or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › We don't accept children
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

We don't accept children - Page 5

post #81 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by AislinCarys View Post
(remember, kidnappings are extremely rare in Scandinavia, the only ones I've heard of have been a parent taking his or her child, or a much older child. It isn't like you have any chance of getting away with stealing someone else's child!)
That's actually the case in the US, too, statistically. But no one would do that at a cafe because it isn't culturally accepted.
post #82 of 288
Huh. I don't have a problem with that at all. DH and I have a favorite B&B that we visit once or twice a year and I love that it's a no kid zone! I love kids, my own and other people's, but there are times when I want an adults only environment.

I think it's quite a stretch to say that the existence of adults-only B&Bs means that US culture is a child-hating one.
post #83 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbieB View Post
Am I understanding this post correctly, you think it's awesome for parents to park their child in a stroller outside and then go inside to eat?

Or are you saying that families with strollers eat outside, there is a no stroller section inside, and that's what's awesome.


Neither. I think it's awesome that Denmark is so safe that parents feel secure doing this. I don't think it's an awful thing. Somehow all these babies grow up and maybe the fresh air is really good for them. I don't think they leave a crying baby out there, just a sleeping one. It's not something I can really envision, but I think the whole thing is kind of neat.
post #84 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheal View Post
That's not what I said but I do know that kind of subtle sarcasm where I live is rude.
I was also being redundant. I'd commented before reading the rest of the replies, and later realized someone else had already responded to your post (only not sarcastically/rudely like I did ).

When I tried to edit it out, things got really weird, and my edit of "never mind -- someone already beat me to my point" got put further down, while the comment I'd tried to delete stayed right where it was ...

Anyhow, my intent was not to offend, but rather to express that the analogy was flawed. I should have just said "This analogy is flawed because ..."

I'll try to keep that in mind for the future, and I apologize for my rudeness.
post #85 of 288
I know tons of B&B's that don't "allow" kids. Why would they? They are places for for couples. What is wrong with that? Is it "disrespectful" for my husband and I to spend the night together? Or what about people pre-child, or on their honeymoons?

http://www.anniversaryinn.com/rooms.php?room=93

This is a place that should let babies in?
post #86 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by karina5 View Post
I don't think they leave a crying baby out there, just a sleeping one.
I've heard strangers will stop to pop there heads in to tell parents that their baby has woken up and is crying.
post #87 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by lolar2 View Post
That's actually the case in the US, too, statistically. But no one would do that at a cafe because it isn't culturally accepted.
I'm not afraid that if I left an infant parked out side a restraunt that they would be kidnapped.

I believe that the baby might get cold or hot, that tey would be likely to wake up and be scared that they were alone, that if they were already awake they would be bored, that they might get hungry and want to nurse, that an older baby might try to climb out of their stroller and fall, that a bird might poop on them, that a dog might bite them, that a kid might try to play with them roughly, that an old lady might give them hard candy to choke on, etc, etc...

One does not need to be paranoid seeing child abductors around every corner to feel that leaving small babies parked alone on a city sidewalk is a bad idea.
post #88 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by fairejour View Post
I know tons of B&B's that don't "allow" kids. Why would they? They are places for for couples. What is wrong with that? Is it "disrespectful" for my husband and I to spend the night together? Or what about people pre-child, or on their honeymoons?

http://www.anniversaryinn.com/rooms.php?room=93

This is a place that should let babies in?
What confused the OP is that in the country where she's from, B&Bs are casual places for families. Here they are romantic places for couples.
post #89 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by riverscout View Post
I've heard strangers will stop to pop there heads in to tell parents that their baby has woken up and is crying.


Again, that's really awesome. It's interesting that it works so well in their culture. It would not work well here I don't think.

Then again, isn't Denmark "the world's happiest country" or something like that? I believe it is!! Probably their looking out for one another's babies is a good indicator of that.

