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We don't accept children - Page 12

post #221 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
That's ridiculous. I agree, I would not frequent a place that wouldn't allow my kids.

Businesses should set standards for behavior, not age restrictions. I can certainly see throwing a guest out who was disturbing the other patrons, no matter what the guest's age . . . but saying "no kids," assumes that all kids are the same (and awful).

Have you ever met that parent that has an "angel child" that is the worst behaved child you have ever seen. I think it is to hard to define clear standards of behavior. Having a white line rule makes it easier for the establishment to jsut say no to kids and not have to decide whose kids are up to snuff. I think it would suck to have to tell people to pack up and leave. As I posted earlier my parents have a B & B and it would not be a place I would chose to bring children. Too much antique-glass typed place even for the best behaed kids.
post #222 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bellejar View Post
Have you ever met that parent that has an "angel child" that is the worst behaved child you have ever seen. I think it is to hard to define clear standards of behavior. Having a white line rule makes it easier for the establishment to jsut say no to kids and not have to decide whose kids are up to snuff. I think it would suck to have to tell people to pack up and leave. As I posted earlier my parents have a B & B and it would not be a place I would chose to bring children. Too much antique-glass typed place.
i do think that if by no children then mean no one under 18 its sort of silly. i would hope my kid would be able to behave in that kind of situation well before 18.
post #223 of 288
Just as a side question how many of you have actually owned a business like a bed and breakfast and had to try and enforce some determination as to what behavior was acceptable? I think this determination is way to fraught with possible bad outcomes to bother taking it on. The person above who got the chairs thrown at them would proabably back me up.
post #224 of 288
Also, I was thinking about the post where someone said it was okay with them if an adult wanted to crawl around in the equipment at a playplace with the children.

I've honestly never seen that happen -- except for one time years ago, when my neice wanted me to crawl through the tubes at Leaps-n-Bounds with her.

I didn't get very far. I've learned that it kills your knees once you're beyond a certain weight.

In the event that some adult man padded his knees and went crawling through the tubes at a children's playplace -- I honestly wouldn't feel comfortble with that.

So maybe it's okay to break some things down by age -- I just wish our world didn't go so overboard at times!
post #225 of 288
Originally Posted by Jessy1019
Quote:
That's ridiculous. I agree, I would not frequent a place that wouldn't allow my kids.

Businesses should set standards for behavior, not age restrictions. I can certainly see throwing a guest out who was disturbing the other patrons, no matter what the guest's age . . . but saying "no kids," assumes that all kids are the same (and awful).
So, what about the infant who wakes at 2 am crying, disrupting other guests? Or the toddler who wakes up at 3 am, wanting to play like it's 9 am?

I work at a hotel. I deal with "kid complaints" all the time. Usually, there's nothing I can do (or would do), but guests get really mad.

Guest at 3 am: "There's a baby next door crying. It's been crying for the past 15 minutes."

Me: "And?"

Guest: "It's late and I have to get up early."

Me: "Babies cry. *shrugs* There's not much I can do about that. I can't go in there and force the baby to stop crying."

And I really can't. I've kicked out my fair share of people--drunk, high, irrate, violent, etc. I only kick out families with kids when they're being purposely disruptive--the type where mom/dad just sits back and lets Little Johnny do whatever he wants.

People staying at a B&B won't have to worry about that scenario.
post #226 of 288
I think if someone is advocating that the rules be based on specific behavior they are not thinking through the details of just how that would work.

I gave an example a few pages back. Gray areas! Different definitions of what is "acceptable! Ugliness if kicking someone out! As mentioned, WHERE would the kicked out person go?!

There just isn't really a way that a business owner could do this without creating a whole boatload of problems for themself. Better to just say, "no kids" than deal with that nightmare.

(FWIW, I think the age should be closer to 14 than 18)
post #227 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bellejar View Post
Just as a side question how many of you have actually owned a business like a bed and breakfast and had to try and enforce some determination as to what behavior was acceptable? I think this determination is way to fraught with possible bad outcomes to bother taking it on. The person above who got the chairs thrown at them would proabably back me up.
Not quite, but I woked in a family restaurant so I've see a wide variety of what parents deem appropriate behaviour. Some of it just insane. I remember once we had to close off a section of the restaurant because someones "perfectly behaving" child managed to pull something partially off the wall by hanging off it creating a health hazard for others. And yes we had a play area but these peoples child was an "absolute angel" who "would never do anything damaging to someone elses property". And yes it was very well secured, it just wasn't ment to be a jungle gym.

