naming body parts?

[hrsmom]

I have a question, how do you name your daughter's "private parts"? I was thinking about this the other day, and this morning my daughter was chewing on my elbow, and it got me thinking about body parts again. Pubic bone? Labia? Something else? The only time I've ever heard people name those parts with a girl learning body parts, it's been something less than flattering, like "stinky" or something, and she doesn't stink so that's not appropriate!

[sarahn4639]

This is something I feel strongly about. I think it is important to use proper names. When we call arms, feet, noses, ect by their proper name but say pee pee, hoo hoo, down there, ect for our genitals it creates a sense of shame and/or mystery about our own bodies. We say vulva, penis, and bottom, bottom because it's simply more general, she does know that stool come out her anus but for everyday language we say bottom.

I sometimes say belly, pigs, rear end, ect so I don't necessarily think "cutesy" terms are bad but I think proper terminology should be taught and used atleast the majority of the time.

Perhaps I should use the disclaimer that I teach puberty, anatomy, and sex education so it's something I feel strongly about for a variety of reasons and I see the impact when a 15 year old can't say the words vulva or vagina and has no idea what her own body looks like because it's simply "down there" and an abstract idea to her.

/rant over

[philomom]

Vulva. Say it like any other part... nose, toes, lips, vulva.

[annettemarie]

I'm going to move this out to the general parenting forum, since it's not specific to parenting a babe.

[JBaxter]

We have all boys here but we always use the correct names. My now 5 yr old when through a phase where he told people I had a VOLVO ( that goodness I did drive a volvo)

[captain crunchy]

Wow, lots of vulva threads floating around

Yes, we do vulva, vagina, anus, etc...we are completely not embarrassed or whatever about stuff like that. We think it is important to teach correct terms -- the only caveat being we taught dd "vagina" first because she pronounced that more clearly than vulva when she was smaller and we felt it important that she be understood to others should the need ever arise (God forbid).

But yeah, she even knows urethra, and clitoris and labia -- clitoris scared the heck out of me when she told me something was in her vagina and I thought, oh God what has she stuck up there..... it was her clitoris she was referring to

[Belle]

We taught our dd that she has a vulva. A vagina is an internal organ and means as much to her right now as her uterus. So we didn't teach her the word "vagina" yet. That will come later.

Also it was important to us that she know that girls have vulvas and boys have penises. NOT that boys have penises and girls don't. This is what I was told as a child. I didn't know what a breast or a vulva was until I was an adult. Breasts were called "boobs" in our house.

[sarahn4639]

Heather, that is sad. So many things can be insinuated from a message like that, so sad.

[hrsmom]

I guessed I've missed the other vulva threads! I appreciate these responses so far. It's something I hadn't given much thought to before, and since I myself am not sure what words to teach my daughter or even use (correct terminology makes the most sense!) I definitely want her to know. I agree with the points made so far, and at the same time I don't know anyone IRL who uses the correct terms! Sad but true. So thank you for the encouragement!

ETA- I just saw the other thread!

[BohoMama]

We use the Czech term "Julina" which is actually a diminutive form of the name Julia. Why Julia? Nobody has been able to tell me. This term has the advantage of being friendly, not vulgar or shameful, not too cutesy or too clinical, and it is used by both children and adults - but it has the disadvantage of being a little anatomically vague. Both vulva and vagina are included in this term. I wrote a long post on one of the "sex talk" threads on how we explain body parts and functions, so just to quickly recap, I explain the Julina as being mostly a gate through which babies emerge from a woman's belly into the world. We are gradually introducing more information, as for example, this week, when my son and I got into a discussion of ovulation and I brought up the way unfertilized eggs also exit the body through the Julina.

One of our funny moments was when my son one day asked me if I would make him a "vac'ina" and I was like "O dear gods, what is he asking me for?" I asked him what he meant by this and he repeated "vac'ina" several times. Finally, I got that he was making his request bilingually. He wanted me to make him a svac'ina, which is Czech for a snack! Another good one was maybe 2 years ago when he asked why his little sister doesn't have "tickles." I'm sure you can guess what he noticed she was missing, but it really cracked me up.

[mom2threenurslings]

We use "yoni" (sanskrit) as a general term for the female "private parts" and vulva, vagina, etc. as needed and penis, scrotum, etc. for boys' parts. And breasts, nipples, ears, arms, feet, etc.

As someone who was abused, I want my kids to know the proper names of all thier body parts if someone were to touch them inappropriately so that they could clearly report what exact parts were touched.