Can someone please enlighten me about UU church?

[AddysMom]

My daughter has been going to a church with her grandfather. She really loves church but its sorta of that southern holy than thou type. So my DH and I decided it would be best to take her out and find one that all of us could attend. My Dh and I both run from organized religion. We are very open minded people. Looking around for churches I found a UU very close by with 300 members. To be honest I dont know much about it but it seems like a better fit. So any info about what to expect during a service what they talk about sunday dress etc would be soo soo wonderful. Thanks you

[siobhang]

First off, I recommend you check out http://www.uua.org/visitors/index.shtml - this is the UU association website, with loads of information on the religious beliefs and experiences of UUs.

Secondly, keep in mind that each UU church is very different. Some are very Christian in format/focus, others are more pagan or buddist, others are very secular humanist. UU is NOT Christian, though there are Christian UUs (along with Jewish UUs, Buddist UUs, Atheist/Agnostic UUs, Pagan UUs, etc). So the service could be very traditional, with pews, choir, sermon,erc. Or it could be a circle dance and chants - and the same church could have both on alternate weeks. If the church has a website, I would check it out to find out the flavor of the church (even if they call themselves a church - some don't). You can also usually find out if the regular minister is going to be giving the service or if there is a guest sermon - I suggest going when the regular minister is there b/c the guest sermon can sometimes be very different than the regular service.

Generally UU churches follow the "no shirt, no shoes, no problem!" attitude towards clothing - I recommend turning up in business casual if you are unsure - you may find yourself the best dressed there!

Many UU churchs have nametags or special greeters to meet guests and answer questions. A 300 member church is very likely to have religious education classes - much of the time, your child can drop in to one while you get a feel for it (I teach preschool RE, and we welcome drop ins).

Come and check out the December UU thread - we've been talking about our experiences in our various churches and some posters have been asking some great questions about the faith, etc.

And ask more questions - UUs are sort of notorious for generating more questions than answers! ; )

[kamilla626]

From what I understand, UU congregations can very pretty greatly.

I used to feel very uncomfortable with the idea of organized religion, but I feel at home with UU's. The "society" (not actually a "church") where I attend is VERY liberal and community-service focused. There is also a strong focus on children, families (of all kinds) and the environment. It's a pretty "crunchy" community.

The minister is a lesbian woman with a partner and adopted daughter. The congregation is also devoted to welcoming families of all kinds, same-sex couples, multi-cultural families, etc. I love that dd is making friends whose families are very different than ours.

People generally dress very casually, and the atmosphere is so warm and welcoming I could probably show up in bunny slippers and wonder woman costume and take a seat in the front pew without so much as a whisper! I usually wear cords or khakis and a sweater or nice top.

UU's also acknowledge that the "divine" or "holy" can be found - not only in the the historical Jesus - but in other historical figures, as well as the nice neighbor down the street that plows your driveway, etc. T

Dh is also very anti-church. Not anti-religion completely - but he's uncomfortable with the control, hatred, bigtory, hypocrisy and greed that has grown out of some organized religions. Yet even he has attended services with me a couple times, and each time he goes with me, he understands more and more about why I love it so much.

[Theoretica]

Just want to ditto what has already been said, and I'll give you an idea of how our UU church runs, although they can all be different.

We have a kinda official service at our uu church. I say kinda because it's not at all a 'serious ceremony' or anything, but we do have a ritualish feel to it. First we light the chalice and say the thingy about being a welcoming congregation, then we have a reading (usually an inspirational poem, paragraph from a book, spoken song, etc). We have a greeting to those sitting around us, where we all say howdy for a minute or so (usually the pastor has to corral everyone back to their seats LOL). We have Candles of Joy and Concerns, where people can, if they want, come up and light a candle and share (if they want) a joy or concern with the congregation. There is always one last candle lit for joys and concerns too personal to share. Then we 'sing out the children' as they head down to RE (Religious Education) class (more on that in a sec). We usually follow this with a time for meditation, sometimes with music, sometimes with a reading, and sometimes just quiet introspection. We have the offering, and announcements are read regarding upcoming events. The pastor gives a sermon on whatever the topic is, and afterwards he passes around a basket asking for questions to answer. Some are serious and deep theological questions, some are benign (what exactly do you want us to call you? Pastor? Reverend? Smitty? He laughed and said Your Holiness would suffice. Everyone else then laughed and promised a tar and feather party after social hour lol) But regardless it's a neat time for us to interact during the service. After the service we have about 15-20 minutes of 'social hour' before the kids are done, so the adults can mingle without interruption. Then the kids come up (there's snacks upstairs with us...always a motivator LOL) and we head home.

