We don't accept children - Page 2

[LionTigerBear]

I don't think they were rude, and I wouldn't have a probelm with it. And I respect and love my kids VERY much and do treat them as equals, absolutely. But they are not little adults-- they do break things and they can be quite loud! Disruptive and destructive, God bless them! So, that's why I agree with the followign posts:

Originally Posted by HomeBirthMommy

They are often decorated with antiques and breakables. They also are not particularly sound-proof, since they are just houses. As much as I love my children, I would not want to hear anybody else's kids if I were on a romantic B&B getaway with my husband, yk?

:

Originally Posted by FeminineFigure

Honestly, I don't think their reply was rude, just to the point.

I understand your frustration, but I completely understand the policy. Like others said, I would hate to be on a romantic getaway and hear screaming kids next to us...that's the kind of place you often pick for a romantic getaway because of the very fact that they usually do not accept children.

<snip>

And again, many b&b have antiques, collectables, breakables, fancy furniture, so even if your kids are perfect and wouldn't touch any of those things, I can definitely see that many of those places are not kid-friendly.

And again :

[Sheal]

Originally Posted by frontierpsych

I didn't mean it, just meant I'd be temped to ask in the moment when I was angry with them, as in seeing it as just another form of discrimination.

So Toys R Us discriminates against adults because they gear their business to children? It's not discrimination, it's gearing a personal business to an industry with a demand for it. Simple economics.

[MadameXCupcake]

I know some accept children! One of my favorite trips growing up was to a B&B in Pa near the Amish country. I remember it having the most amazing and largest play house I have ever seen that had the cutest play kitchen, little dining room and even a loft! The owner even let us milk a cow!!

You can find one I'm sure.

[karina5]

A lot of B&B's and guest houses have antiques and the setup is different than a hotel where it wouldn't be conducive for children.

To be honest, I would seek out a kid-free place like that for a romantic weekend w/ DH. I think the policy is fine.

[Ruthie's momma]

Sorry to hear about the way you were treated :. Unlike PPs, I have found B&Bs to be child friendly. Maybe it is a regional thing? We are out West...where most everyone tends to love kids and dogs!!!

DH and I have always enjoyed staying at B&Bs! Since DD was born, we have continued to enjoy them. We have stayed in a variety of B&Bs in a lot of different locations:

*Breckenridge, Colorado
*Telluride, Colorado
*Santa Fe, New Mexico
*Cambria, California
*San Luis Obispo, California
*Santa Barbara, California

Every time, our daughter has been greeted with open arms. In fact, we have gotten special treatment! One place laid out an assortment of bath toys in the bathroom for DD while other places have provided a small box of toys! Every place supplied special bedding and a crib or little bed, as well as baby or toddler friendly food. Diaper service has been arranged for us, too.

I understand that B&Bs tend to be geared towards adults (DD has always been the only child in the house...but, the inn keepers seemed to have things ready to go for any child). Plus, DD lives amongst antiques, artwork, and nice furnishings at home. For a B&B to exclude little ones based upon that reasoning is totally absurd! One can expect such exclusionary policies in European countries (where many business owners barely tolerate children in their restaurants, shops, and hotels). But, that is not the norm here in America.

JMO...

[karina5]

Originally Posted by Ruthie's momma

Sorry to hear about the way you were treated :. Unlike PPs, I have found B&Bs to be child friendly. Maybe it is a regional thing? We are out West...most everyone tends to love kids and dogs!!!

DH and I have always enjoyed staying at B&Bs! Since DD was born, we have continued to enjoy them. We have stayed in a variety of B&Bs in a lot of different locations:

*Breckenridge, Colorado
*Telluride, Colorado
*Santa Fe, New Mexico
*Cambria, California
*San Luis Obispo, California
*Santa Barbara, California

Every time, our daughter has been greeted with open arms. In fact, we have gotten special treatment! One place laid out an assortment of bath toys in the bathroom for DD while other places have provided a small box of toys! Every place supplied special bedding and a crib or little bed, as well as baby or toddler friendly food. Diaper service has been arranged for us, too.

Well there are lots of kid friendly ones, too. That's the thing. There are both. So why would it be an issue? If you have your children with you, find a place they can stay.

[AbbieB]

Well, OP, I am with you.

I do not get the whole "I'm on a romantic getaway with my DP and seeing kids would just wreck it" mentality. (I'm not trying to be judgmental here, just saying that I, personally, do not understand.)

