Submission to authority (GD from a Biblical point of view) - Page 7

[AngelBee]

Still really working through this :

[holyhelianthus]

BUMPING because this is just too good of a thread to let go.

Thank you, AngelBee, for starting up this thread! This is exactly what I have been thinking of in regards to CL. Like thismama I feel sometimes GD turns into "no consequences" and there are consequences in life and I feel my duty as a parent is to help my children to understand that.

LTB~ I have to disagree with you on kid acting out because they aren't feeling loved or it being rooted in their feelings. That, of course, can be the case but little children act out a lot of the time to test their boundaries (well, and because they don't realize it/understand what they are doing). DH and I always keep this in mind- or at least try Little children are all about cause and effect "if I do this what will happen?"

That said hopefully this convo will take up again!

[AngelBee]

Originally Posted by magstphil

That said hopefully this convo will take up again!

I'd be in

[Bluegoat]

I hadn't seen this thread before but I'll but in with a thought I had.

If we are talking about biblical parenting, what about this issue
[QUOTE=magstphil;13087821
I have to disagree with you on kid acting out because they aren't feeling loved or it being rooted in their feelings.
[/QUOTE]

There have been a few comments on this subject, to the issue of whether kids misbehave essentially because they feel unloved.

It seems to me that Christianity suggests that this is not always the case. What about the fall? Whether you take it figurativly or literally, I don't think Adam and Eve sinned because they felt unloved. It seemed to have more to do with pride or being self-centred.

Wouldn't that also be true of kids in some cases, or that it is an element in many cases? That they misbehave because they are being selfish or want to fufil their own desires and don't care if it's at someone else's expense?

[AngelBee]

Originally Posted by Bluegoat

I hadn't seen this thread before but I'll but in with a thought I had.

If we are talking about biblical parenting, what about this issue


There have been a few comments on this subject, to the issue of whether kids misbehave essentially because they feel unloved.

It seems to me that Christianity suggests that this is not always the case. What about the fall? Whether you take it figurativly or literally, I don't think Adam and Eve sinned because they felt unloved. It seemed to have more to do with pride or being self-centred.

Wouldn't that also be true of kids in some cases, or that it is an element in many cases? That they misbehave because they are being selfish or want to fufil their own desires and don't care if it's at someone else's expense?

I totally agree with this!

I do wrong because is FEELS good. Like yelling at dh. Or swearing. : Horrible, but true. I do not do it to get attention.

Why would it be different for my children?

I do think lack or temperary loss of connection can cause misbehavior, but sometimes they just want to use mamas lipstick. Period. They are not feeling unloved. They have a need and do not care if they step on someone else to fulfill it.

[holyhelianthus]

Yes, BlueGoat, I agree that that can be the case with any human being and that it's important to address that with our children. Though I do not view The Fall the same way. The way my religious beliefs view The Fall is actually a prime example of good parenting, IMO. But that's another convo, isn't it?

Point being yes I agree and also on a tangent we need to find prime examples in the scriptures for ourselves and families to follow.

[phathui5]

I don't see God ever actively imposing consequences as a tool to help people become disciplined or more righteous.

In the New Testament, I see Christ taking the consequences that were meant for us.

In the Old Testament, I see Him cast Adam and Eve out of the garden, kill everyone with a flood, burn Sodom to the ground, threaten to destroy Ninevah if they didn't repent and follow Him...

Imposed consequences, yeah? I think they're there.

[phathui5]

Originally Posted by transformed

I wonder if she is old enough to move out of her 5 point system into a regular booster. the 5 point thing is annoying me anyways.

My 5.5 yr old doesnt get upset at the thought of people getting hurt. ever.

If she's unbuckling the harness, I'd say she's not mature enough for a regular booster.

[One_Girl]

Originally Posted by AngelBee

I totally agree with this!

I do wrong because is FEELS good. Like yelling at dh. Or swearing. : Horrible, but true. I do not do it to get attention.

Why would it be different for my children?

I do think lack or temperary loss of connection can cause misbehavior, but sometimes they just want to use mamas lipstick. Period. They are not feeling unloved. They have a need and do not care if they step on someone else to fulfill it.

Or they are at a developmental stage where they aren't able to think about other people. They may also still be very impulsive because the area of the brain that controls impulsive behavior doesn't develop until you are nearing adulthood. God made people that way and I think if it is wrong to expect kids to be something other than what God made them by saying that they are doing things they shouldn't and not caring about who it affects.

And isn't an obssession about always being listened to a bit selfish in itself. I can't tell you how many times I have just wanted dd to do something quickly so we could do what I wanted to yet again and she dragged her feet. I could use the bible as a fall back and claim that she has to do everything I tell her to no matter how she feels about it or I could try to figure out what her need is in the moment and how to help her also get her needs met. Kids react for many reasons and fun is only one of them, they also get overtired, worn out with constant trips, hungry, sore from sitting a lot, they have a hard time waking up and may just drag fromt that. I think it is more useful to look at how to set my dd up for success than it is to use the something like the bible (or mainstream expectations of children in my case since I don't like religion) as an excuse for abusing my authority.