or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Parenting Multiples › Did this drive anyone else crazy (the world not understanding MZ/DZ twinning)?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Did this drive anyone else crazy (the world not understanding MZ/DZ twinning)? - Page 2

post #21 of 35
At least they weren't paternal twins
post #22 of 35
It used to really bug me for some reason, but now I really don't care unless I'm feeling particularly persnickety or I'm PMSing. So I blame hormones. Yep.

Really, unless someone is a twin or has them, why SHOULD they care to know? I know a lot more down about genetics, TTTS, mosaic trisomies, the potential effects of high doses of IV antibiotics in newborns, ect. that frankly I ever wanted to.

But the article would annoy me more than some schmuck on the street. If you're a journalist, for cripe's sake, at least BOTHER to do a little research (even on google) and get some basic facts down.

If it was a doctor that told them even after the baby's born and the placenta's been examined and they STILL don't know if it was fused or shared or whatever, then...blah.
post #23 of 35
Quote:
Angie: just curious: why don't you like the word "spontaneous" in this context? It doesn't have a negative connotation, I don't think?
To me it sounds as if they were "accidents", "not planned", etc. Not that there is anything wrong with surprise babies, I've been pregnant twice with surprise babies, but lost both of them Just a pet peeve of mine really. I don't think the term itself is offensive when others use it, I just don't like to "label" my kids with that term is all.
post #24 of 35
Oh, okay, Angie. I was just curious. The reason spontaneous sounds right to me is that while having a baby was planned, presumably the twin part was spontaneous/a surprise. I also tend to like that phrase because the "natural" distinction-- while not inaccurate-- does tend to validate the ART-babies are "artificial" meme, about which I myself am somewhat defensive ;-)
post #25 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by angie7 View Post
I believe by the "natural occuring" was to state they were not using any fertility treatments. My twins were "naturally occuring" or "conceived naturally". I refuse to use the word spontanous when referring to my twins.
I understand how you're thinking, but it doesn't seem like you're taking into account the other side of it. If you make the distinction that your twins are "natural," then it means the opposite would be "unnatural" twins. And that's completely inaccurate and frankly offensive to many families.

My twins are also natural, we just had some help from fertility treatments to get the chance to conceive them.
post #26 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spring Lily View Post
I understand how you're thinking, but it doesn't seem like you're taking into account the other side of it. If you make the distinction that your twins are "natural," then it means the opposite would be "unnatural" twins. And that's completely inaccurate and frankly offensive to many families.

My twins are also natural, we just had some help from fertility treatments to get the chance to conceive them.
I never call my twins "natural", I say they were "conceived naturally".
post #27 of 35
I think you're missing the point. The problem is with the word "natural" being offensive to people who had to use any kind of medical intervention to have their babies.

It's kind of besides the point, but "conceived naturally" isn't the same as spontaneous twins. There are a lot of ways to medically boost fertility where conception still happens on its own in your body, like with ovulation medications and/or insemination. IVF is when conception happens outside of the body. I didn't do IVF, so doesn't that mean I can still say mine are "conceived naturally" even though I had medical assistance?
post #28 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spring Lily View Post
I think you're missing the point. The problem is with the word "natural" being offensive to people who had to use any kind of medical intervention to have their babies.

It's kind of besides the point, but "conceived naturally" isn't the same as spontaneous twins. There are a lot of ways to medically boost fertility where conception still happens on its own in your body, like with ovulation medications and/or insemination. IVF is when conception happens outside of the body. I didn't do IVF, so doesn't that mean I can still say mine are "conceived naturally" even though I had medical assistance?
The term "conceived natural" means that sex conceived a baby with no fertility help at all. I'm really not going to get into a pissing contest over this. I find the word spontaneous offensive when referring to my twins. If others chose to use this term with their twins, good for them, I do not wish to label my twins with it. That is my choice and my right to do so.
post #29 of 35
Agreed agreed. If you're going to publish something for crying out loud look it up. Google, it's a good thing, use it!

As for the old wives tales about twinning, I swear I feel like a HS science teacher whenever I'm out. I'm too nice to use any of my canned smart alec remarks so I end up giving the quick and dirty synopsis of how "identical" twins occur and why they don't run in families blah blah blah. I don't use spontanious (not offended by it though) but I just say they "just happen" no rhyme of reason that we know of but there are theories about BFIng at time of conception and conception after a miscarriage.