Religious Education for the kids is actually nothing of the kind. Last year they explored a different ancient religion each month (Egyptian, Greek, Roman etc) and this year they are exploring "What Can I do for UU", which is obviously a play on words while emphasizing social justice

There are also lots of other social things going on during the week and each month. There's a social justice committee, a GLBT action committee, an environmental committee, and more.

If you've found a UU church w/300 members, that's bigger than ours so is likely to have more to do. We love our UU church because UU's believe in "Deeds Not Creeds" and I never have to worry about my kids coming home with wacky ideas like the ones they got over at Gmas church

Hope that helps!
Bellevuemama

[EnviroBecca]

Religious Education for the kids is actually nothing of the kind.

I was raised UU, and this was my problem with it: I wanted adults to tell me what THEY believed, spell it all out for me, show me how to practice it, so that I could either find the Truth there or know that I must seek another path. Instead, I was in an environment where we learned ABOUT religions in much the same way my school social studies classes learned about foreign and ancient cultures, where the most important thing in teaching religion was to avoid saying any of it was true, where people who truly believed in stuff were spoken of with indulgent pity if not outright mockery. I spent much of my time in RE thinking, "Okay, the Taoists say this and the Navajo say that, but what do WE believe???"

It was not a comfortable environment for me, and I would not raise a child UU. But if it sounds great to you, go for it! I guess the one good thing I learned in UU is that different beliefs work for different people.

[Adele_Mommy]

Originally Posted by EnviroBecca

I was raised UU, and this was my problem with it: I wanted adults to tell me what THEY believed, spell it all out for me, show me how to practice it, so that I could either find the Truth there or know that I must seek another path. Instead, I was in an environment where we learned ABOUT religions in much the same way my school social studies classes learned about foreign and ancient cultures, where the most important thing in teaching religion was to avoid saying any of it was true, where people who truly believed in stuff were spoken of with indulgent pity if not outright mockery. I spent much of my time in RE thinking, "Okay, the Taoists say this and the Navajo say that, but what do WE believe???"

It was not a comfortable environment for me, and I would not raise a child UU. But if it sounds great to you, go for it! I guess the one good thing I learned in UU is that different beliefs work for different people.

I just wanted to mention that all UU RE is not like this. At my church our 4th to 6th graders are doing Neighboring Religions where they learn about other faiths, but our younger kids have very different RE curricula. In first and second grade my dd did "Free to Believe", which is all about learning what it means to be UU. She learns about the history of our faith and the seven principles that are at the core of Unitarian Universalism. She is also taught not just that different beliefs work for different people, but how to think about big questions like God and death and that a person's beliefs are not, or do not have to be, static: our beliefs change as we grow and gain new experiences. This year she is doing Experiences with the Interdependent Web, a heavily science and nature-based curriculum that encourages the kids to make a spiritual connection with the world around them and to understand how things connect to each other. She is loving RE this year and, based on my conversations with her, she has a good sense of her own spiritual identity and does not feel left adrift or without direction at all.

[Mommy StormRaven]

Gonna ditto Adele. Our RE is Religious Exploration. Our girls love it. And coming from a Buddipagan household who are also UU's they already have an idea of wher ethey are at...

But Belvue - your service sounds almost identical to ours!

I'm at UUCL in Lexington and we do have close to 300 members - our "great hall" is round and surrounded by trees it's just lovely.

See if the UU church you are interested in attending has a membership coordinator and/or website and that can tell you a LOT about how that church runs. GOOD LUCK!