Greetings, mamas! I'm new to this board and don't want to offend anyone with a sensitive religious topic, so I'm going to do my best to avoid any direct references and speak only generally about some issues we've been having with our relatives. I originally posted this in my Due Date Club, but one of the ladies recommended I try to post here, so I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts...
Firstly, the cornerstone of what I believe is that everyone is entitled to pursue his/her own religious or spiritual path. I have never felt any incentive to change how anyone else thinks or feels on the matter. I guess that's why it truly offends and frustrates me when someone else tries to persuade or argue with me to change my beliefs.
DH & I have strong feelings about how we want to raise our child with regards to religion. Unfortunately, both our families come from the same faith - which we left - and they don't hesitate to get preachy or show their disapproval for our choices.
We've decided the best thing we can do when dealing with a preachy, self-righteous, judgy relative is to remain calm, while openly disagreeing whenever one of them brings up the topic. In the past, my reaction has always been to nod politely and then quickly try to change the subject. But I've realized our relatives are not going to give up on us and probably read our silence as guilt or reluctant agreement - especially now that we're adding a new family member they want to bring into their fold. Personally, I think the most correct response is "It's none of your business". However, because it's built into their belief systems that they have a moral obligation to speak their truth, the whole concept of "live and let live" is lost on them.
So again, polite contradiction is our best defense (e.g. "I respect you enough to leave your beliefs alone and hope you'll do the same for me"; "I don't feel I have to believe what you do to be a good person or raise a good kid" ). When baby gets older, we think it'll set a good example of tolerance for our child and also make the most of teaching opportunities when they come up.
Just wondering...does anyone else have the same issues? And what do you do about them? Please share what's worked for you.
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- Mylah (due Jan 7, '09)
Firstly, the cornerstone of what I believe is that everyone is entitled to pursue his/her own religious or spiritual path. I have never felt any incentive to change how anyone else thinks or feels on the matter. I guess that's why it truly offends and frustrates me when someone else tries to persuade or argue with me to change my beliefs.
DH & I have strong feelings about how we want to raise our child with regards to religion. Unfortunately, both our families come from the same faith - which we left - and they don't hesitate to get preachy or show their disapproval for our choices.
We've decided the best thing we can do when dealing with a preachy, self-righteous, judgy relative is to remain calm, while openly disagreeing whenever one of them brings up the topic. In the past, my reaction has always been to nod politely and then quickly try to change the subject. But I've realized our relatives are not going to give up on us and probably read our silence as guilt or reluctant agreement - especially now that we're adding a new family member they want to bring into their fold. Personally, I think the most correct response is "It's none of your business". However, because it's built into their belief systems that they have a moral obligation to speak their truth, the whole concept of "live and let live" is lost on them.
So again, polite contradiction is our best defense (e.g. "I respect you enough to leave your beliefs alone and hope you'll do the same for me"; "I don't feel I have to believe what you do to be a good person or raise a good kid" ). When baby gets older, we think it'll set a good example of tolerance for our child and also make the most of teaching opportunities when they come up.
Just wondering...does anyone else have the same issues? And what do you do about them? Please share what's worked for you.
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- Mylah (due Jan 7, '09)
