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We don't accept children - Page 10

post #181 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
I don't think anyone is arguing that places should all CATER to children or be child-friendly. I like lots of places that are not kid friendly (though strangely, I suppose, my kids love them, too). I simply disagree with businesses that REFUSE children on the grounds that they are children.

My kids go to get their nails done at a spa with my mom, they enjoy a fancy meal at a very-kid-unfriendly restaurant on New Year's Day every year, they come to all kinds of movies with their dad and I (and enjoy them), etc. I don't expect or even want any of those places to be kid-friendly, with cookies or candy or whatever else kids are supposed to appreciate. I just don't want them to turn my well-behaved children away simply because they haven't reached some arbitrary birthday yet.



And that can be your decision to make, as your kids' parent. It would likely be mine as well . . . but I do think that decision belongs in the hands of parents, not the law.

Dar and Thismama, I am really sorry to hear about the experiences your kids had recently.

Jessy,

The B &B operator doesn’t know you from a bar of soap why should they take your word for it that your kids are going to behave? Parents could lie and say their kids are well behaved just so they could obtain the accommodation and when they get there the kids could run riot and disturb all the other guests or they could be in an unfamiliar setting get wound up and misbehave. It’s their property they can run it as they see fit

There are plenty of other places that accommodate kids, not every place has to accommodate kids.

I have seven kids at home and there are times when my husband and I just want to get away and be child free which is when B & B’s are fantastic to catch up some sleep and some special time alone.

Here in Australia we have resorts, camping and caravan parks that cater especially for families with playground equipment, pools, water parks, games rooms and kids clubs to keep the kids entertained.
post #182 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by kmeyrick View Post
Jessy, would you like someone to decide who's kids can come and which ones can't based on that favoritism? Would you like someone else to define "well behaved?"
I think "well-behaved" depends on the environment. When I take my kids to a fancy restaurant, I expect them to create no more of a disturbance than the average adult there . . . using quiet voices, staying in their seats (or on my lap when they were smaller), etc. Same when we go to the movies, or the theater.

I think businesses should set expectations for behavior . . . but they shouldn't assume that certain people are unable to comply simply because they're young.

baltic_ballet:
Quote:
The B &B operator doesn’t know you from a bar of soap why should they take your word for it that your kids are going to behave? Parents could lie and say their kids are well behaved just so they could obtain the accommodation and when they get there the kids could run riot and disturb all the other guests or they could be in an unfamiliar setting get wound up and misbehave. It’s their property they can run it as they see fit
I don't expect anyone to take my word for it, and they are welcome to ask my kids and I to leave if they don't like our behavior. But as another poster said, I voice my opinion with my wallet, and I'm not spending money at a place the rejects my children for being young.
post #183 of 288
Quote:
I don't expect anyone to take my word for it, and they are welcome to ask my kids and I to leave if they don't like our behavior. But as another poster said, I voice my opinion with my wallet, and I'm not spending money at a place the rejects my children for being young.
This makes sense but what I'm getting the vibe from some of the posts is a place should never have a no child policy in the first place. I disagree with this as this point in our lifes traveling overnigth without our DD would not be an option we would choose we'd not be looking into places intended for "couples only" but I wouldn't stage a protest for the B&B across the street that was.

Deanna
post #184 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by octobermom View Post
This makes sense but what I'm getting the vibe from some of the posts is a place should never have a no child policy in the first place. I disagree with this as this point in our lifes traveling overnigth without our DD would not be an option we would choose we'd not be looking into places intended for "couples only" but I wouldn't stage a protest for the B&B across the street that was.

Deanna

Correct me if I am wrong Jessy, but I got the vibe from your posts that you think that no place should ever have a no child policy?

Which I dissagree with as there are some places that are not suitable for children.

Sorry I dont mean to pick on you Jessy.
post #185 of 288
Quote:
I think businesses should set expectations for behavior . . . but they shouldn't assume that certain people are unable to comply simply because they're young.
sometimes time and experiece has told them. My BIL got married this past summer my DH I and my DD traveled to the wedding and we along with another sister to the groom and the best mans family and the bride and her parents stayed in a rented out victorian house. This place is ussually not open to kids but the family rented out the entire hme for the wedding duration so we weren't risking disturbing anyone but us. It was a large beautiful home and not overly filled with antiques or other breakables (or they'd been removed in anticipation) but along with the charm of an older place were things like squeeky floors open windows with no screens heaters and vents with no guards heavy doors that locked from one side requring keys to open.. During our stay we had several kids my 5 year old another baby (6 months or so) another 2 year old and for much of the time my twin nieces who were staying at another place but were at the house much of the time. There was never one single tiny incident of misbehavior from my child and I can't recall it from the others.. but the kids played polietly in the rooms upstairs and every tiny foot step resounded through the entire home the baby fussed if he was hungry or needed to be changed and all the other normal for infants to fuss things. IT happended at various hours expected nothing horrid but yes it was very noticeble. It was a lovely hotel stay because it felt very much like being in a home with all the noise and such of a home but thats exactly what many people are looking to avoid they don't want the sounds of pattering feet and kids asking for another bedtime story or a baby fussing at 2am to be fed and I can very much understand while someone has decided that they want there establishment for adults only.