And of course there were other families who's children were perfectly behaved, polite and probably could have even managed a fancy restaurant. But oddly enough, those parents seem to understand that no child is 100% predictable and chose to take the children somewhere where children were expected.
post #228 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by kmeyrick View Post
Also, if I had a B&B I wouldn't want to have an uncomfortable conversation on the phone with a parent scrutinizing the child before I allow him/her in. Can you imagine how bad for business that would be? Also, even if the kid is delightful, other customers may just not want to have them around. The parent's money is no greener than another person's.
I had this conversation with a B&B owner, and it wasn't awkward or negative--certainly not worse for business than outright banning children (maybe not better, but not worse). The owner told me their concerns (antiques furniture not suited for jumping and climbing, no "kid meals", no pool/playground, etc) and asked me how dd would do in such an environment. We were both really honest, and it worked out well.

We were just looking for a place to sleep within walking distance to the sights we wanted to see (no hotels/motels in that walking distance), so the other guests only ever saw dd as we walked through the front door and directly to our room, and at breakfast where she sat and ate the same food as everyone else. It would be completely bizarre if her presence somehow ruined someone's stay. It isn't like she slept with them, lol.
post #229 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by asianyoushi View Post
hugs sorry they were a bit rude in their replies... most people think bed and breakfast as a couples retreat... so i would have totally assumed kids werent allowed..
: I know it can seem shocking, esp if they are rude about it, but imagine if you saved up for a romantic weekend w/out the little one and the place ended up sounding like a daycare, or someone's little one was prone to screaming and they didn't take steps to quiet their child (or even worse, if you had a room next to a family who believed in the CIO method).

I am sorry you were hurt by the way they worded things. :
post #230 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
I feel torn because I don't like whole idea behind our age-segregated society. I mean, some churches don't even welcome babies and small children in the sanctuary with their parents -- they want family members to separate and go to their specialized niches. I won't attend a church like that.
I recently looked into attending church again and I was absolutely shocked when I found out that some churches do not let kids stay in the sanctuary for services. I had never heard of anything like that before.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
At the same time, if I were booking a place to stay on a vacation, if I knew that someplace was designed to be a quiet, romantic getaway, I wouldn't want to go there because at this point, I can't guarantee that our family would just be quiet and fade into the woodwork.

So I'd rather go someplace that's family-friendly.
I think most parents would do the same, myself included. I just don't think most people with kids, especially loud rambunctious kids, would even want to go to some cozy quite B&B even if they were allowed. It seems like the kind that would want to go would be the type that would fit in just fine like Hazelnut and sunnmama. Most others would go somewhere with a tv in the room, a pool, and perhaps childcare. It just seems weird to me to have an across the board "no kids" rule.

I think my favorite restaurant is a good example of this. It does not have a no kids policy. However, it is in no way child friendly...no kid's menu, no highchairs, no crayons, no music, unusual food, etc. In the dozens of times my husband and I have been there, we have seen three children, all of whom were extremely well behaved. Most people with children would feel uncomfortable there and would go elsewhere, but these parents obviously knew this would be something their kids could handle. For the restaurant, it is just unnecessary to have a no kids policy because it is just not somewhere the vast majority of parents with kids would want to go. And if they did have such a policy, those three kids and their families, all of whom appeared to be having a lovely time btw, would have missed out on a really great and unique experience.
post #231 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
I feel torn because I don't like whole idea behind our age-segregated society. I mean, some churches don't even welcome babies and small children in the sanctuary with their parents -- they want family members to separate and go to their specialized niches. I won't attend a church like that.
I dont have a problem with a church who "offers" a room where you can go and still here the speaker .. if your child is being disruptive and nobody can hear anything. I appreciate that an option is offered.

I have never seen a church where they will not let you into the main sanctuary where the service is going on if you have a child.

I have sat through some service with some totally clued out parents who will not get up and walk out for a few minutes until their child settles down .. making it impossible for anyone to hear anything.

Where are these churches that don't allow children in the service with everyone else?
post #232 of 288
We are currently "church shopping" and have been to LOTS of churches over the last year or so, and have never been asked to sit in a separate section than DS (a toddler). If he gets loud - which he sometimes does - then we take him out of the sanctuary immediately.

But honestly, I don't think that is common AT ALL. Most churches are hurting right now, and would not offend their potential base, which is families.
post #233 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by karina5 View Post
We are currently "church shopping" and have been to LOTS of churches over the last year or so, and have never been asked to sit in a separate section than DS (a toddler). If he gets loud - which he sometimes does - then we take him out of the sanctuary immediately.

