Anyone who used to not believe in god change their mind?

[gribbit]

What was the decision like for you? I was brought up with a very strong cultural Jewish upbringing, but my parents did not believe in god. I never really did either. Lately, I feel like maybe I am missing something.. I Don't know if its because I am about to turn 40 or what, but I have been thinking a lot of how we got here and what our purpose as humans is. Thinking about the universe is actually kind of anxiety provoking for me because it seems so unlikely to be a random thing and since I don't believe in god I just question how its even possible that we are all here. I don't know that this makes sense at all but I just have a feeling that that is more to the story then I have opened my mind to. At the same time I am not feeling like I can fully yet believe that god exists either. For those who used to not believe, how did you come to change your mind? How did you come to accept god? I am really trying to figure out my path and was hoping to hear from others who took the journey..

[talk de jour]

*raises hand*

I was raised a Christmas-having agnostic.

I became an atheist in my early teens.

I just kind of... drifted my way to Christianity, I guess. It was a really gradual process over about a year and a half. I had a friend who is way into Bible numerology, and reading his stuff made me more inclined to read the Bible on my own (and not just to humor him, lol) ... and that led its way to here. I am a liberal Christian now.

I also had a lot of trouble trying to explain there being absolutely no higher power to myself after awhile -- because I never fully could believe straight-up evolution, for example, and it was a cause of a lot of pain for me to believe "death is the end, there is no afterlife, and there is no reason for our existence."

[bigeyes]

Yup.

I don't associate with any organized religion, because I happen to think the bible was put together by a bunch of men who wanted to control the masses, but I do believe there is an entity of some sort.

I don't believe most people's version of God is correct, I don't view God as a punisher or a vindictive being.

I have yet to find a religion that fits my interpretation.

[mamabadger]

Yes, I was a fairly militant atheist for some years. The change was rather traumatic, to be honest. Best of luck to you.

[InchByInch]

Originally Posted by mamabadger

Yes, I was a fairly militant atheist for some years. The change was rather traumatic, to be honest. Best of luck to you.

I hope I'm not being too nosy (but enquiring minds want to know! Ha!)... but what precipitated the change? I'm always interested in stories of reluctant conversion...

[JamieCatheryn]

As a pre-teen I decided I didn't believe in God or at least that there was no way I could know sure enough to want to worship him or anything.

About 15 that we all had the power to create reality through belief, and that included creating gods and goddesses if we so believed, and fairies, and magic, and anything else.

At 16 almost 17 one night I found I'd come to believe in a God outside of all that subjective reality, had a vision of Her (though both sexes in nature God happened to appear feminine in my vision), and asked that She take over my power to shape reality and do it for me, trusting that God would do it perfectly whereas I could not.

[lotusdebi]

I was an atheist for 20 years. I became agnostic when I realized that I didn't know what I thought I knew about love, which led to the full realization of "I know nothing". From there, I had a series of what some may call "spiritual experiences". Those led me to Taoism and Buddhism. I finally figured that what I believe now is known as Pantheism. I don't believe in the same sort of "God" that the majority believes in, and frankly, I won't. The concept of a judgemental, vengeful being spying on me isn't at all appealing, and I wouldn't worship such a creature. My beliefs are fulfilling to me, and I continue to explore different ideas.

[bigeyes]

For me it was through some psychic experiences where I felt like I was getting
messages from a higher power.

Since I was getting warnings that were for my own good, or to help others, I figured they had to be coming from a higher power.

[Arduinna]

I'm not sure if I really qualify to post. As a kid I believed there had to be something out there, but I wasn't raised in a religion. Then I spent years convinced there was nothing and was a self described atheist. I converted to Judaism but it was more a rejection of Christianity than a real belief. Then I was various different kinds of pagan religions and finally I am Catholic.

What changed? Firstly I was raised with very little understanding of religion at all. Over the years I realized that what I rejected was based off of misinformation and misunderstanding of Christian history and teaching. I was drawn to Catholic ritual. I was drawn to Jesus, ironically my Jewish dh was my first model as he was always interested in Christian history while I outright rejected it. But we sometimes had interesting discussions and then I had positive models of Christians that increased my curiousity. Lastly I started reading, and asking questions trying to understand the teachings even though many of them were the antithesis of years held secular views. I tried to listen and understand with an open mind, and finally John Paul II theology of the body explained teachings that I'd struggled with in a way that made sense so I understand the basis that they were formed from. Plus a little ah ha moment that made me realize that for years I'd created God in my image of who and what I said God was, instead of listening I did all talking.

[gribbit]

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences with me. Lotusdebi what you wrote really resonated with me. I had no idea there was a word for it but I looked up Pantheism and it really described how I feel. I just feel in awe of nature and the universe as a whole and the fact that we are even here. I am still trying to figure out my path and I am so thankful for all the great food for thought I am getting from you guys.

