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We don't accept children - Page 13

post #241 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cardinal View Post
I am with you in feeling torn.

But, the problem is that you may be a respectful, courteous person who wouldn't take your child somewhere because you weren't sure if they would "fade into the woodwork." However, there are so many rude patrons that would bring their screaming children and babies into the quieter establishments and ruin it for everyone. While I find the discrimination against children at B&Bs to be slightly off-putting, I think it is there because it only takes that one, completely rude family to ruin it for all.
I agree that this is the primary reason the rules are there. A clear case of the few who ruin it for the many. I have sat next to tons of kids at restaurants (even before I had my own little ones) who were very sweet and well behaved. Other times they have bee loud, tossed things on the floor ect...often the parents make more noise themselves by reprimanding in loud ways rather than removing their kiddo from the situation until they are behaving in a way that is appropriate for the setting.

I wish we as parents could decide what settings our kids are ready for, but since not all parents share the same views on child behavior, there will probably always have to be external guidelines to keep things consistent,
post #242 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monda View Post
I agree that this is the primary reason the rules are there. A clear case of a few ruin it for the many. I have sat next to tons of kids at restaurants (even before I had my own little ones) who were very sweet and well behaved. Other times they are loud, toss things on the floor ect... and often the parents make more noise themselves by reprimanding in loud ways rather than removing their kiddo from the situation until they are behaving in a way that is appropriate for the setting.

I wish we as parents could decide what settings our kids are ready for, but since not all parents share the same views on child behavior, there will probably always have to be external guidelines to keep things consistent,

Very well articulated. I wasn't so eloquent.
post #243 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by riverscout View Post
I think my favorite restaurant is a good example of this. It does not have a no kids policy. However, it is in no way child friendly...no kid's menu, no highchairs, no crayons, no music, unusual food, etc. In the dozens of times my husband and I have been there, we have seen three children, all of whom were extremely well behaved.
I used to work at a restaurant that was just like you describe. And 99% of the kids who came to dine with their parents WERE very well-behaved.

There was one couple, however, who had a toddler who shrieked, threw silverware, and cried every. single. time. they came in. This kid was not "ready" to sit in a highchair for an hour or more, and they probably came in twice a month or so. None of the other customers ever openly complained, but you could tell by the looks they gave and the way they hurried through their meals that they didn't appreciate it a bit. And to be honest, none of the staff enjoyed waiting on them because they were detrimental to our livelihood. Other customers leaving, skipping dessert or after-dinner drinks, etc., means less money in my pocket at the end of the day.

Looking at it from a dollars and cents POV, it makes more sense for a B&B owner to keep the customers happy who desire a kid-free stay. You can vote with your wallet; that's fine. For every family who rejects the policy, there will be many others who happily embrace it.
post #244 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bellejar View Post
Have you ever met that parent that has an "angel child" that is the worst behaved child you have ever seen.
No, I guess not. The parents I know who have difficult children are well aware of it, and they handle things accordingly (not taking their children places where they will disturb others).

I realize that some parents are clueless and rude, but I don't think businesses should let them ruin things for the rest of us.

karina5:
Quote:
I think if someone is advocating that the rules be based on specific behavior they are not thinking through the details of just how that would work.
Sure I am. For one thing, the policy should discourage parents from even bringing kids who can't handle themselves appropriately. For another, it's not that hard to point to whatever posted sign you have and say, "Look, your child is disturbing other patrons. You need to leave now."

Quote:
I gave an example a few pages back. Gray areas! Different definitions of what is "acceptable! Ugliness if kicking someone out! As mentioned, WHERE would the kicked out person go?!
The establishment gets to decide what's acceptable, and who cares where the people who are kicked out go? They obviously shouldn't have been there in the first place and they can deal with the consequences of having to leave.

Quote:
(FWIW, I think the age should be closer to 14 than 18)
14?! If I had a 12 or 13 year old who couldn't conduct him or herself decently in any place of business, I would be humiliated.

MayBaby2007:
Quote:
So, what about the infant who wakes at 2 am crying, disrupting other guests? Or the toddler who wakes up at 3 am, wanting to play like it's 9 am?
What about them? If the child is disturbing people, the parents need to get the kid to quiet down immediately or take him/her out of the building.

My kids just didn't do that stuff . . . we have a tiny house and have had numerous overnight guests over the years, and they've always said they never heard the kids at night, they slept great, etc -- even when I would be up with them for hours at a time.
post #245 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1littlebit View Post
yeah yeah yeah i know i am quoting myself.. but no one has answered and i am really curious!!
I'm sure each has there own standards the place the family rented out over the summers regualer policy was no kids under 12 years.

Deanna
post #246 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
No, I guess not. The parents I know who have difficult children are well aware of it, and they handle things accordingly (not taking their children places where they will disturb others).