I live in the states and I am surprised to hear that the no kids policy is common. Honestly it would never even occur to me to ask if my children were "allowed" in any kind of environment. I assume that if I am allowed than my kids are too. I does seem to be an age based form of discrimination.

Having said that, I try to be respectful of others when out and about. The kids can run, jump and be noisy on a playground not in a restaurant. If my kids are not behaving appropriately to the environment it is my responsibility to remove them.

Right or wrong, if someplace is going to be "adult only" they have a responsibility to be up front about it. I think this is what makes the situation really crappy.

[kmeyrick]

I think it's okay for a B&B not to accept children. Karina5 is right- they may have antiques, or a not-so-safe set up for kids. The food they serve may not be kid-friendly either. And to be honest, a lot of their customers may be going precisely to have a kid-free weekend. Go to a kid-friendly place instead.

[Swan3]

I would be irked too, but on the other side of things, maybe it's that they're not equipped to meet the needs of families and aren't babyproofed in any way. It could just be a liability thing - but it still sucks. Try one of the bigger hotels/motels...they're usually family friendly even if they are more cookie cutter.

[Getz]

I always thought it was assumed a B&B was not family friendly unless they specifically said so, not the other way around (cultural difference I guess). It doesn't mean they are child-haters. I am not a child hater (I am quite fond of my own kids ) but don't really care for other people's kids. I like that there are places out there that are adult-only (not that DH and I go anywhere). I wouldn't go to a hotel with an indoor water park and be annoyed there were families there, I think the opposite is true as well.

[Swan3]

Originally Posted by Sheal

So Toys R Us discriminates against adults because they gear their business to children? It's not discrimination, it's gearing a personal business to an industry with a demand for it. Simple economics.

Adults are allowed to shop at TRU...the difference is being geared towards a certain market and actually saying that children are not permitted. I can see how that's discriminatory.

But it is a cultural thing, I find here in North America it's acceptable to discriminate against kids and families...whereas elsewhere it's accepted that kids come as part of the package.

[karina5]

Originally Posted by Swan3

Adults are allowed to shop at TRU...the difference is being geared towards a certain market and actually saying that children are not permitted. I can see how that's discriminatory.

But it is a cultural thing, I find here in North America it's acceptable to discriminate against kids and families...whereas elsewhere it's accepted that kids come as part of the package.

Not really. There are many places outside of north america that appreciate no-kid policies as well.

[MtBikeLover]

Originally Posted by FeminineFigure

Honestly, I don't think their reply was rude, just to the point.

I understand your frustration, but I completely understand the policy. Like others said, I would hate to be on a romantic getaway and hear screaming kids next to us...that's the kind of place you often pick for a romantic getaway because of the very fact that they usually do not accept children.

I have also been to adult-only resorts, and it is a nice break to be able to sit around a pool without kids running around. I love kids, but sometimes adult time is much appreciated.

And again, many b&b have antiques, collectables, breakables, fancy furniture, so even if your kids are perfect and wouldn't touch any of those things, I can definitely see that many of those places are not kid-friendly.

I agree completely with this!

We have been very lucky to always find B&B's that allow children when we go on vacation, but it does take some work to find them. It never bothered me at all that some places don't allow children. If I was on a romantic getaway with my husband, i wouldn't want kids around.

[sahmama_12]

Originally Posted by AbbieB

Well, OP, I am with you.

I do not get the whole "I'm on a romantic getaway with my DP and seeing kids would just wreck it" mentality. (I'm not trying to be judgmental here, just saying that I, personally, do not understand.)

I live in the states and I am surprised to hear that the no kids policy is common. Honestly it would never even occur to me to ask if my children were "allowed" in any kind of environment. I assume that if I am allowed than my kids are too. I does seem to be an age based form of discrimination.

Having said that, I try to be respectful of others when out and about. The kids can run, jump and be noisy on a playground not in a restaurant. If my kids are not behaving appropriately to the environment it is my responsibility to remove them.

Right or wrong, if someplace is going to be "adult only" they have a responsibility to be up front about it. I think this is what makes the situation really crappy.

Yeah that. I think it really segregates parents to have certain places kid-free. I too do not understand how your vacation would be ruined by someone elses kids. These places are after all, as one pp said, far from sound proof. So if everyone is getting it on how is the noise from that less distracting than kid noise?

[Swan3]

Originally Posted by karina5

Not really. There are many places outside of north america that appreciate no-kid policies as well.