[christianmomof3]

I was raised in a reform Jewish home. I guess my parents believed in God, but they did not really share that with us. Our Judaism was mainly cultural I guess, although I was very active in BBYO and a Temple Youth group in High School.
By the time I was in college I had decided that dressing up and going to synagogue on the high holy days was hypocritical and I stopped taking part in it. I took classes in philosophy and psychology and anthropology and decided that evidence pointed to man creating god rather than God creating man.
I had decided that religion was a waste of time and was for people of lower intelligence who wanted the comfort of rituals and some sort of belief.
I was not looking for God or religion at all.
Then, some years later, a co-worker who had been praying for me shared the gospel with me and I prayed to Jesus. I don't know why I did that, but it seemed to me that if He was not God, which I figured He was not, and I also figured there was not a god at all, then it would not hurt anything to pray to Him.
I was also baptised that night in their bathtub. I had no idea why I was doing that either, but I did it.
After that, my entire life changed.
I had no idea why or what had happened.
I was incredibly happy for no reason and I felt very different.
I took a home pregnancy test because I thought maybe that was why I was feeling so different.
I was not pregnant.
But, I did have a new life within me, it is the Life of the Lord.
He now lives in me and I am a born again Christian. :
I now know that God exists because I experience Him.

[mamabadger]

Originally Posted by InchByInch

I hope I'm not being too nosy (but enquiring minds want to know! Ha!)... but what precipitated the change? I'm always interested in stories of reluctant conversion...

I can't really say. It was nothing dramatic. It was as if I finally looked over my shoulder and realized someone else was in a room I had thought was empty - just as straightforward as that, and just as clear and undeniable. I think my initial reaction was, "Uh-oh!"

[sky_and_lavender]

I was raised without religion by agnostic/atheist parents and considered myself agnostic/atheist for most of my life. When I was a kid, I had this vague notion that what made people unhappy was that they gave up the "eyes of the heart." I did start meditating when I was a teenager because I felt the need for something, and Buddhism didn't require one to believe in "God," which I associated with the patriarchal idea of "God the Father" that didn't speak to me.

In years of meditation and life, I identified this sense of "something else" that was beyond me. I also thought a lot about the universe and cosmology and probabilities. (I'm a science-oriented person in my outer life.) And I thought a lot about the strain of having an intellectual belief that the physical is all there is that conflicted with what I felt in my heart--whether what I felt was a yearning or an illusion or something "objective" started to seem less important. I discovered in the idea of God a perspective that liberated me without blinding me. I hadn't realized before that "proof" is not the point.

My personal notion of God is that humans can never comprehend God or God's perspective, yet I believe God exists and also that humans are not cut off from God. Prayer and worship are not for God's sake but for our own sake--it strengthens one's soul and helps maintain perspective to do what is right and be at peace. (I'm Muslim.)

It has been a painful process that I'm really not done with. For all my life I struggled to just be okay with the meaninglessness of life, and then I guess I accepted the existentialist notion that one must create one's own meaning. My theism developed gradually but came at me suddenly. One day something happened, and I realized there is a God, and I had known it all along but hadn't known that that's what I'd experienced.

I can't seem to rise completely above the postmodern perspective that engulfs my culture, so I often think really weird, self-serving things like, "believing in God/prayer is good for my health" and "it doesn't really matter what I believe, but I'm going to believe in God because I prefer it." Sometimes I feel like postmodernism is a virus that is eating my soul, honestly. But this is a time of rapid cultural change, so this sense of dislocation is one that many people have felt at tipping points of history. This confusion is not new to humanity. Also, I think Judaism has a lot of commentary on this subject of believing/doubting in God, and I know also that many Muslim and Christian scholars have dealt with it. We really are not alone in this.

Best of luck to you! This is an important topic for me, so if you feel like writing, my mailbox is open

[Sailor]

Well, this might be a bit different perspective than what you're looking for ... but it is on topic.

I'm an atheist, and don't believe in God or a "higher power." However, I think the universe, life - my life - is filled with mystery and wonder. I think there are MANY things which we do not know or can't explain. I am open to ALL explanations. I love reading about them, thinking about them, exploring them. But, I also am a very logical person. So, it's hard for me to really believe in unsubstantiates claims. Hence why I'm an atheist, lol.

My point is though - not believing in God does not mean you can't be open to all the potential possibilities out there. You can. There's nothing to be afraid of and nothing to be anxious about.

If we're all really and truly honest ... not a single one of us in this world has a clue where we came from, and why we're here. These are age old questions to which we have no answer. Eventually, we will ALL find out whether or not there is an afterlife or whether or not God exists. Death is universal - we'll all experience it and know then.

Until that point, as an atheist, I keep my mind open, but stick to logic in terms of evaluating potentialities. If I'm wrong ... well, I'm a moral person. If a higher being wants to stick me in hell simply for not beliving - I'm OK with that.