I keep waiting for someone to tell me something true that I DON'T know about twins, because everyone on the street seems to think they know more then the twin mama does .

OH and Mine are so identical, but people still think they're a boy and a girl... I've gotten into arguments over it. People are really ignorant sometimes :
post #30 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by angie7 View Post
The term "conceived natural" means that sex conceived a baby with no fertility help at all. I'm really not going to get into a pissing contest over this. I find the word spontaneous offensive when referring to my twins. If others chose to use this term with their twins, good for them, I do not wish to label my twins with it. That is my choice and my right to do so.
The term "spontaneous" means "happening without apparent external cause." It doesn't mean "accidental" or "unplanned" (as if anything would be wrong with that, either?) You are free to feel extra-natural because you didn't have any external cause to have twins, but all that does is make your twins "spontaneous."

And it's really disappointing to see someone continue to use the term "natural" in a way that has clearly been determined to be divisive on this forum. Go ahead and call your twins all-natural out there in the world, but when mamas here have already told you it makes them feel bad, why would you continue to argue that point?
post #31 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by OGirlieMama View Post
The term "spontaneous" means "happening without apparent external cause." It doesn't mean "accidental" or "unplanned" (as if anything would be wrong with that, either?) You are free to feel extra-natural because you didn't have any external cause to have twins, but all that does is make your twins "spontaneous."

And it's really disappointing to see someone continue to use the term "natural" in a way that has clearly been determined to be divisive on this forum. Go ahead and call your twins all-natural out there in the world, but when mamas here have already told you it makes them feel bad, why would you continue to argue that point?
And it makes me feel bad to label my kids with the term "spontaneous". When did my feelings go out the window here? Just b/c I didn't have any fertility problems means that I have no rights to the way I feel either?
post #32 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by DoomaYula View Post
I think most people who don't have twins haven't a CLUE.

Otherwise, why would those who have boy/girl twins get asked all the time, "Are they identical?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Quindin View Post
For real, people ask that??
My BFF has boy/girl twins who are now 18...they still get asked if they are idents...D looks down at her chest then looks at M's and says "I don't think so"
post #33 of 35
i've just been lurking this board until i have my u/s to determine if we've got one or two cooking in here, but this comment made me laugh/gape!

Quote:
Originally Posted by fyrebloom View Post
OH and Mine are so identical, but people still think they're a boy and a girl... I've gotten into arguments over it.
please tell me that you don't mean that people actually argue with you over whether you are sure of you children's genders?!?!
post #34 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by nerin View Post
i've just been lurking this board until i have my u/s to determine if we've got one or two cooking in here, but this comment made me laugh/gape!



please tell me that you don't mean that people actually argue with you over whether you are sure of you children's genders?!?!
I have fraternal boys and had a woman in the store ask my husband several times if one was a girl and if he was sure. Dh just kept repeating "Nope, two boys, Nope, two boys." Finally, she said "Well, he sure looks like a girl."
post #35 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by OGirlieMama View Post
And it's really disappointing to see someone continue to use the term "natural" in a way that has clearly been determined to be divisive on this forum. Go ahead and call your twins all-natural out there in the world, but when mamas here have already told you it makes them feel bad, why would you continue to argue that point?
Probably because she thinks she's right. I mean, I like "natural" better than "spontaneous" too. I think it's an accurate descriptor (and "artificial" just comes from the word "artifice" which basically means "human ingenuity", and how is that a bad description of fertility assistance?).

I guess I think that you should say, "I think 'spontaneous' is better" and she says, "I think 'natural' is more accurate" and you say, "I think you're wrong, but I can see I'm not going to change your mind" and she says, "I think you're wrong, but I can see I'm not going to change your mind" and then you can just both go on using your different words even though you disagree. I don't think anyone should be forced to use a word she feels isn't true just so someone's feelings don't get hurt. That's the tyranny of emotion.

(I mean, avoid bringing it up, yeah. That's sensitive. But when you're talking about the subject, and you have a definite opinion, why should anyone be forced to lie?)
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting Multiples
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Parenting Multiples › Did this drive anyone else crazy (the world not understanding MZ/DZ twinning)?