Sorry, this is long, but I need advice.
I had a discussion yesterday with my supervisor about bfing and pumping in the office that I did when DS was born (he is 2 yrs now and I'm pregnant with my second at 44 yrs). I am perhaps being too sensitive, and I was upset by the end of the conversation, so I want to tell my story. This discussion came up again because I will probably be bringing the second into my office again, for a shorter period of time.
First, a little history: I work in a fairly liberal gov't office environment that was totally supportive of bringing my baby into the office for the first six months (at least until he was crawling). And it was winter and a more relaxed, less busy period of time in the office. About half of my co-workers have children, but mostly grown. The other half don't seem to have a clue about children or parenting, but seem to be fairly accomodating. I was quite lucky, and my supervisor even allowed me to work at home for two days a week for three months. I also took two months of paid leave. I brought DS into the office when he was about 3 months old until he was about 6 months. It was usually only one or two days a week, depending on the schedule I had arranged with DH.
I have an office that is in a back corner with a sliding glass door, not an actual door, but better privacy that most others have in the office. The rest of the office is very open, particularly the second floor, which is open to the first floor without much of a sound barrier. Everyone else has partians and cookie cutter walls creating their office. So, to say the least, even breast pumping was easy and private in this back office. Except if someone came and knocked when my glass door was open. I'll admit, I wasn't the best at closing it all the time (its heavy and it blocks off the other employees that I supervise and also blocks access to a storage room that they sometimes need to get to through my office) while I was feeding my son or pumping. But my supervisor (no children), was supportive but I could tell she was very uncomfortable with the whole BFing in the office. She was the first to make me a sign that she put on my glass door, that basically said, "entering the baby zone, knock first."
I really hadn't thought of it, since I began to enjoy Bfing so much and saw it as natural. And I could begin to tell who was comfortable with it--such as the head boss (who had children) was the nicest of all, and never seemed uncomfortable if she interrupted me in my office by accident while BFing or pumping. Most people would walk away and say, "sorry, I'll come back," while she would still stand there and talk to me. I felt comfortable with the co-workers who seemed to accept it, but I realize not everyone is that way.
However, after the sign was put up, I really didn't have any accidents of people walking into my office much, except some would knock and instead of waiting for my answer, would walk right in. And I didn't always have the sliding door completely closed, because I guess deep down, I felt there was a sign and I didn't feel like I should have to completely seal myself off from the rest of the office, since they knew I had a baby there and I could be possibly feeding him.
Okay, I'll get to the end of this, I promise. So I brought up the new baby schedule to my supervisor yesterday on what I planned to do. She mentioned for the fourth time, this time with more insistance, that I needed to basically be more discrete in the office. Several co-workers had come to her and complained about walking in on me or seeing my breast pump apparatus (bottles with suction cups attached) at the kitchen lounge sink (everyone eats lunch here because we are too far from town or home). I used to pump 2 or 3 times a day in my office (I did this for almost a year! My DS was BF'd until was 2 and I ran out of milk because of my pregancy. It was not easy, and I never heard one compliment from any parent in the office on how difficult this was--cause most of them only nursed for 3-6 months). I would pump, put the milk in a bag right away, toss it in the freezer, and bring the pump bottles to the sink to rinse out. I was always aware that someone in the office would get grossed out by the bottles sitting by the sink (they never had milk in them, and were always rinsed) but sometimes I would try to make one trip since my office was far away from the lunch lounge and while no one was around, I'd dash to the bathroom--so perhaps for 1 or 2 minutes the bottles were left sitting by the kitchen sink and microwave. This bothered people apparently, because she said several people came to her about it. Towards the end of my pumping, I started to rinse the bottles in the bathroom sink, but there is a very small sink with nothing else--no place to even set a bottle down without it falling off the sink, so when I did that I would have to rinse them out and return to my office with them wet, they were never dry.
I guess it is unreasonable to expect co-workers to be okay with seeing these bottles sitting in the lounge area, and I should be more discrete, but the fact that some of these employees have gone to my supervisor before in an undermining fashion, it just kind of makes me angry. I suppose I should be greatful that they have been so supportive already. In fact, no one complained (that I know of) of my baby crying (which wasn't very often).
I don't want to get all bent out of shape, but I sort of am right now. I felt that I did my best, and its obvious to me that people still have a lot of aversions to bfing. I think its weird. One thing is for sure, that glass door is going to be closed off to everyone and I'm going to be able to throw my lunch in the microwave, go to the bathroom and clean out my pump at the same time, for fear that someone might encounter my pump sitting there for a few minutes while I'm in the bathroom. Thoughts?