But, I think there are many paths up the mountain. We're all climbing this one mountain, and via different paths, we're all going to get to that top.

Obvisouly, if you feel the need to explore religion and belief - go for it. I love exploring different philosophies and beliefs myself (though for more intellectual reasons). But, just because you're atheist or agnostic or just plain unsure ... it doesn't mean you need to close yourself off to all the possibilities in the world.

[bigeyes]

OP, to further add to the confusion, I don't happen to think a belief in evolution and a belief in God are mutually exclusive. Since I don't believe every little word in the bible is fact, I don't have to believe in one or the other only.

[Summertime Mommy]

I was raised without a real religion, my nana took me to church sometimes, but my parents didn't. When I was 13, I converted to Catholocism, my mom's religion. I think I enjoyed the traditions more than the faith. There were always questions that no one could seem to answer for me. When I was 20, my third child was born and she was severely disabled. At that point, I had a major crisis of faith and just stopped believing all together. Eventually, it just started feeling "wrong" like there had to be something more out there, so I started looking into Buddhism, but was ultimately unhappy with it because there wasn't as much of a God figure. I tryed going back to Christianity, but the more I studied the more I felt that I couldn't get behind the Jesus idea anymore (the son of God part). So I kept looking and almost as a last resort, stumbled upon Islam. It sounds crazy, but as soon as I started reading the Qur'an, I knew that this was the truth, and I converted within 2 months. I still struggle a lot with the person I am and the person I feel my faith wants me to be, but I have never looked back. It was almost like a huge weight was lifted off me when I said my shahada, I can't even explain the relief I felt. I think that everyone has their own path to enlightenment, and if you keep searching, you'll eventually find it.

[talk de jour]

Originally Posted by bigeyes

OP, to further add to the confusion, I don't happen to think a belief in evolution and a belief in God are mutually exclusive. Since I don't believe every little word in the bible is fact, I don't have to believe in one or the other only.

I believe that evolution is a mechanism of God.

When I said that I had trouble believing in "straight evolution," that was what I was getting at. Sorry for any confusion.

[bigeyes]

Originally Posted by talk de jour

I believe that evolution is a mechanism of God.

When I said that I had trouble believing in "straight evolution," that was what I was getting at. Sorry for any confusion.

I'm not sure they have anything to do with each other. I haven't quite decided if I believe God is our creator, or just our guide.

I kind of kick around an idea that the universe, creatures and humanity just exist and God is separate and not necessarily responsible for creation, just our spiritual guidance and occasional help, if that makes any sense.

[Liquesce]

Originally Posted by gribbit

For those who used to not believe, how did you come to change your mind? How did you come to accept god? I am really trying to figure out my path and was hoping to hear from others who took the journey..

While my parents are "officially" of different religions, in practice when I was growing up they were very much the same in being pretty irreligious, so I grew up mostly with a "anyone of any sort of education or intellect knows there is no god" kind of belief about belief. But one day I changed my mind. I know that sounds pretty flippant, but for me it really was that simple ... having grown up with only the notion that god is impossible, a farce hoisted upon humans by humans, a manipulative tactic more than a reality, etc, etc, etc, while I suppose overall the moment of it occurring to me that I might be wrong and god might be possible was pretty personally revolutionary, at the time it seemed more like just an "oh, huh" kind of thing. One day I was sure of the atheist line, the next day it dawned on me that faith is faith, be it theist or atheist, and that since I, like you, suddenly didn't buy the randomness of it all so much anymore, the faith I'd been following may have been somewhat inappropriate to my actual beliefs -- that going with a belief system in line with my own beliefs would not automatically deduct a hundred points from my IQ.

[HrCreuzi]

I was raised in a very liberal family that did believe in Christian beliefs but didn't live by them strictly. Meaning- we went to church now and then off and on. We usually went for the social and singing aspects more than anything. I always believed in multiple beings- Mother Earth and God were married. They both helped create the universe and world. The big bang was God clapping his hands and then Mother Earth stirred things up in her pot to get them cooking. Earth was a split experiment. She said "hm, let's just let it go wild and see what happens". He couldn't be so laid back and had to tinker with everything. I've always talked with trees and plants and animals and believed in Fairies.

In high school I met and dated a guy who was into Norse beliefs. He opened my mind in many ways. The talking to trees that people had told me was crazy and talked out of me made sense. The next year I got back into Christianity, UCC. I wanted to go into youth ministries. But it still didn't feel right, something was missing. That summer my new boyfriend was into Wicca (for all the wrong reasons though). I started to read some of the books and it made more sense and felt better to me.

After many years I have come to a belief that there are many beings out there and all beliefs have some truth to them. But what matters is more what feels right to you and what helps you live a better life. I follow a Pagan path because it makes the most sense to me logically and emotionally. I am always willing to be proven wrong though!