For people that think it's a bad idea, I think "don't judge unless you've been there, seen EXACTLY how it works, etc.."
post #90 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by eepster View Post
I'm not afraid that if I left an infant parked out side a restraunt that they would be kidnapped.

I believe that the baby might get cold or hot, that tey would be likely to wake up and be scared that they were alone, that if they were already awake they would be bored, that they might get hungry and want to nurse, that an older baby might try to climb out of their stroller and fall, that a bird might poop on them, that a dog might bite them, that a kid might try to play with them roughly, that an old lady might give them hard candy to choke on, etc, etc...

One does not need to be paranoid seeing child abductors around every corner to feel that leaving small babies parked alone on a city sidewalk is a bad idea.
We're talking about sleeping babies here, not awake toddlers, and usually in a pram with a hood. You'd park the pram outside the window where you can see your baby - so you can get her if or when she wakes up. Roaming dogs is usually not a problem in cities/towns (or anywhere), there are strict laws on controlling your dog, and people abide them. And in Sweden, the idea that a stranger would feed your baby anything is ridiculous! They'll oh and ah over the baby (but I doubt they'd get too close to a sleeping baby - parents don't usually take it well if you wake their precious bundle).

Oh, well, not on the topic at all, sorry.
post #91 of 288
I don't think it's accurate to say that B&Bs in the US are universally thought of as couples only places. Certainly some seem to cater more towards a couples market with "romantic" trappings like fancy whirl pool tubs and such, but I don't remember being told or seeing any rules saying no kids in any of the various places that I've stayed at. Perhaps it's a regional thing or maybe I was unconciously avoiding those B&Bs giving off the couples only vibe.

I know if I was making a reservation at a B&B, I wouldn't have even have thought to ask if kids were allowed. Our DD still cosleeps so as long as the there was a king size bed the issue wouldn't have come up until we showed up there in person with our DD in tow. I guess it's good to know that might be a problem and I'll have to ask before making a reservation in the future.
post #92 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by MadameXCupcake View Post
I know some accept children! One of my favorite trips growing up was to a B&B in Pa near the Amish country. I remember it having the most amazing and largest play house I have ever seen that had the cutest play kitchen, little dining room and even a loft! The owner even let us milk a cow!!

You can find one I'm sure.
There are a couple good ones in PA. We stayed at the Country Log House Bed and Breakfast last summer and they were extremely family friendly.

On the other hand, I understand places that aren't and I'd like to stay at one like that with dh when our youngest is older.
post #93 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by karina5 View Post
Again, that's really awesome. It's interesting that it works so well in their culture. It would not work well here I don't think.

Then again, isn't Denmark "the world's happiest country" or something like that? I believe it is!! Probably their looking out for one another's babies is a good indicator of that.

For people that think it's a bad idea, I think "don't judge unless you've been there, seen EXACTLY how it works, etc.."

Yes, in the US the mother would probably immediately get "offended" that her parenting was being judged if someone popped in to tip her off that the baby was awake, or call the police because someone looked at her baby.
post #94 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by choli View Post
Yes, in the US the mother would probably immediately get "offended" that her parenting was being judged if someone popped in to tip her off that the baby was awake, or call the police because someone looked at her baby.
More likely would be someone calling the police because a baby was left on the sidewalk in a stroller.

And her parenting getting judged, and people looking at/assessing her baby, for real.
post #95 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbieB View Post
Well, OP, I am with you.

I do not get the whole "I'm on a romantic getaway with my DP and seeing kids would just wreck it" mentality. (I'm not trying to be judgmental here, just saying that I, personally, do not understand.)

I live in the states and I am surprised to hear that the no kids policy is common. Honestly it would never even occur to me to ask if my children were "allowed" in any kind of environment. I assume that if I am allowed than my kids are too. I does seem to be an age based form of discrimination.

Having said that, I try to be respectful of others when out and about. The kids can run, jump and be noisy on a playground not in a restaurant. If my kids are not behaving appropriately to the environment it is my responsibility to remove them.

