I can understand your hostility OP, I even understand the anger.
I'm a mom of 5 kidlets, 8 and under - 3 special needs. I'm also a fibromayalgia patient. With being a fibromite comes the fibro fog - I forget easily the things that I do not write down and are not right under my nose. I don't mean to but it happens and can happen often when I am having flare ups. With the fibro fog comes the pain of fibromayalgia. With that comes side syndromes like irritable bowel syndrome, TMJ problems, insomnia, CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome), and on and on the list goes...
I have done, many a time, what your friend has done and felt horrible guilt and disgust with myself for it. I'm not saying that having a disease like fibro is an excuse - by far it's not but I'm glad most of my friends and family (not all) do understand that when I don't call or don't make it to a family function or a gathering it's not because I'm ignoring them or being mean. It's not because I don't care, appreciate or not respect them.
Granted, I am pretty sure your friend probably doesn't have fibro but you don't need to have a disease like fibro to be having personal issues. Being emotionally over whelmed and touched out which causes that person to shut down emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. I empathize with you because I bet that feels really crappy being on the receiving end of that. You feel left behind, ignored and disrespected and under appreciated as a friend.
It doesn't take much with multiple kids to get "touched out", in particular with a disease that saps your energy and causes you pain on a daily basis that has no medical understanding of where it comes from or how it comes about. However, I do understand how incredibly frustrating it must be for my friends and family to get the "turned off" me so often. It causes me immense guilt when it happens to the point where I just don't know what to say or what to do to make it right and end up "back burnering" it because I don't know how to deal with that situation where I won't make it worse.
I would suggest talking to her to see what's going on, is it a personal issue that she can't seem to bring herself to talk about, doesn't know where to turn. Is she too peopled out or touched out? I always chose to see the good in people rather than the bad myself but I acknowledge that you feel ignored and unappreciated by your friend and that must feel so awful.
She can't begin to understand how you feel if you don't tell her how you feel. Communicate with her, tell her that what she does hurts, that you can't continue a friendship if this takes place. Be honest with her.
I'm a mom of 5 kidlets, 8 and under - 3 special needs. I'm also a fibromayalgia patient. With being a fibromite comes the fibro fog - I forget easily the things that I do not write down and are not right under my nose. I don't mean to but it happens and can happen often when I am having flare ups. With the fibro fog comes the pain of fibromayalgia. With that comes side syndromes like irritable bowel syndrome, TMJ problems, insomnia, CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome), and on and on the list goes...
I have done, many a time, what your friend has done and felt horrible guilt and disgust with myself for it. I'm not saying that having a disease like fibro is an excuse - by far it's not but I'm glad most of my friends and family (not all) do understand that when I don't call or don't make it to a family function or a gathering it's not because I'm ignoring them or being mean. It's not because I don't care, appreciate or not respect them.
Granted, I am pretty sure your friend probably doesn't have fibro but you don't need to have a disease like fibro to be having personal issues. Being emotionally over whelmed and touched out which causes that person to shut down emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. I empathize with you because I bet that feels really crappy being on the receiving end of that. You feel left behind, ignored and disrespected and under appreciated as a friend.
It doesn't take much with multiple kids to get "touched out", in particular with a disease that saps your energy and causes you pain on a daily basis that has no medical understanding of where it comes from or how it comes about. However, I do understand how incredibly frustrating it must be for my friends and family to get the "turned off" me so often. It causes me immense guilt when it happens to the point where I just don't know what to say or what to do to make it right and end up "back burnering" it because I don't know how to deal with that situation where I won't make it worse.
I would suggest talking to her to see what's going on, is it a personal issue that she can't seem to bring herself to talk about, doesn't know where to turn. Is she too peopled out or touched out? I always chose to see the good in people rather than the bad myself but I acknowledge that you feel ignored and unappreciated by your friend and that must feel so awful.
She can't begin to understand how you feel if you don't tell her how you feel. Communicate with her, tell her that what she does hurts, that you can't continue a friendship if this takes place. Be honest with her.