I don't think it's as common as it is here...children seem to be unwelcome in so many places (not just B&Bs) to the point where people complain about "unruly" kids on busses, in malls, restaurants - pretty much anywhere.

While the era has passed on the popularity of the term "children should be seen and not heard" it's still how people think.

Talking to a lot of European moms who have compared life there to life here, I get the distinct impression that this is the case. And in terms of Latin America I definitely think there's a different cultural acceptance of kids. They go where the adults go, families travel together instead of without kids.

[AbbieB]

I don't think the "adult only" policy has anything to do with baby proofing and breakables or liability. Every hotel room I have ever been in has had breakables and needs some basic baby proofing (wires, outlets, bath products, etc...).

I do think it's a cultural thing. American society is definitely anti-child/anti-family. I'm not saying there are no family-friendly niches. But has anyone else noticed that there is no happy medium? Places to be either kid friendly or adult oriented. For example, even family restaurants like Applebees have had some anti-baby press (remember the NIP incident?).

I find that the general attitude among my childless peers (even my IL's) is that children should be home with baby sitter. I hear a lot of "I don't like other people's children" comments from my IRL mom friends. Look at popular TV shows. How many have babies that are invisible? (I'm thinking Friends as an example.) Again, there are exceptions, there are shows that are about families so you do see the kids. I think that looking at a culture's media is pretty revealing about it's attitudes.

I'm not saying that the above attitudes are wrong. It's just something that I have observed.

[Sheal]

Originally Posted by Swan3

Adults are allowed to shop at TRU...the difference is being geared towards a certain market and actually saying that children are not permitted. I can see how that's discriminatory.

But it is a cultural thing, I find here in North America it's acceptable to discriminate against kids and families...whereas elsewhere it's accepted that kids come as part of the package.

I'm in Ontario and there are plenty of places that are both kid friendly and not so kid friendly. The couples resorts specify that they are couples resorts.

Yes, an adult can shop at TRU but since when do we see a 4 year old child shopping alone at TRU and there are no real (except gaming systems) products for adults in the store - it was a general comparison.

I have no issues with places that gear themselves to either adults only, families or children only. It's what the consumer wants that ultimately gets put out there in the market. Still a matter of simple economics not race, not ageism and certainly not meant to be "unacceptable of children or families".

[riverscout]

Even pre-kids, I thought B&Bs were too uptight and stuffy. Can't imagine staying in one with kids even if they were allowed. Seems like I would spend the whole time trying to keep them quiet or from breaking something. Anyway, most of the ones I've ever seen either don't allow kids or only allow those over 12.

When we've traveled with kids, I've always enjoyed getting a suite at a big hotel. Gives us lots of room to spread out and we don't have worry too much about noise. Embassy Suites is pretty nice and has a big breakfast buffet and a complimentary cocktail hour just like some B&Bs. Oh, and you get the bonus of a pool. I bet there is one in Memphis.

[brightonwoman]

They should have had it on their website--they should not assume that everyone would know, no matter how common it is. I think it's pretty inexcusable that they were so rude too. I'm glad that atleast you found otu before you got there...DH and I were invited to an event and when we got there and went to go in they said no I couldnt' come in because I had a 5mo nursling in arms. We were pretty miffed because we'd driven over an hour, and gotten a babysitter for our older child... I understand that some places don't want kids around, but they need to make it clear from the outset that that is their policy.

DH and I hope to start a B&B someday--and it would be VERY family friendly.

[Kirsten]

Originally Posted by grniys

See... I just don't see it as discrimination. The business is geared for couples on romantic getaways without kids. I just don't think EVERYTHING must be child-friendly.

THANK YOU!!! Not everything is for everybody. There is a time and a place. I love my kids - and usually everyone else's - but they aren't welcome everywhere. I am always blown away when people (it seems always to be women) think their kids should be allowed in their college classes, their workplace, all wedding ceremonies (some of which are kid-friendly and some of which are not).

Husbands aren't welcome at bridal showers. No one gets upset about it. It just isn't for them. Doesn't mean we don't like them or are husband-haters. Wives aren't welcome at the annual canoe trip my dp takes with his high school buddies. No big deal.

I'm sure there are lots of hotels in the area that would work for the whole family to stay. I haven't personally stayed in B & Bs before - because it just seems like not enough privacy. OP, I hope you find something that will work for you. Congrats on your dp coming home!