Talk to me about tearing--what does it feel like? - Page 2

[Drewsmom]

With ds#1 I pushed with him for 3+ hours. I was so numb down there that I had no idea that I tore when he came out. The first push that he came down onto my perineum I did feel a little burning but he was crowning on and off for an hour so by the time that he actually came out I had no idea. I just remember the nurse typing in the notes and asking the Dr. if my tear would be classified as 3rd or 4th? That's when I said, "I tore?"

Then with ds#2 I had a very slight tear, 1st degree but other than the ring of fire (he came out in 30 min.s, much faster-was also posterior) I didn't notice and my recovery was phenomenal, so much easier.

With dd she came out in 3 pushes, I had a cyst in my vagina which they said I wouldn't feel (and I didn't) but it would make my pushing sensation much stronger which it DID. I tore again slightly, 1st degree, with her and I felt a ring of fire when she came out and that was a waterbirth but nothing unusual beyond that.

[laneysprout]

I had a 2nd degree perineal tear with DD which I didn't feel happen.

[stacyann21]

I didn't feel it at all until the next day. I actually thought I got away scott free LOL. The anesthetic my mw used to stitch me up was pretty strong. To be completely honest with you, the next several weeks of my life were excruciating. I spent a lot of time whimpering in a sitz bath and taking lots of Tylenol. Going to the bathroom was hell and I am terrified of tearing again next time. Sorry but that is the truth for me. I think one of the greatest injustices in life is that some women don't tear during childbirth LOL.

[cappuccinosmom]

I tore all three times, but very minor tears.

Honestly, I didn't feel them at all. Or, I wasn't aware of them as some distinct seperate event. I was busy with intense contractions, pushing, wanting to get the baby out. Of all the parts of labor I went through, the tearing was so minor that I didn't even notice it when it happened (I *did* notice after the birth )

[njbeachgirl]

I had minor perineal tears with both- really didn't notice till after they were born.

[notwonamesalike]

I ended up having an epidural - and didn't know I had torn. I had a 3rd degree tear and close to 30 stitches.

What was painful for me was the first time I went to the bathroom (#2) after delivery. It stretched my stitches terribly and I remember sitting on the toilet holding DH's hand in tears because it was so painful.

I also develeped what my OB later told me was "skin tags" after my tear started to heal. Some of my skin was bunched up between the stitches and was painful each time DH and I made love (Note...this was like 2 months postpartum) and sometimes when I would use the loo. My OB told me it would eventually fall of on it's own due to friction or he could remove it. I opted to wait it out, because I didn't feel like being numbed down there again and then restitched. It took 6 months before that went away entirely.

[SABE]

I've torn with all three births. I wasn't aware of any of the tears until it came time to stitch me up.

[Materfamilias]

Didn't notice at all.

[Romana]

I didn't feel myself tear either time. Both were second degree tears. My understanding is that part of it is that blood has been pushed out of the area so there's less sensation.

Mostly, though, I would just say that (for me) it all hurt so much that there was no way I was going to specifically notice something else painful that was happening. It all hurt a lot.

The second time I was in so much pain that I pushed pretty darn hard and I knew I was probably tearing and I didn't care. I just needed it to be O.V.E.R.!

[MegBoz]

I had a 1st degree tear. It was small - MW said she normally wouldn't have bothered to suture it, but it was continuing to bleed, so she put in about 2 stitches.

I had no idea I'd torn. BUT... I kept hearing how painful "The Ring of Fire" is - so I was expecting a lot of pain there. Actually, my "ring of fire" wasn't all that bad. Yeah, it hurt, but it didn't last long & honestly, I guess I had expected it to be torture - so since I was expecting the worst, it wasn't as bad as I had imagined. Ha - I think the way my mind is, things are just always worse in my head than in reality.

Although, as his head was born, I did say, "Fu** Fu** Fu**" repeatedly & real quick.

[brackin]

I definitely didn't feel the tearing. My friends who had epidurals often comment that they most fear the "ring of fire," the sensation when the baby is crowning and tearing may take place, but as I told them, that was definitely the very least of my concerns at the time (pushing being the primary concern for me...really don't like the pushing phase...).

[pinksprklybarefoot]

I had a second degree tear, but didn't feel/notice it until the next day. So much was going on down there already (baby coming out, then hemorrhaging) that I was oblivious to it.