Right or wrong, if someplace is going to be "adult only" they have a responsibility to be up front about it. I think this is what makes the situation really crappy.
No one said that the mere sight of a child would wreck everything. Come on.

Okay, if it age discrimination, then I guess I should be able to move into a retirement village.
post #96 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by stickywicket67 View Post
op-

are you from Europe? i think that maybe you are used to the concept of B&B in a more European context?

i know in England it's more family oriented and less expensive to stay in a B&B. it used to be anyway...

in America B&Bs are considered chi chi foo foo expensive romantic couples getaway places.

shame though 'cause i think it's nicer the other way.

i mean who wants to get busy with the dh when right next door is the host and hostess!!?? that's just weird.

sorry they were not accepting of kids. i think it's just a cultural difference though.

i've always thought it would be nice to have a real B&B where i live. one where there is a big main room with books and puzzles and musical instruments and a fireplace and bikes to take to the beach and kids are welcome and it's a reasonably priced family friendly alternative to a boring hotel. hmmmm. maybe in my next career...
Thats what I was thinking. B&B's in US are a whole other world of knick knacks and antiques. In UK they are family friendly cheap accommodation.
post #97 of 288
I know a few people that run B7Bs, and one thing to remember is that they are really someone's home, and so in the end, they have to allow the guests they feel they can enjoy themselves, it's much more intimate than being in a hotel.

I also have heard lots of very nasty stories about parents with kids in the b&b, not cleaning up after themselves, being left alone by the parents, demanding special food, and so one. For some reason parents, more than others, seem to ask unreasonable things of the owners of these establishments, and it makes them reluctant to have children there.

I do think that some of them may just not like children much. But I wonder if children these days are really taught about how to be a good guest?
post #98 of 288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
That's ridiculous. I agree, I would not frequent a place that wouldn't allow my kids.

Businesses should set standards for behavior, not age restrictions. I can certainly see throwing a guest out who was disturbing the other patrons, no matter what the guest's age . . . but saying "no kids," assumes that all kids are the same (and awful).

no its not awful
not every place is meant for kids.

If my DH and I wanted to get away for a day or 2 -- I would ONLY choose a place that is adult only
post #99 of 288
I haven't studied up on this -- but do you think there are differences in American and European cultures, that cause Americans to feel that phrases like "romantic getaway" and "child-friendly establishment" can't be uttered in the same sentence -- that you can't have one without excluding the other?

I mean, I know that lots of my fellow-Americans would find it weird that dh and I could make love in the same bed where our little ones are sleeping -- and I sometimes read/hear moms talking about how they need to "get out of mother-mode" before they can "move into wife/lover-mode." That's never made sense to me, because I feel like it's all part of one seamless whole.

So maybe this is why Americans seem to feel such a need for child-free "oases" ... I'd be interested to hear more thoughts on this subject from people of the various European cultures.

When one previous poster mentioned the rooms in a B&B not being sound-proof, and then someone else added that the sounds of children wouldn't likely be any more disturbing than the sounds of couples making love -- it occurred to me that lots of American parents would be upset at their children hearing and asking about such sounds, and also that lots of American couples would feel somewhat restrained in their lovemaking if they knew there were children in the next room.

So, maybe this is less of an issue in many European cultures? I'm American, so maybe it's a little odd that I don't fret about the possibility of one of our children waking up and "catching" us, or of them seeing dogs or cats mating or giving birth (dd1 has seen me giving birth), or hearing something in a conversation, or a radio or tv-show, that raises questions in their minds. I feel totally comfortable about discussing anything my children are wondering about ...

And of course I'm not saying that we watch explicit shows or expose our children to porn ... we would never do anything like that. I'm just saying that I'm not alarmed at our children knowing about sex as a normal part of life.
post #100 of 288
There are many child-free "oases" in Europe, especially northern Europe. They just don't happen to include B&Bs.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › We don't accept children