Years between children?

[AFWife]

I've been giving this thought lately. My mother only had two children (myself and my brother) and I was almost 3 when he was born. She said she wouldn't have had it any other way...that it was easier to raise a baby when I was older.

My husband and I have previously said that we only want 2-3 children...and that works fine if I wait 3 years in between each child. (I'll be 22 when this first is born...so 28 roughly when the 3rd is born) I don't know that I'd want to be pregnant into my 30's. My mother waited until she was 34 to have me and it was hard on all of us for my parents to be "older" growing up.

My question: What's the space between your children? Is it on purpose? Why?

[mamarhu]

Hee-hee! I love this question because it reminds me how little control we really have in life... I planned to have 2, close in age, preferably girl then boy...

My biological kids are 27, 13, & 12. My soon-to-be-adopted foster daughter is 8. And I am raising my grandchildren, ages 2 months and 22 months. Never planned this, but I can't imagine life any other way.::

[lolar2]

I read that, health-wise, 2-4 years is the best spacing.

[Drummer's Wife]

Mine are all 2 years apart (23-25 months between each). All planned and on purpose I love the age gap and we are now TTC, which even if it happens this month, would now make our biggest difference in spacing (30 months apart since my youngest is almost 21 months) if it takes a few more months than I may get to experience the 3 yr gap for the first time, which I imagine is a lot easier in many ways.

I like it because my kids are all close enough in age to play well together and I'm hoping that continues as they get older. Okay, so play well together doesn't necessarily mean they get along all the time but they have similar interests and definitely entertain one another. The one thing that was a bit hard was tandem nursing two at a time, for that reason alone I would say 3-4 yrs age difference would be easier on your body and ability to get sleep at night.

I am 29 now and probably will want to be done haing babies by the time I'm 35.

[Leisha]

My dd is now 3.5 months and I plan to wait a few years (probably 3-4) before my second child. (I have a IUD now; if I didn't want to wait at least a few years, I wouldn't have chosen that birth control method)

I have a brother who's 3.5 years older than me and I always liked that. So I guess that has influenced my decision maybe?

I know a friend who's very close in age to her brother and sister, and she loved it that way, so she'll probably want her kids closer together as well

[Patchfire]

Mine are 55 months and 44 months apart. They were deliberately planned that way. Despite the slightly harder time ds has had so far, I think I like 3 1/2 more than 4 1/2 years apart. I wouldn't want, for myself, to have my kids closer than about 3 years.

[Amylcd]

15 months between the first two, 3 1/2 years between 2 and 3.

[alegna]

Mine are just about 4yrs apart. I'd planned for 3... but had a m/c.

I think 3 is good. I wouldn't personally be comfortable TRYING to have them much closer than 2 as I think 2 full years of breastmilk is a birthright.

I have no qualms about having children later (I was almost 29 for my first and we plan at least 4) My parents were older and it was great.

-Angela

[beebalmmama]

My DS is 3.5 yrs now and we're about to start TTC at the first of the year.
I always heard 3 yrs spacing was good and my sister did that with all five of her children. However the closer DS got to 3, I was sooo happy we did not have another LO yet. He is just going through a tough period with establishing is independence and DH and I are exhausted. He seems to be heading out of it a bit though and we think he'll be ready for a sibling soon. He's asking for a baby now too, which I think is so sweet.

[Storm Bride]

I planned to have four children, fairly close (my idea was the first two separated by about 18 months, then about 2.5 years, then another 18 months between 3 and 4). I fully intended to be done by age 30 or 31 at the outside.

I had ds1 in 1993, at the age of 24...all on schedule. Then, I started ttc. To make a long story short, I had my second, dd, in 2003. DS1 was 10 years and 2 months old. I was 34. I had ds2 in 2005, at the age of 37. I had my precious angel baby Aaron in 2007 - he was stillborn. I was 39.

I'm currently pregnant with what I deeply hope will be my fourth living child. It's my 8th pregnancy all together (3 m/c in there, too). Unless my baby is premature, I'll be 41 when he/she arrives.

