I'm a first time mom and ds is 17 months old. I don't have many friends with babies so I'm stuck spending time with one girlfriend who has a 20 mo/old ds with whom I've always had a complicated relationship. In some aspects we are very alike..natural foods, green living, holistic, but in other ways we are dramatically different and they ways in which we are raising our children are 180's from each other. It was fine when they were babies but now I think it is a strain.
My son has always been agreeable. Listens very well for a young child, helps, trys hard to please. I can very easily take him most places and he behaves well. Her son is the opposite. Very bossy and doesn't listen and just loves yelling no. Not surprising as his mom never even attempts to discipline and he calls all the shots. But when they play he'll snatch a toy from my son, or push him, or do things in my house that MY son isn't allowed to do. His mom says nothing, doesn't react and it makes me nuts. When he leaves my house it is as if a tidal wave went through and she never offers to help clean up the mess. And we're not taking normal toys on the floor messes..I"m talking about the bag of quinoa he popped open (despite me asking her not to let him play with it) that spilled on the floor and then he played IN the quinoa on the floor like a sandbox swishing it all over the floor and then they left shortly afterward.
Also, when we meet at the playground I've taught my son from day one that he has to ASK permission before playing with another child's toys and he's so good about leaving other's belonging alone unless offered or asked for. She is the opposite with her son. He digs through anyone's bags, pushes kids off their little bikes or trucks and takes off, plays with whatever he wants even though it's not his. Again, not the child's fault, it's the mom. BUT I don't want my son picking this behavior up and worse, it's confusing to him why his friend can play with all the stuff and he can't.
I don't know how to handle it with the exception of severing the ties completely. It's getting to be more hassle than it's worth. I spend time ith them and I feel so irritated the whole time. But it's the only little friend he has right now. I"m always so respectful of other's people's homes, belongings, and feelings that it bugs me when the courtesy isn't returned.
And this is just toddler stuff. What do I do when he gets older?
I guess my question is how do you as a parent handle these types of conflicts? I'm dreading the conflicts that I know will arise as he gets older. I hate confrontation but I know I have to get gutsy for the sake of my son. I just don't know how to do it. HOw do you all handle this stuff?
Thanks for letting me vent.
My son has always been agreeable. Listens very well for a young child, helps, trys hard to please. I can very easily take him most places and he behaves well. Her son is the opposite. Very bossy and doesn't listen and just loves yelling no. Not surprising as his mom never even attempts to discipline and he calls all the shots. But when they play he'll snatch a toy from my son, or push him, or do things in my house that MY son isn't allowed to do. His mom says nothing, doesn't react and it makes me nuts. When he leaves my house it is as if a tidal wave went through and she never offers to help clean up the mess. And we're not taking normal toys on the floor messes..I"m talking about the bag of quinoa he popped open (despite me asking her not to let him play with it) that spilled on the floor and then he played IN the quinoa on the floor like a sandbox swishing it all over the floor and then they left shortly afterward.
Also, when we meet at the playground I've taught my son from day one that he has to ASK permission before playing with another child's toys and he's so good about leaving other's belonging alone unless offered or asked for. She is the opposite with her son. He digs through anyone's bags, pushes kids off their little bikes or trucks and takes off, plays with whatever he wants even though it's not his. Again, not the child's fault, it's the mom. BUT I don't want my son picking this behavior up and worse, it's confusing to him why his friend can play with all the stuff and he can't.
I don't know how to handle it with the exception of severing the ties completely. It's getting to be more hassle than it's worth. I spend time ith them and I feel so irritated the whole time. But it's the only little friend he has right now. I"m always so respectful of other's people's homes, belongings, and feelings that it bugs me when the courtesy isn't returned.
And this is just toddler stuff. What do I do when he gets older?
I guess my question is how do you as a parent handle these types of conflicts? I'm dreading the conflicts that I know will arise as he gets older. I hate confrontation but I know I have to get gutsy for the sake of my son. I just don't know how to do it. HOw do you all handle this stuff?
Thanks for letting me vent.
