An annoyance, a funny, and a little self-doubt

[annettemarie]

I won't go into the whole story but Michael was homeschooled, put in public school in the middle of first grade, and brought back home in the middle of third. In the midst of it all, we found out he has an anxiety disorder and is crazy smart. He's also very musical, and we take advantage of PA homeschool law by sending him to the public school for orchestra (our district has one of the best strings programs in the nation) and it's worked out really well for us.

Today I went to school for his concert/assembly because I can't be there tonight. I was shooting the breeze after with one of the music teachers who was gone last year, and missed us pulling Michael out. My husband and I were both music majors, and we really do think the music staff is the salt of the earth.

We were joking around about Michael and she asked if he was still advanced with reading (not her exact words) and I said, yes, it was one of the things we loved about homeschooling.

Annoyance
So this Random Dude in a Suit standing next to her says "What's he doing for math?" And I was all "Huh? Hello, Random Dude in a Suit. We use Oxford-Sadlier's Progress in Mathematics." And he was all, "But where is he?" And I said, "He's right where he should be. " And I admit, I babbled a bit about math not being my strong suit, and we're all content to just stay the course.

And the random dude in a suit, who is apparently something with the music department and the gifted department was trying to sell me some load of crap about how I shouldn't hold him back in math, and kids who are gifted in music are also gifted in math, and how if he was in public school, he could challenge himself and work ahead.

Which is complete bull-pucky. Michael was in school. The gifted program was completely unrelated to anything, they weren't allowed to work ahead more than two levels, and it sucked the joy of learning out of him.

Funny Number One
So Michael hears all this and says, "Um.. excuse me. You're in charge of the gifted program? My friend Lucas told me Mrs. C. handed out a paper that listed all the things that would go wrong if Obama was elected. Isn't that illegal?" To which Random Dude in a Suit said "Sputter, sputter, I'd have to see the paper."

Funny Number Two
Then in the car, Michael says, "Hark who's talking (yes, he actually said "hark", )-- that guy's a public school administrator."

Which was rude, but funny.

Self-Doubt
But now I'm all stressed out, because that's what I do. What if Random Dude in a Suit is right and I'm not challenging him enough? I mean, I don't think Michael wants to be challenged in math, and we're reading high school books and he's advanced in pretty much everything but math and handwriting, for all that it matters, but I'm stressed.

I also always get worried when I'm "on the radar" in any way.

I know I shouldn't have engaged. I should have just said, "We're doing great, thanks."

[Lillian J]

I need to run out the door on errands, but I just had to vent a little in regard to the random dude in a suit. People don't need to be "challenged" in order to learn well, to be inspired, and to learn what they need when they need it. That may be some people's personal need, for whatever reason, but it's not a universal rule - I just get so sick of hearing it. Okay, back on the run... - Lillian

[Aubergine68]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

Funny Number One
So Michael hears all this and says, "Um.. excuse me. You're in charge of the gifted program? My friend Lucas told me Mrs. C. handed out a paper that listed all the things that would go wrong if Obama was elected. Isn't that illegal?" To which Random Dude in a Suit said "Sputter, sputter, I'd have to see the paper."

Funny Number Two
Then in the car, Michael says, "Hark who's talking (yes, he actually said "hark", )-- that guy's a public school administrator."

Your Michael totally rocks! He sounds like a wonderful kid. I wouldn't worry about him.

[splendid]

Never have some random guy (or gal) make you question yourself when it comes to your children and their education.

That's all I got on this cool December night.

[sapphire_chan]

As long as M. doesn't decide not to do some math thing he's interested in because he wants to spite RGWaS it's fine.

Barring a learning disability, the skills needed before learning stuff like algebra are picked up so easily just by living that M'll have no problems getting it if and when he decides to move on in math.

ETA: and he sounds more than capable of pushing the math pace if that's what he feels like. I don't think you're holding him back.

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by Lillian J

I need to run out the door on errands, but I just had to vent a little in regard to the random dude in a suit. People don't need to be "challenged" in order to learn well, to be inspired, and to learn what they need when they need it. That may be some people's personal need, for whatever reason, but it's not a universal rule - I just get so sick of hearing it. Okay, back on the run... - Lillian

Thanks. That's actually a really good point. One of the reasons we're homeschooling is we wanted to the freedom for our kids to move at their own pace. And I'll have to remember the challenged vs. inspired bit.

Originally Posted by Aubergine68

Your Michael totally rocks! He sounds like a wonderful kid. I wouldn't worry about him.

He is pretty stinking awesome.

Originally Posted by splendid

Never have some random guy (or gal) make you question yourself when it comes to your children and their education.

That's all I got on this cool December night.

You are wise, and make a good point. I should have bean dipped him.

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

As long as M. doesn't decide not to do some math thing he's interested in because he wants to spite RGWaS it's fine.

Barring a learning disability, the skills needed before learning stuff like algebra are picked up so easily just by living that M'll have no problems getting it if and when he decides to move on in math.

ETA: and he sounds more than capable of pushing the math pace if that's what he feels like. I don't think you're holding him back.

We actually had a long talk and I asked him if he wanted to push ahead a bit in math. He said (and I quote) "Nope. Math is mad hard. There's like, a billion different numbers and only one of them is ever the answer."

[Lisalucy]

I hesitate to reply -- I tend to be a thread killer -- but...