So...planning, schmanning. I'm trying to just take what I get, and appreciate the blessings I have.

[kirstenb]

Well, I only have one right now but there will be at least a three year difference between them (will start to TTC late summer 2009). I thought I always wanted my kids to be very close in age (15-20 months apart), but when it came time for me to think about getting pregnant again I was nowhere near ready.

[Chloe'sMama]

we just have the one right now and had planned on having the next when dd is 18 months, but are now reconsidering waiting longer, so i am interested to see the responses to this post.

[abharrington]

dd is 23 months and ds is 2 months. so far 21 months apart has been great (but what do we know!). i am curious as to when we will start to try for dc3 (although as we never TRIED for the first 2, i suspect it won't be up to us).

[Jojo F.]

It just wroked out that my children will be *almost* 6 years apart and I actually REALLY like this set up. DS is old enough to do things for himself & to help, and he really is very helpful I seriously could not imagine having a 3 year old AND a baby: *Maybe* a 4 year old but 5 is definitely a good age to become an older sibling.

I also agree with the "health wise" comment. A woman's body needs time to build up her nutritional stores to have another baby. Plus, she needs time to BF her children which in traditional times is around 4 years. In traditional tribes it is actually really frowned upon if the woman has children close together and the husband does not initiate any intimate contact because of this.

[amynbebes]

Some on purpose, some not

My first two are 15 months, 5 yrs between 2 and 3, 19 mths between 3 and 4and 5 yrs between 4 and 5.

There are honestly pros and cons to both age differences.

[Alyantavid]

Mine are 4 years and 3 months apart. We didn't really plan it that way, we wanted more like 3 years apart but we had some fertility issues so they ended up further apart. I do know I wouldn't be able to handle them closer together though.

My brother and I are 4 years apart and fought constantly. We're pretty close now that we're adults but that part does worry me. Hopefully my boys will get along a little better.

[AlpineMama]

10 months... DD decided she wanted to come as soon as she could in her brother's wake. I think it was fate because I don't think I would have had the courage to try for a second after how high needs DS was as a baby and continues to be. She turned out to be a gem of a surprise though! She's a wonderful addition (completion?) to our family.

[mamazee]

Originally Posted by AFWife

I've been giving this thought lately. My mother only had two children (myself and my brother) and I was almost 3 when he was born. She said she wouldn't have had it any other way...that it was easier to raise a baby when I was older.

My husband and I have previously said that we only want 2-3 children...and that works fine if I wait 3 years in between each child. (I'll be 22 when this first is born...so 28 roughly when the 3rd is born) I don't know that I'd want to be pregnant into my 30's. My mother waited until she was 34 to have me and it was hard on all of us for my parents to be "older" growing up.

My question: What's the space between your children? Is it on purpose? Why?

34 is old????? Ack!! LOL I'll be 41 this month and I'm expecting, and I don't feel "too old", nor am I outside of the age range of my daughter's friends and schoolmates and I was 34 or 35 when she was born.

Mine will be about 7 years apart and I love that. If you read through some of the forums here, you'll see a theme - it's hard to have a baby and a toddler. You basically have two babies. Personally, I would not have two children close together unless it happened by accident. I'm close in age to a sibling so I get the "playmate" idea, but you can't guarantee they'll be playmates instead of fighting all the time.

[Breeder]

DS1 is six and a half years old and DS2 is six months old. We had planned on having them 4 years apart but...getting pregnant the second time was not as easy as we had imagined. I personally wouldn't have kids with less than 3 years between them, two in diapers is something I would do on purpose. ( The people who "baby bunch" are in my opinion, the bravest soliders on the homefront!)

Me and my sister are five years apart and we are absolutely best friends now. :

[artgoddess]

Mine are a little more than 3.5 years apart, and I think this is working out great for us. DS is almost 5 and DD is 15 months. I was 33 when I had DS and 37 when I had DD. I don't feel as though I'm an "older" mom unless I read posts like the OP's.