I realize that some parents are clueless and rude, but I don't think businesses should let them ruin things for the rest of us.

karina5:


Sure I am. For one thing, the policy should discourage parents from even bringing kids who can't handle themselves appropriately. For another, it's not that hard to point to whatever posted sign you have and say, "Look, your child is disturbing other patrons. You need to leave now."



The establishment gets to decide what's acceptable, and who cares where the people who are kicked out go? They obviously shouldn't have been there in the first place and they can deal with the consequences of having to leave.



14?! If I had a 12 or 13 year old who couldn't conduct him or herself decently in any place of business, I would be humiliated.

MayBaby2007:


What about them? If the child is disturbing people, the parents need to get the kid to quiet down immediately or take him/her out of the building.

My kids just didn't do that stuff . . . we have a tiny house and have had numerous overnight guests over the years, and they've always said they never heard the kids at night, they slept great, etc -- even when I would be up with them for hours at a time.

Jessy, no child is well behaved 100% of the time there is going to be times when kids misbehave, even older children who should know appropriate behaviour are going to make mistakes, its all part of the learning process that goes with growing up. No one is perfect not even me and I am an adult :

If my husband and I are going to be paying top dollar for a room for the weekend we don’t want to hear kids, we can hear them 24/7 at home.
post #247 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
My kids just didn't do that stuff . . . we have a tiny house and have had numerous overnight guests over the years, and they've always said they never heard the kids at night, they slept great, etc -- even when I would be up with them for hours at a time.
that may be true of the average houseguest.
but what about the mama in the next room, who is having a romantic night of sleep in the next room. a mama with special tuned ears that wake up when a baby breathes funny.
someone could vacuum next to my bed, and i would hardly notice, but if a baby 2 stories away whimpers, i am up in a second.
for that mama who hears every sound a baby makes, and is having that special night to herself, hearing your baby cry for 3 seconds might end her one chance to sttn.

i think most of us on these boards have fantasized about taking a night away, just one night to sleep with no one waking you for any reason.
what if some mama actually got to fulfill that dream? i wouldn't want my baby to be the one to wake her
post #248 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
we have a tiny house and have had numerous overnight guests over the years, and they've always said they never heard the kids at night, they slept great, etc -- even when I would be up with them for hours at a time.
Do people have house guests who would say the hosts' kids kept them up all night and they slept terribly?


(Just joshing you. I'm sure your kids were fine, just making a point that having house guests who never complained could be as much a sign of having polite well-mannered guests as having polite, well-mannered children.)
post #249 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
Also, I was thinking about the post where someone said it was okay with them if an adult wanted to crawl around in the equipment at a playplace with the children.

I've honestly never seen that happen -- except for one time years ago, when my neice wanted me to crawl through the tubes at Leaps-n-Bounds with her.

I didn't get very far. I've learned that it kills your knees once you're beyond a certain weight.

In the event that some adult man padded his knees and went crawling through the tubes at a children's playplace -- I honestly wouldn't feel comfortble with that.

So maybe it's okay to break some things down by age -- I just wish our world didn't go so overboard at times!
I've seen it!!! I even have a picture of it! My hubbs did it with our kids at a Mcdonalds once. I was mortified but kind of laughing at the same time because I didn't think his 200 lb frame could actually fit in there. Honestly he was retrieving our 3 year old but did it playfully so she wouldn't freak out about being removed from the play tubes when we had to leave after we were done. It happened that our two older boys were at a section and he stopped long enough for me to snap a picture at one of the Plexiglas sections where you can see through it.

It does happen under ...uhm unusually circumstances. lol
post #250 of 288
i never thought the adult in the play place was weird.. i mean if he/she doesn't have a child of there own in there with them its weird ... but whats wrong with playing with your kids in there? what if one wants to play but is afraid and wants you to come with them? what if it's just one kid who wants to play but wants someone to play with?
post #251 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1littlebit View Post
i never thought the adult in the play place was weird.. i mean if he/she doesn't have a child of there own in there with them its weird ... but whats wrong with playing with your kids in there? what if one wants to play but is afraid and wants you to come with them? what if it's just one kid who wants to play but wants someone to play with?
Ha! Sometimes you have to get in there out of necessity. My little one has always been pretty reckless and would tumble down steep slides in those play parks and hurt herself. So I'd have to throw myself down tubes or over fixtures in the playpark to keep her from breaking her neck. I got some looks, it was for safety but also just having fun....I'd rather participate than sit back and just watch.
post #252 of 288
Our church speficially states on the bulletin each week that, although there *is* a nursery for under 5 years old, ALL AGES are welcomed and encouraged to attend at worship, and whispers, squirms, and the occasional shriek are to be expected. They also provide "worship bags" for kids filled with crayons/coloring books/storybooks/etc. Pastor Dennis always has a special section during the sermon where the children are invited up, and he talks specifically with them about whatever the message is that week. They have a sunday school class for parents of younger children where the kids are welcome at that, as well. And I have seen one of the women who just had a baby in September nursing during service. Children are *truly* welcomed at this church - maybe because Pastor Dennis have five kids of his own.

