What should guests expect/do at a wedding of your faith? - Page 2

[mtiger]

Originally Posted by Tradd

For Orthodox Christian weddings:

*There are NO vows! This totally throws a lot of people who are used to Catholic/Protestant weddings. In fact, the happy couple doesn't say a thing except for "Lord, have mercy" in response to the litanies.

*Rings are exchanged at the back of the church before the couple moves to the front. The Orthodox tradition is to wear them on the ring finger of the RIGHT hand, although since it's common in western society to put them on the left hand, people will sometimes move them to the left hand after the ceremony. This is called the "betrothal" part of the service.

*The service might be partially in another language (such as Greek or Church Slavonic - ancestor of Russian).

*Sunday afternoon is the traditional day/time for Orthodox weddings. Depending on the bishop, you have to get permission to have a Saturday afternoon wedding, for example, and that permission may not be easily granted.

Just a few comments on the points I left.

Vows may be jurisdictional or situational. When I was married in a ROCOR Church, we did have vows. My brother had to nudge my groom and tell him to "say yes/say no".

Rings... traditionally they are worn on the LEFT hand at betrothal, and then they are moved to the right hand at marriage. At least by Russian tradition.

The ceremony may be COMPLETELY in another language.

While Sunday may be traditional, it is not all that difficult to schedule a wedding for another day of the week. But it helps to have a working relationship with the priest.

[kapatasana]

Originally Posted by Smokering

The oddest wedding service I've been to--it was a nominally Methodist-Mormon wedding, for the record--featured a somewhat unusual celebrant who spent half the sermon going on about Odysseus. I'm still not entirely clear on the point of the analogy, but it was something to do with how noble Odysseus was to leave the lovely nymph Calypso and go home to his ugly wife. Which is odd, because a) she wasn't ugly, b) huh? and c) how is that appropriate for a wedding?

Oh my...I went to a wedding recently were the efficient (my BIL actually, not a minister, just asked to officiate) talked about DEATH the whole time. Cheery.

[Liquesce]

Originally Posted by Smokering

So would this ever be enough of an issue to merit me putting it in the article, or should I not bother? Bearing in mind I only have 500 words here... yep, the wedding etiquette of all faiths in 500 words. I think I could just about cover Presbyterian weddings nicely with that wordcount, but never mind; the Editor Knows All...

Uh ... in 500 words or less, no. In ten thousand words or less, still no. The non-universal probability of some manner of modesty standards that it would be best to ask about beforehand, yes. The minutiae of the diversity thereof ... well, that could fill well more than a book.

The oddest wedding service I've been to--it was a nominally Methodist-Mormon wedding, for the record--featured a somewhat unusual celebrant who spent half the sermon going on about Odysseus. I'm still not entirely clear on the point of the analogy, but it was something to do with how noble Odysseus was to leave the lovely nymph Calypso and go home to his ugly wife. Which is odd, because a) she wasn't ugly, b) huh? and c) how is that appropriate for a wedding?

Well, at least he didn't try to start up everyone in a round of that old song that goes "if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife; from my personal point of view get an ugly girl to marry you ..."

[Tradd]

Originally Posted by mtiger

Vows may be jurisdictional or situational. When I was married in a ROCOR Church, we did have vows. My brother had to nudge my groom and tell him to "say yes/say no".

I assume you're referring to the Russian tradition of asking consent (able to be married) at the very beginning, before the exchange of rings. Not quite "vows" in the western Christian sense.

[Tradd]

OP -

A general list of things folks should keep in mind when attending a religious wedding ceremony:

*Modest dress - for women, no bare shoulders, cleavage, low backs, extremely short skirt. A shawl or little jacket will cover most of these.

*Don't take pictures/video unless you're told it's OK. Some will allow these, but without additional light (no flashes, etc.)

*Don't take any food/drink into the sanctuary. Of course, it's different if it's little kids, and if you need your water due to a medical condition, keep your bottle of water hidden in your bag. Adults taking a cup of coffee in is just plain disrespectful.

*Don't cross your legs (women especially) when sitting down in the ceremony. I've known some pretty relaxed churches that still considered crossing your legs to be over the top.

*If the house of worship requires genders to sit/stand separate (such as some Orthodox Christian churches, or an Orthodox Jewish synagogue - women on one side and men on the other), just go with the flow and don't raise a ruckus about how you can't be separated from your SO.

*If there are some aspects of the ceremony or surrounding traditions of the faith that you don't like/don't agree with, etc., don't mutter loudly about it throughout the entire ceremony (I've seen this happen - the offender was right behind the father of the bride) or even bring it up at the reception. Wait until you're home and out of earshot of anyone involved with the wedding!