Hi. I would soooo appreciate any sharing and advice: Especially when tired, hungry, burnt out, depressed, when I haven't had any breaks from baby all day, or when certain sore/irritating subjects come up, I get these episodes of an anger, always directed at dh, which is so big and hot and explosive, I feel helpless before the urge to hit or kick or pummel or somehow discharge the charge shooting through my body! It isn't something I've struggled with my whole life--just since pregnany last year...it may be related to hormones since it feels sooo PMS-y. All my friends see me as this peaceful hippy girl and are shocked (as I am, and mortified and depressed) that this physical anger-violence is an issue for me. The actual outburst takes less than one minute, about once a week...but the negative effect on my self-esteem goes deep and lasts long. DD is 7 months old, and I feel like I'll hate myself if she ever sees me like this! The first few times I was this mad I actually slapped dd, and also wanted to hit myself, such violent feelings, and it seems like I've been slowly trying to redirect the energy to less hurtful places, so that then I threw a block of cheese at him, then a soft towel at him, then a soft object of some sort just at the floor. I'm embaressed to share this, I ought to know how to handle anger by my age, but I guess I just never learned those tools, and want so badly to learn now...I know I should count to 10, or take a walk, or just sit down and cry, but it's sooo hard to resist the urge to physically DO something BIG with the anger. Can anyone relate? Am I a freak? DH has gotten used to it, and is very sweet snd understanding, says I'm just a fire sign under a lot of new stresses (and hormones) with motherhood, and that he'll get me a punching bag or do any thing else to support me...
Does anyone else deal with this? Or have any good ideas about what to do with these feelings? My goal is to learn to deal with it in a way that I would be proud to have dd copy. In these moments its like I'm a tiny kid having a tantrum. Time to parent myself so that I can be a better parent to dd. Thanks in advance for any support.
Does anyone else deal with this? Or have any good ideas about what to do with these feelings? My goal is to learn to deal with it in a way that I would be proud to have dd copy. In these moments its like I'm a tiny kid having a tantrum. Time to parent myself so that I can be a better parent to dd. Thanks in advance for any support.
Some things I have noticed: I am much worse if i have eaten corn syrup(or drank it) I feel trapped and overwhelmed the day after i have had corn syrup. I also get angry when I am hungry. I am trying to control these things and feel much better when I do.
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