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We don't accept children

post #1 of 288
12/19/08 at 12:56pm
Thread Starter 
I am sorry if my words seem somehow hard. While I am writing this I am still mad as hell (see what I am saying?)

My husband is currently deployed to Afghanistan and before that he was in training 6 months and then we were living at different places as well. The point is, we have not seen each other often since we are married. But we managed to have a baby together :-)

Anyway, now that he will come home soon I thought a nice surprise for him would be to take a long weekend off and go to Memphis. My husband is a big Elvis fan. Of course we would want to take our 15 months old babyman with us.

Now I was trying to find some nicelooking bed and breakfast or guesthouses. I found one, too. I wrote them and you know what? They wrote us

"We would love to have you as our guests. However, we do not accept children!"

Not accept children? Where are we? Not accept...like we do not accept VISA or what? They are not things. They are humans, too. Maybe even better humans than most adults. And they are a part of a family as well. They could have at least said that they do not want children in their house. Still hard to understand for me, but to say we do not ACCEPT them. ARRRRR!

I wrote them back asking if that was some sort of bad joke and they got really mad at me for this remark .

"It is not unusual for small guesthouses to not accept children!"

Well, now I know, too. But it should!

Even if I would not be a mom I would NEVER EVER spend my money or time in a place where they do not respect children as much as adults. Everybody should be treated the same!

Okay, I am still mad! You have probably noticed.

On the website of this guesthouse it did not say by the way that they do not accept children. That makes me really really mad! I took some time to ask them a nice email. I could have done something better with my time. And even worse, if I would not be a mommy yet, I might have spend my time and money there not even knowing that they do not show children the respect they deserve.

O well. I am still mad but I feel a bit better now that I have told you girls. So thank you for letting me get this out of my system!

Merry Christmas to all fo you !
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post #2 of 288
12/19/08 at 1:02pm
hugs sorry they were a bit rude in their replies... most people think bed and breakfast as a couples retreat... so i would have totally assumed kids werent allowed..
post #3 of 288
12/19/08 at 1:08pm
Yes, we found this out years ago ... we used to go to them pre-ds ... when we tried to look for one afterwards ... no luck.

you will find almost all of them are not child friendly.

We learned to like hotels
post #4 of 288
12/19/08 at 1:08pm
That's really common for B&Bs, but they could have been nicer about it.
post #5 of 288
12/19/08 at 1:09pm
It is frustrating, especially because you have been seperated!

We ran into the same problem when planning a vacation to the Eastern Shore of Maryland. To add insult, nearly everyplace allowed dogs but not kids!

I called so many places, at least 15 and got the same response, no kids. ok, thanks anyway.

What was interesting was the lectures and unsolicited ass-vice the inn keepers gave me.

Along the lines of "you should be getting a sitter. don't you think your husband would prefer to be alone? why would you want to bring your kid along?" Unbelievalbe! It was like they were personally offended at the thought of parents vacationing with their children.

I hope you can find a family friendly place.
post #6 of 288
12/19/08 at 1:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by asianyoushi View Post
hugs sorry they were a bit rude in their replies... most people think bed and breakfast as a couples retreat... so i would have totally assumed kids werent allowed..
: for the rudeness they treated you with.

Most bed and breakfast places are considered couple resorts and do not allow children on the premises. They gear their business to couples.

They could have been a little bit professional and polite though.
post #7 of 288
12/19/08 at 1:15pm
Thread Starter 
O well. I guess I have not been in the States long enough yet to be used to that. I thought they all would allow children.

I mean, okay, it is their house and they can allow who they want, but then they should have to state that BIG on their homepage so you do not even bother to write them. And of course because like I said I would never ever want to spend my money on places like this.

And for my husband... He did not see Morvryn in the whole 1st year. He would not want to spend time without him. He knows I would never do that anyway. I could not enjoy time away from my son. That would be a nightmare!

