the time they were small and are screamed at constantly.

These are parents who should NOT have had children, yet there they are.

[Tracy]

Originally Posted by frontierpsych

Is this ALWAYS an insult, when you say it about someone? I've heard it a lot, but I don't think of it as an insult in and of itself, just in the way it's generally used, KWIM?

For instance, I'd say you shouldn't have kids if that obviously does not fit in your priorities, because you will always be striving for something else and start to see your kids as something that hinders your goals. Doesn't make you a bad person, just someone that shouldn't have kids. Stuff like that.


wow, no point, just a thought. I thought I had a point, but I guess I forgot it. Oh well.

I don't see how it can be insulting since I think a lot of people of which this would be said, probably already know it.