I agree with Lillian. My children have never been unclear about what they are interested in and tend to "challenge" themselves. I think one of the reasons traditional schooling fails with bright students is that the educators are the ones setting the goals and do not allow students to drop something and move on or in another direction. Gifted programs can be more of the same.

Wildridge Software has something called Math & Music which may interest you/your ds at some point. I have no personal experience with it but it is well reviewed. It would be enrichment, not really just accelerating in traditional math (I think). Or maybe not your ds's cup of tea at all. Just saying, gifted programs don't have a monopoly.

--LL

[frogguruami]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

"Nope. Math is mad hard. There's like, a billion different numbers and only one of them is ever the answer."

Oh my word. May I steal his quote!!!!!??????

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by frogguruami

Oh my word. May I steal his quote!!!!!??????

Sure. An hour later I was all, "Wait a minute-- did you just say mad hard?!?!"

And Lisalucy, you're not a threadkiller! I'll check out that math and music deal. As far as gifted programs, Michael was in one, and it was a giant waste of time. They didn't get to pursue their own interests at all. Even their big cumulative project was chosen by the teacher--in my own program growing up we were given much more free reign--and while there was supposed to be a chance for accelerated learning in the classroom, they weren't allowed more than two levels ahead of the rest of the class. He couldn't even choose what library books he wanted. They were all marked with levels on the spine and he could only choose from certain sections.

I really should have just bean-dipped the dude. My New Year's Resolution is to no longer take to heart unsolicited advice from Random Dudes in Suits.

[Arduinna]

at the funnies and well I won't post what I'm thinking about how to handle random dude.

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

We actually had a long talk and I asked him if he wanted to push ahead a bit in math. He said (and I quote) "Nope. Math is mad hard. There's like, a billion different numbers and only one of them is ever the answer."

Cute ... But it instantly brought to mind the geometry proofs I used to love so much, and part of the fun was in finding the different routes you can take - all legitimate, but some shorter and some longer... He'll have a lot more fun with math some day. Lillian

[MyLittleWonders]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

We actually had a long talk and I asked him if he wanted to push ahead a bit in math. He said (and I quote) "Nope. Math is mad hard. There's like, a billion different numbers and only one of them is ever the answer."

First of all, yes, completely ignore Random Dudes in Suits; they have no blasted idea of what they speak. I think they speak just to hear themselves speak.

Secondly, I had to send Michael's quote to my dh, the high school math teacher. I am sure most of his students would agree with Michael, though I agree with Lillian that he might start enjoying math as he gets older. My niece (8th grade) the other day said how much she was enjoying finding equations of lines in Algebra because it was like solving puzzles. I was like, "Ok, girl, whatever floats your boat there!" (Actually, I loved math and totally get what she was saying, but it was not something I was expecting her to say.)

[quietplease]

In my experience, both as a public school teacher before I had kids and as a parent of a gifted kid who attended public school for 2 years before we pulled him out, administrators FREQUENTLY do not know what they are talking about. I would pass that guy the bean dip and forget about him.

[a(TM)?Star]

Future HS'er here.............I hope that my kids turn out as wonderful as Michael.

[Calidris]

I think Random Dude was confusing the ways challenge is used. There is the challenge that is hard and not fun and serves little purpose. You know, like tidying the house or something, and there is the challenge that makes you think and pushes you to achieve. Probably like the orchestra concert.

Math and music are tied, but not necessarily 3rd grade math, you know. Maybe when he reaches some ridiculously abstract aspect of math things will suddenly drop into place for him, but working a grade ahead or something is just going to be the housecleaning sorta challenge. And it isn't like school is going to let him do college level calculus (or whatever it is music relates to) in 4th grade.

If you haven't though, you should let him read the other Douglas Adams books, one of them goes on at length about music and computers and "math" (the kind of math that relates to music). I can't remember which now, not the hitchhiker series. So probably the Long Dark Teatime of the Soul.

Oh and I always love Michael funnies

[Calidris]

no it's actually Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency.

[`guest`]

My son also has an interesting mind, genius level. he is in school, over the yrs I have learned to talk to the teacher and tell them that my child is different. Our first grade teacher was the one who really gave me confidence about his unique ness. She said that every child grows in diff areas at diff times and levels. My son also has not the best handwriting...once you are secure in your son and his own being and way in the world, you won't let this stuff get to you.
Each child is unique and wonderful in their own way. SOme are MORE unique and less able to fit in a box. As time goes on, I am more grateful that my son is this way and excited to see how he expresses this as time goes on...

[annettemarie]

I found out today that Random Dude in a Suit is pretty much regarded around these parts as a pompous UAV, so I feel a little better.

[greenrosemom4]

Originally Posted by Lillian J

I need to run out the door on errands, but I just had to vent a little in regard to the random dude in a suit. People don't need to be "challenged" in order to learn well, to be inspired, and to learn what they need when they need it. That may be some people's personal need, for whatever reason, but it's not a universal rule - I just get so sick of hearing it. Okay, back on the run... - Lillian

Amen! I stink at math. I quit taking math after geometry in highschool. I almost failed algebra. So needless to say, my DDs math education was less than steller. When she decided she wanted to go to college for computer science, she took it upon herself to learn the math. She graduates college in 3 months and she will have a degree in computer science with a minor in math.

Did my less than steller job in math education hold her back? Maybe...maybe not. She might have gotten a B or A in differential equations instead of a C. But in the grand sceme of life I don't think it made much of a difference.

Terri