oh gosh . ... I'm so sorry!
I'm very glad that no trusted friend or family member was hurting your DD. The fear and suspicion must have been awful for everyone involved.
I hope you can call on all those around you as you begin this long and scary journey. The drs. briefly thought my DS had leukemia when he was 2.5. Thankfully, he didn't, but the fear and uncertainty was horrible. I can only imagine based on what that experience was like for me, what you and your partner and all your loved ones must be feeling.
Please hang in there, turn to others for support, and know we're all thinking about you.