What to do for toddler tantrums? - Page 2

[Rivka5]

Originally Posted by mamazee

My opinion on tantrums is that they're just something to wait out. I know bystanders look and watch, but that's just an annoyance and not part of the problem. People have short-term memories about their own kids.

Originally Posted by alegna

Tantrums happen. You can try to prevent them or head them off, but sometimes they just happen. IME you resign yourself to being the mom with the wailing, flailing kid a few times...

I totally agree.

When you can prevent a tantrum, that's great. (Making sure the kid is well-rested and well-fed, avoiding known trouble spots especially at difficult times of the day, etc.) But it's a mistake to believe that you should be able to prevent and/or stop all tantrums. That'll just make you crazy.

Toddlers have tantrums. Preverbal sick toddlers have a LOT of tantrums. The best you can hope for is to ride them out in a way that, hopefully, preserves your sanity and doesn't make them worse. Sometimes all you can do is express your sympathy and your willingness to provide comfort, and then just wait.

[GuildJenn]

I'm so sorry you and your kid are sick.

First: don't ever make decisions about, or try to solve, your parenting based on extreme situations. It's extreme to have to go to the hospital (scary, taxing), be so sick, and then have to wait in the car. It was a terrible horrible no-good very bad day. I'm so sorry for it. *I* would have thrown a tantrum. At that point, it was unsalvageable. You didn't scream or hit or slam her fingers in the door accidentally. You win!

Second: I agree with everyone else - tantrums happen. Just 'cause you're not seeing them when you're out shopping doesn't mean other people aren't having them. As you've kind of said, some kids have them more than others and yours is on one end. It will pass though (as long as she's not actually rewarded for them, like your giving in and giving her the candy or whatever). It will be okay. You're a good mom!

[2xy]

Originally Posted by Amylcd

You are right, it does not make sense to be out in that situation if you do not need to be - so if someone states that they were out, and says that it was absolutely necessary - you should take their word that was necessary and leave it at that.

Sorry, but everyone has a different definition of "absolutely necessary." Go back and read your second post, where it sounds like it was "absolutely necessary" to give your daughter her way.

I responded to your original post in order to help, not to argue. You say you've been misunderstood on other occasions. Maybe giving complete information would help avoid these misunderstandings. Some people are more analytical than others.

Have a good day.

[Amylcd]

I'm not going to argue with you, I can tell by your posts in other threads that you seem to enjoy drama.

[IncaMama]

first of all, imo, anybody you've "met" on here who seem to have perfect kids are lying or in denial.

and re: tantrums - they're kids, tantrums will happen. some kids dig in longer than others. for some kids it has absolutely nothing to do with being "strong-willed" but being more easily overwhelmed than others. sure, avoid tantrums if it is reasonable to do so. but that's not a failsafe. they'll happen. and it sounds like there was nothing else you could have done in the situation you described. empathize with your child who is obviously distressed, express to them that you understand the strength of their emotion and that it must be scary to feel something so strongly, and wait it out.

i think you said in the OP that it wasn't this isolated incident you're talking about, but this was just sort of the icing on the cake sort of thing. and now for the life of me i can't remember how old your dd is...i think little, right? little ones (especially toddlers) are juuuuuust starting to figure things out. things are scary and confusing, no matter what. those emotions are breeding grounds for tantrums, and especially for the more easily overwhelmed kids can really only be met with compassion and patience. which sucks, frankly, but it is what it is.

i hope you're all feeling better - it is SO MISERABLE to deal with these things when you're barely surviving yourself. and i do wanna add that it is possible that she was feeding off of her awareness of that as well. mom being sick is scary - she may have been feeling even MORE out of sorts because she picked up on the fact that you were not yourself.

*hug*

[lolar2]

For that I'd just chalk it up to being sick and not worry about it.

[S.Lee]

Hugs! My 2.5 yo survived on dry cheerios and water he could get from the fridge dispenser for a day when I had food poinsoning. It was horrible, in between trips to the bathroom, I felt like such a horrible mom, tv was on all day. Luckily he didn't throw a fit(probably b/c tv was on), but he could have had about anything he wanted that day. Just surviving sometimes is all you can hope for, so no judgement here.
As far as tantrums on better mommy days, I usually agree with ds, not give in but we have been standing in a store, him hollering and flailing and I pick him up and say something like "this stinks, there is a toy(whatever) there and we can't play with it, man this just stinks, I don't like this, let's get out of here"(something like that) I have gotten really goofy looks, because I am almost as loud and sound just as pissed as ds does. But for us at around 2yo that approached usually worked.