It's one of the reasons I chose this church - if your child would rather go to the nursery, he may. If your child wants to remain with you, that's truly fine, too.
post #253 of 288
What an awsome church you have!?! Way to make the kids feel special!
post #254 of 288
Karina -- I don't know if it's a denominational-thing, and I hesitate to single out specific churches -- but I've experienced and/or heard of other parents being urged to leave their little ones in the nursery, in at least a few different churches.

I'm glad you've never had this experience. However, if you're a first-time visitor they will sometimes cut you some slack. I visited for a couple of times in a church where I thought they were really cool about breastfeeding in the sanctuary, nobody'd said a word to me when I nursed our almost 2yo.

But I later learned the church policy of "no breastfeeding anywhere but the nursing mother's room" (mothers couldn't even nurse their babies in the nursery). I never would have guessed this policy, judging by how they treated me as a new visitor.

Katheek's church sounds awesome!
post #255 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheal View Post
I've seen it!!! I even have a picture of it! My hubbs did it with our kids at a Mcdonalds once. I was mortified but kind of laughing at the same time because I didn't think his 200 lb frame could actually fit in there. Honestly he was retrieving our 3 year old but did it playfully so she wouldn't freak out about being removed from the play tubes when we had to leave after we were done. It happened that our two older boys were at a section and he stopped long enough for me to snap a picture at one of the Plexiglas sections where you can see through it.

It does happen under ...uhm unusually circumstances. lol
Oh, well, I honestly wouldn't feel alarmed if a Mom or Dad were in there playing with their kids. But I would kind of freak if some lone adult were just hanging around up there.
post #256 of 288
I think that it is wonderful that some places are child free. Many people think that their children are very well behaved when, in fact, they are terrors. I was at a Christmas party recently and one guest brought her young children. She had told us a few weeks earlier how wonderfully behaved her children always were. Instead, they proceeded to jump on the host's furniture and terrorize her 15-year-old dog. The host's family tried to monitor the kids while the mom did very little. After the 2-year-old screamed in the course of throwing a tantrum for *at least* 15 minutes, the mom finally decided that they needed to leave. If this had happened while I was on a romantic vacation with my DH, I would be p*ssed.

And do you really think that your children are having a good time at a B&B? (And I'm not talking about the pp with the older daughter.) I *was* a very quiet child and taken everywhere with my mom from a young age. I can remember being at adult parties around age 5 being bored out of my mind! A family vacation should be fun for everyone. Why would you want your kids to have to be on their best behavior (super quiet, not allowed to touch anything, not running around and playing)? Isn't it their vacation too?
post #257 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by kiarox2002 View Post
I think that it is wonderful that some places are child free. Many people think that their children are very well behaved when, in fact, they are terrors.
Recently at a restaurant, I had to keep a friend's child from stabbing DD in the eye with a butter knife and her mom was sitting right next to her, just oblivious to the whole thing. Maybe we all have different definitions of well-behaved?
post #258 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by kiarox2002 View Post
And do you really think that your children are having a good time at a B&B? (And I'm not talking about the pp with the older daughter.) I *was* a very quiet child and taken everywhere with my mom from a young age. I can remember being at adult parties around age 5 being bored out of my mind! A family vacation should be fun for everyone. Why would you want your kids to have to be on their best behavior (super quiet, not allowed to touch anything, not running around and playing)? Isn't it their vacation too?
I'm not sure if I am the pp you are talking about, but my dd was 5 when we went to a B&B. I've never spent a lot of time at a B&B--we use them as a place to rest, sleep, and eat between exploring and sightseeing. She had lots of fun.
post #259 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnmama View Post
I've never spent a lot of time at a B&B--we use them as a place to rest, sleep, and eat between exploring and sightseeing.
That's all I've ever done, too. I'm not a fan of just hanging around anywhere, and neither are my kids . . . when we go on vacation, we use wherever we're staying as a place to sleep, dress, and sometimes eat. Otherwise, we're out of there!!
post #260 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
That's all I've ever done, too. I'm not a fan of just hanging around anywhere, and neither are my kids . . . when we go on vacation, we use wherever we're staying as a place to sleep, dress, and sometimes eat. Otherwise, we're out of there!!
Well when some couples go on vacation, the like to use the place they are staying for other things too. Probably why we wouldn't ever go to a B&B, just to awkward doing that in someone else house.
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