Deanna
post #186 of 288
I've seen this pre-kid in B&Bs and was surprised by it then. I don't get this policy, and I agree they should be more polite and even apologetic about it.

I probably wouldn't take my 5,3, and 1 year old to one (and yes some would, hence the policy) but one child, sure. I would have taken my oldest when he was younger. He slept with us, ate on our lap in places with no highchair, was tended to when he cried so he stopped. No big deal. It just seems like they're ASSUMING that all kids are going to be loud and scream and need massive gear and what not, and they don't always.

I also don't think of them as couples getaways at all, but rather just cozy alternatives to hotels.
post #187 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hazelnut View Post
I've seen this pre-kid in B&Bs and was surprised by it then. I don't get this policy, and I agree they should be more polite and even apologetic about it.

I probably wouldn't take my 5,3, and 1 year old to one (and yes some would, hence the policy) but one child, sure. I would have taken my oldest when he was younger. He slept with us, ate on our lap in places with no highchair, was tended to when he cried so he stopped. No big deal. It just seems like they're ASSUMING that all kids are going to be loud and scream and need massive gear and what not, and they don't always.

I also don't think of them as couples getaways at all, but rather just cozy alternatives to hotels.
(bolding mine)

But the fact is that babies do cry. And while I believe you tended to your ds quickly so he didn't cry long, he still did cry. And I'm sure others noticed. It's not JUST about the huge temper tantrums and screaming fits and hours of crying. It's the little things that parent's tend to just forget about as a part of parenting. To someone looking to get away from kids for a weekend or however long, I doubt they want to hear a baby fuss for even a minute.

That's why there are kid free places to vacation. Not just because kids are going to be loud and scream, but because they are kids and they will make noise and sometimes a person just wants to be away from it.
post #188 of 288
You know I almost edited it again b/c I didn't want to come off sounding like my child was perfect b/c I tended to him with my brilliant AP habits. He was actually a horrible sleeper, but I just recall my dad commenting on sleepovers there that he never heard him.

Yeah, I agree, kids do cry. They fuss. They tantrum sometimes, and I am the first to say that this is normal to some extent even when we are doing all we can for them. But I still don't feel that kids should therefore be not allowed in places. Kids are part of society. Sure you could cross a line, you could be inconsiderate. Many people are (as are they without kids). I don't take my kids to nice restaurants, and I'm very self-conscious about their disturbing people in public. And yet I would really resent not even being able to make that judgment call myself about whether or not we could go somewhere. And with overnight accomodations? I just don't see B&Bs as a Sandals resort exactly. :
post #189 of 288
Quote:
And that can be your decision to make, as your kids' parent. It would likely be mine as well . . . but I do think that decision belongs in the hands of parents, not the law.
No way. I'm Libertarian. I want the government to leave me alone. But I've both visited strip clubs when my sister worked there and done childcare for strippers and escorts. They are not places for children.
post #190 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tracy View Post
i know it stings when we hear "No Kids"

but I do understand it on many levels.
That's how I feel.

It sometimes leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but I've never had a personal issue with establishments or events having adult only policies.

My hubby and I often frequent B&Bs for a get away, and I personally would not be happy to spend $$$ to see or hear anyone's kid.

Caveat - we pick child free places to attend. And I think they should be up front about it to save families travelling with kids the time and aggravation.
post #191 of 288
Quote:
But the fact is that babies do cry. And while I believe you tended to your ds quickly so he didn't cry long, he still did cry. And I'm sure others noticed. It's not JUST about the huge temper tantrums and screaming fits and hours of crying. It's the little things that parent's tend to just forget about as a part of parenting. To someone looking to get away from kids for a weekend or however long, I doubt they want to hear a baby fuss for even a minute.
exactly, I know during the wedding I heard the baby cry each night jsut a few seconds or a minute or so I could also clearly tell the parents were attending and there was little fussing but the mommy instinct in me meant I was wide awake and alert with each cry. The brides parents noticed I think more because they've been without kids long enough there not used to such sounds again no one seems to be rude or suggest the baby was overly bothersome but I can see how some looking for a quiet getaway would be "bothered" by simple cries.

Deanna
post #192 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hazelnut View Post
You know I almost edited it again b/c I didn't want to come off sounding like my child was perfect b/c I tended to him with my brilliant AP habits. He was actually a horrible sleeper, but I just recall my dad commenting on sleepovers there that he never heard him.