[Unconventional1]

I had a third degree tear. It took half an hour to get his head out (posterior and partial-frontal crowning so I got the full 14 inches of him). I knew I would tear, because I couldn't get him out any other way. His head pushing on my perineum hurt, but by the time I tore, I was numb there. It felt like a wet, warm pop. One second he was inside the next his whole head was out. I really tried to ease him out, but I just couldn't fit him.

I agree about the after pains being the worst. I sat in the bath at least 10 times a day. And going # 2 was excrutiating. I felt like my bottom was falling out every time and would cry when I felt like I had to go for a couple weeks. It took about 6 weeks to heal most of the way, but I had pain for like 6 months.

[devon]

I had a partial 3rd degree and BOY did I notice when it happened. Stabbing, sharp pain in one place. The stitching was done poorly by a resident and I had a lot of pain for about 3 weeks afterwards.

No significant tearing with #2 - but I was in the water until the actual coming out and I also really supported my perineum and let my body push it out which I think was the reason. MUCH less painful and no recovery needed at all.

[purplepaperclip]

I had 4th degree perineal tearing with internal and labial tearing and let me tell you, I FELT IT! LOL Like a PP said, I could feel the skin splitting and everything burned like hell. Stitching up took forever and a year and also hurt really and felt really really weird.

[Smokering]

I had no idea I'd torn. BUT... I kept hearing how painful "The Ring of Fire" is - so I was expecting a lot of pain there. Actually, my "ring of fire" wasn't all that bad. Yeah, it hurt, but it didn't last long & honestly, I guess I had expected it to be torture - so since I was expecting the worst, it wasn't as bad as I had imagined. Ha - I think the way my mind is, things are just always worse in my head than in reality.

Heh; I remember that during the pushing stage, I turned to DH and said quite matter-of-factly "I can see why they call it the ring of fire". I was a bit out of it, though, and said some odd things--after Rowan's head was out I was pathetically asking "What's born? What's born?", because I felt I couldn't possibly push anything else out! I also had my eyes screwed tight for the last few hours of labour and panicked if I couldn't feel where DH was, or if I thought he'd left my side--it never occurred to me to open my eyes and look. Very weird, but it seemed perfectly normal at the time.

After reading these stories I guess I really was lucky not to tear! Especially given the nuchal hand thing. What's interesting is that I felt like I was pushing with all my might, but it wasn't voluntary pushing--I mean, I only pushed when my body was making me push--and afterwards, my midwife said that I had 'just breathed the baby out'. At the time I was thinking "Like fun I breathed her out!", but now I can sort of see what she meant. I've since read up on the theory of not consciously pushing, and I think maybe that was partly why I didn't tear. The only time I pushed without feeling that 'pushy' overwhelming sensation was after the birth, when they had to forceps the placenta out. And that was not fun. Do people really push, as it were, deliberately? I can't imagine that. I kept looking forward to resting between pushes, I didn't want more of 'em!

[lifeguard]

Smokering - I was the opposite of you the only time I had the desire to push was for the placenta - it really surprised me when all of a sudden I wanted to push. I very much so had to gear myself up & deliberately push. I wish I knew why...

[flowers]

I had 2 small tears with my first ds and I didn't notice at all until the mws told me. With my second I did my own perinium support and did not tear at all.

The difference was in the recovery.

[aurora_skys]

One of my labia tore, right on the inside at the mouth of my vagina. My baby was right occiput posterior which I think contributed to the tear. The whole "front end" area burned from getting stretched but counter pressure by the mw helped to alleviate some of the intensity. I was aware of the tear whn it happened... It felt like when you snap your fingers. Pressure and then a sudden shift when the skin gave. The tear was an inch long and not deep enough to require stitches (although I think some would have chosen to stitch this one...) The tear was not painful when it happened (there were so many other sensations going on that what basically amounts to a good sized cut was nothing), the real pain was in the delicate tissues around my clit. It was a walk in the park for my perinium though, lol!! It healed nicely and only hurt when urine got on it (which, ouch by the way!) although now the scar sometimes stings randomly.. It wasnt nearly as bad as I imagined!!

[Melian]

I had a second degree tear (very small only 1 stitch) and another small tear and I didn't feel a thing. I also did not feel the ring of fire.