Minaret
I had a discussion yesterday with my supervisor about bfing and pumping in the office that I did when DS was born (he is 2 yrs now and I'm pregnant with my second at 44 yrs). I am perhaps being too sensitive, and I was upset by the end of the conversation, so I want to tell my story. This discussion came up again because I will probably be bringing the second into my office again, for a shorter period of time.
First, a little history: I work in a fairly liberal gov't office environment that was totally supportive of bringing my baby into the office for the first six months (at least until he was crawling). And it was winter and a more relaxed, less busy period of time in the office. About half of my co-workers have children, but mostly grown. The other half don't seem to have a clue about children or parenting, but seem to be fairly accomodating. I was quite lucky, and my supervisor even allowed me to work at home for two days a week for three months. I also took two months of paid leave. I brought DS into the office when he was about 3 months old until he was about 6 months. It was usually only one or two days a week, depending on the schedule I had arranged with DH.
I have an office that is in a back corner with a sliding glass door, not an actual door, but better privacy that most others have in the office. The rest of the office is very open, particularly the second floor, which is open to the first floor without much of a sound barrier. Everyone else has partians and cookie cutter walls creating their office. So, to say the least, even breast pumping was easy and private in this back office. Except if someone came and knocked when my glass door was open. I'll admit, I wasn't the best at closing it all the time (its heavy and it blocks off the other employees that I supervise and also blocks access to a storage room that they sometimes need to get to through my office) while I was feeding my son or pumping. But my supervisor (no children), was supportive but I could tell she was very uncomfortable with the whole BFing in the office. She was the first to make me a sign that she put on my glass door, that basically said, "entering the baby zone, knock first."
I really hadn't thought of it, since I began to enjoy Bfing so much and saw it as natural. And I could begin to tell who was comfortable with it--such as the head boss (who had children) was the nicest of all, and never seemed uncomfortable if she interrupted me in my office by accident while BFing or pumping. Most people would walk away and say, "sorry, I'll come back," while she would still stand there and talk to me. I felt comfortable with the co-workers who seemed to accept it, but I realize not everyone is that way.
However, after the sign was put up, I really didn't have any accidents of people walking into my office much, except some would knock and instead of waiting for my answer, would walk right in. And I didn't always have the sliding door completely closed, because I guess deep down, I felt there was a sign and I didn't feel like I should have to completely seal myself off from the rest of the office, since they knew I had a baby there and I could be possibly feeding him.
Okay, I'll get to the end of this, I promise. So I brought up the new baby schedule to my supervisor yesterday on what I planned to do. She mentioned for the fourth time, this time with more insistance, that I needed to basically be more discrete in the office. Several co-workers had come to her and complained about walking in on me or seeing my breast pump apparatus (bottles with suction cups attached) at the kitchen lounge sink (everyone eats lunch here because we are too far from town or home). I used to pump 2 or 3 times a day in my office (I did this for almost a year! My DS was BF'd until was 2 and I ran out of milk because of my pregancy. It was not easy, and I never heard one compliment from any parent in the office on how difficult this was--cause most of them only nursed for 3-6 months). I would pump, put the milk in a bag right away, toss it in the freezer, and bring the pump bottles to the sink to rinse out. I was always aware that someone in the office would get grossed out by the bottles sitting by the sink (they never had milk in them, and were always rinsed) but sometimes I would try to make one trip since my office was far away from the lunch lounge and while no one was around, I'd dash to the bathroom--so perhaps for 1 or 2 minutes the bottles were left sitting by the kitchen sink and microwave. This bothered people apparently, because she said several people came to her about it. Towards the end of my pumping, I started to rinse the bottles in the bathroom sink, but there is a very small sink with nothing else--no place to even set a bottle down without it falling off the sink, so when I did that I would have to rinse them out and return to my office with them wet, they were never dry.
I guess it is unreasonable to expect co-workers to be okay with seeing these bottles sitting in the lounge area, and I should be more discrete, but the fact that some of these employees have gone to my supervisor before in an undermining fashion, it just kind of makes me angry. I suppose I should be greatful that they have been so supportive already. In fact, no one complained (that I know of) of my baby crying (which wasn't very often).
I don't want to get all bent out of shape, but I sort of am right now. I felt that I did my best, and its obvious to me that people still have a lot of aversions to bfing. I think its weird. One thing is for sure, that glass door is going to be closed off to everyone and I'm going to be able to throw my lunch in the microwave, go to the bathroom and clean out my pump at the same time, for fear that someone might encounter my pump sitting there for a few minutes while I'm in the bathroom. Thoughts?
Minaret
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