Yeah, I agree, kids do cry. They fuss. They tantrum sometimes, and I am the first to say that this is normal to some extent even when we are doing all we can for them. But I still don't feel that kids should therefore be not allowed in places. Kids are part of society. Sure you could cross a line, you could be inconsiderate. Many people are (as are they without kids). I don't take my kids to nice restaurants, and I'm very self-conscious about their disturbing people in public. And yet I would really resent not even being able to make that judgment call myself about whether or not we could go somewhere. And with overnight accomodations? I just don't see B&Bs as a Sandals resort exactly. :
some B&B are quite pricy we payed almost $260 for the one DH and I stayed in on our wedding night..(roms rated from around $165-$400 normally) the Victorian house we stayed in for the wedding ran like $950 or so each night (to rent the entire home 6 bedrooms rooms) and they got a "deal".

Deanna
post #193 of 288
Quote:
And yet I would really resent not even being able to make that judgment call myself about whether or not we could go somewhere.
And I feel the establishment that exists purely as a quiet get away for couples has a right to make a judgment call of there own to weather or not they want children. We have the right to find a diffrent place to stay.

Deanna
post #194 of 288
Yep. And I would never go to a place like that and spend my money if I were going without my kids. I do go to restaurants and occasionally grown up movies with my dh and manage to never be disturbed by children, despite the lack of a ban of them at the front door.
post #195 of 288
My husband and I have gone to bed and breakfasts many times pre-child.

I totally get the no children thing! Since I knew that most don't take children, I called ahead to some when we were planning a trip.
My son was 6 mo. old and we finally found one that was happy to take us with him. We had gone through some sort of booking agency but I did speak with the owner as well to be sure they didn't object to our child.
When I called to confirm, the owner said we had to bring our pack and play. I said, "We are traveling across the country and we're not bringing a pack and play. He sleeps with us."

She proceeded to lecture me about how dangerous that was and refused to let us stay there because of that! Then she wouldn't let me out of the reservation--too close to the arrival time.

So I called the agency and let it rip. I told them I don't need any lectures on my parenting style and if this was their "issue" they should have cleared it up when I made the reservation. They said they would still charge my credit card and I said, "Well you go ahead. And I will dispute it on the grounds that they refused service to me."

It never showed up on the credit card, but it sure made my blood boil;0
post #196 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by PJsmomma View Post
My husband and I have gone to bed and breakfasts many times pre-child.

I totally get the no children thing! Since I knew that most don't take children, I called ahead to some when we were planning a trip.
My son was 6 mo. old and we finally found one that was happy to take us with him. We had gone through some sort of booking agency but I did speak with the owner as well to be sure they didn't object to our child.
When I called to confirm, the owner said we had to bring our pack and play. I said, "We are traveling across the country and we're not bringing a pack and play. He sleeps with us."

She proceeded to lecture me about how dangerous that was and refused to let us stay there because of that! Then she wouldn't let me out of the reservation--too close to the arrival time.

So I called the agency and let it rip. I told them I don't need any lectures on my parenting style and if this was their "issue" they should have cleared it up when I made the reservation. They said they would still charge my credit card and I said, "Well you go ahead. And I will dispute it on the grounds that they refused service to me."

It never showed up on the credit card, but it sure made my blood boil;0
people have boundary issues!!!
post #197 of 288
I'm impressed. Actually I probably would have brought the pack n play and not used it because I'm like that, but I am impressed.
post #198 of 288
I completely understand this policy.. just because we want our children with us (I wouldnt go somewhere without mine) doesnt mean that there arent places that children dont need to be.. my idea of a b&b is a quiet cozy place to relax, and before I had ds, I wouldnt have appreciated a baby crying through, or a toddler playing/running around a romantic dinner.. etc... we actually just ran into this while trying to book a b&b, but the b&b had 2 buildings one child friendly one not..

but dont expect that because you want children there that everyone else would too
post #199 of 288
Could the pack-n-play thing have been worries about liability? (since there were no cribs on site?)
post #200 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
I don't expect anyone to take my word for it, and they are welcome to ask my kids and I to leave if they don't like our behavior. But as another poster said, I voice my opinion with my wallet, and I'm not spending money at a place the rejects my children for being young.
So you expect the business to take your word for it and then kick you out, after the kids have disturbed all the other customers or broken something? And I don't think it's realistic to expect children to behave like adults for an extended period of time. My mom took my sister to me to the Russian Tea Room when we were kids with a friend. We were like little old ladies. But that was only for about an hour. And not at night when we were tired. Had it been longer or later it probably would have been a different story.

And don't tell me "But my kids are different. They're super-duper-wuper." Because the vast majority of kids are kids and they have limits. And the bottom line is, some people just don't want to be around kids. Horrifying, I know, but it's true. Believe it or not, some of these people are parents themselves. And some businesses turn a profit by catering to that.
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