But honestly, I don't think that is common AT ALL. Most churches are hurting right now, and would not offend their potential base, which is families.
this has been my experience as well -- and I too have been to many churches.

I have seen maybe twice in many years where an usher has asked a parent if they would like to use the nursery .. but this is only because they are too clued out to get up out of their seat when their kids are screaming
post #234 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peppermint Leaf View Post
Where are these churches that don't allow children in the service with everyone else?
I actually haven't been to a church that didn't "allow" children in the sanctuary (though I've heard of one like this).

When I said they don't all "welcome" little ones in the sanctuary, I was referring to churches where there's lots of urging for parents to drop children off in the nursery, and/or for nursing mothers to be directed to the "nursing mothers' room."

It's usually not as blatant as saying "no children in the sanctuary."
post #235 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
I actually haven't been to a church that didn't "allow" children in the sanctuary (though I've heard of one like this).

When I said they don't all "welcome" little ones in the sanctuary, I was referring to churches where there's lots of urging for parents to drop children off in the nursery, and/or for nursing mothers to be directed to the "nursing mothers' room."

It's usually not as blatant as saying "no children in the sanctuary."



Hmmm, I really think that was a fluke. What denomination was it, just out of curiosity?

And, I too have experienced services where a parent either doesn't remove the loud child (whether crying or playing) from the service or waits waaaaaay too long, and it's really frustrating.
post #236 of 288
this is funny b/c at my church there is a nursery and usually people use it ... but on christmas i guess they want to keep the little ones with them.. understandable in theory... but it ends up with all the dads holding the babies in the lobby lol. don't know why it's the dads but it ALWAYS is ... my dad and i wonder about this every christmas lol.
post #237 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
I actually haven't been to a church that didn't "allow" children in the sanctuary (though I've heard of one like this).

When I said they don't all "welcome" little ones in the sanctuary, I was referring to churches where there's lots of urging for parents to drop children off in the nursery, and/or for nursing mothers to be directed to the "nursing mothers' room."

It's usually not as blatant as saying "no children in the sanctuary."
Yes exactly. I used the words "do not let kid stay" in my post, but they don't actually explicitly forbid them, just strongly discourage them from staying...like strongly enough that you can't really bring them and feel comfortable.
post #238 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
I actually haven't been to a church that didn't "allow" children in the sanctuary (though I've heard of one like this).

When I said they don't all "welcome" little ones in the sanctuary, I was referring to churches where there's lots of urging for parents to drop children off in the nursery, and/or for nursing mothers to be directed to the "nursing mothers' room."

It's usually not as blatant as saying "no children in the sanctuary."

yes, I think you will find that many churches would prefer you go into the Nursing Mothers Room if you are going to Nurse.

But I have never actually seen a mother nurse uncovered in any church service I have been in

I can see that if you prefer to nurse in the sanctuary - you might find some churches more receptive than others
post #239 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
I feel torn because I don't like whole idea behind our age-segregated society. I mean, some churches don't even welcome babies and small children in the sanctuary with their parents -- they want family members to separate and go to their specialized niches. I won't attend a church like that.

At the same time, if I were booking a place to stay on a vacation, if I knew that someplace was designed to be a quiet, romantic getaway, I wouldn't want to go there because at this point, I can't guarantee that our family would just be quiet and fade into the woodwork.

So I'd rather go someplace that's family-friendly.

So, all in all, I wouldn't have a problem with a B&B advertising itself as adult-only. I'd know to bypass that one.

I am with you in feeling torn.

But, the problem is that you may be a respectful, courteous person who wouldn't take your child somewhere because you weren't sure if they would "fade into the woodwork." However, there are so many rude patrons that would bring their screaming children and babies into the quieter establishments and ruin it for everyone. While I find the discrimination against children at B&Bs to be slightly off-putting, I think it is there because it only takes that one, completely rude family to ruin it for all.

I go family friendly places like you because I don't want my children to be misreble and I want to let others have a pleasant experience at whatever place we are staying. But I am mindful of others' feelings.
post #240 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by karina5 View Post
We are currently "church shopping" and have been to LOTS of churches over the last year or so, and have never been asked to sit in a separate section than DS (a toddler). If he gets loud - which he sometimes does - then we take him out of the sanctuary immediately.

But honestly, I don't think that is common AT ALL. Most churches are hurting right now, and would not offend their potential base, which is families.
Every church we've attended have very much recommended and encouraged us to take the kids to the nursery. It's almost required... but isn't. I guess it'd be like wearing a tank top/mini skirt in the service... odd and not the norm, but you won't get ushered out.
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