I just hope we can find something nice now though. It is sooo hard. I did not think it would get so hard. They should have those guesthouses listed in different categories so you know right away. Family friendly and children-haters . Sorry, had to say it!
post #8 of 288
12/19/08 at 1:17pm
I also have discovered that many B&Bs don't allow children, so I'm not too surprised. Have you tried googling for "child-friendly bed and breakfast"?
post #9 of 288
12/19/08 at 1:23pm
they should put it on their website. when dh's cousin got married last summer in a really quickly planned ceremony on an island, I had a HELL of a time finding a b&b that allowed a child. BUT...when I did find them, they were great! they gave us a private cottage at the same rate as the cheap room we originally booked and we ended up staying longer than planned. so just hang in there.

personally, I do understand the need for adults only accomodations. I love my child, but I don't always love everyone else's kids, and not all parents seem to understand that...
post #10 of 288
12/19/08 at 1:44pm
We have found some B&B's that allow children, but most are certainly not kid places. They are often decorated with antiques and breakables. They also are not particularly sound-proof, since they are just houses. As much as I love my children, I would not want to hear anybody else's kids if I were on a romantic B&B getaway with my husband, yk?

We found a great house to rent for a weekend in Memphis by searching on VRBO.com.
post #11 of 288
12/19/08 at 1:53pm
Honestly, I don't think their reply was rude, just to the point.

I understand your frustration, but I completely understand the policy. Like others said, I would hate to be on a romantic getaway and hear screaming kids next to us...that's the kind of place you often pick for a romantic getaway because of the very fact that they usually do not accept children.

I have also been to adult-only resorts, and it is a nice break to be able to sit around a pool without kids running around. I love kids, but sometimes adult time is much appreciated.

And again, many b&b have antiques, collectables, breakables, fancy furniture, so even if your kids are perfect and wouldn't touch any of those things, I can definitely see that many of those places are not kid-friendly.
post #12 of 288
12/19/08 at 2:11pm
A lot of B&B's don't. We went to NS with my first when he was about 8 months. We love B&Bs and took him with us. We did find two that allowed children, one being our favourite, which was great. But really in the end, they weren't really set up for kids. I don't expect a B&B to be kid friendly, unless they actually have kids. It's a lot of extra stuff and gear for them to make it kid friendly, and considering it's often a mom and pop type business, I'm willing to cut them a little slack. One of my favourite places to stay now is at a Delta hotel which has a family suite, with a small kitchen, lots of space and a separate bedroom so I can put the kids down and we can relax in the living space. Not quite the B&B feel, but a lot easier on me.
post #13 of 288
12/19/08 at 2:18pm
I'd search for a condo or something. B&B's really aren't kid friendly at all. Dh and I have stayed at a few both pre and post kids, and none were set up for kids.
post #14 of 288
12/19/08 at 2:18pm
I didn't mean it, just meant I'd be temped to ask in the moment when I was angry with them, as in seeing it as just another form of discrimination.
post #15 of 288
12/19/08 at 2:20pm
op-

are you from Europe? i think that maybe you are used to the concept of B&B in a more European context?

i know in England it's more family oriented and less expensive to stay in a B&B. it used to be anyway...

in America B&Bs are considered chi chi foo foo expensive romantic couples getaway places.

shame though 'cause i think it's nicer the other way.

i mean who wants to get busy with the dh when right next door is the host and hostess!!?? that's just weird.

sorry they were not accepting of kids. i think it's just a cultural difference though.

i've always thought it would be nice to have a real B&B where i live. one where there is a big main room with books and puzzles and musical instruments and a fireplace and bikes to take to the beach and kids are welcome and it's a reasonably priced family friendly alternative to a boring hotel. hmmmm. maybe in my next career...
post #16 of 288
12/19/08 at 2:20pm
I can understand your frustration, and they could have been more polite, but it doesn't mean they are child-haters.

Some businesses just aren't geared towards kids. Others are. And there's nothing wrong with that.
post #17 of 288
12/19/08 at 2:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by frontierpsych View Post
I didn't mean it, just meant I'd be temped to ask in the moment when I was angry with them, as in seeing it as just another form of discrimination.
See... I just don't see it as discrimination. The business is geared for couples on romantic getaways without kids. I just don't think EVERYTHING must be child-friendly.
post #18 of 288
12/19/08 at 2:23pm
Really weird. We've stayed in 3 different B&B's and every one welcomed our kids.

I can see why they wouldn't, but they could have been a touch more polite.

Sorry OP!
post #19 of 288
12/19/08 at 2:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by bri276 View Post

personally, I do understand the need for adults only accomodations. I love my child, but I don't always love everyone else's kids, and not all parents seem to understand that...
ITA...and I'll leave it at that to avoid to many flames
post #20 of 288
12/19/08 at 2:29pm
I don't see anything wrong with their policy or with their response.

And seriously? We could really do without equating racism with people preferring grown up time at their b&b's.
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