nursing couple etiquette by the expert? - Page 2

[hparsh]

Originally Posted by kalkiwendy

I just (finally) found a Miss Manners response that, I'd imagine, pretty much sums up her opinion: she's staunchly ANTI-NIP.

Not that I ever cared what she said, but she has lost all my respect. Her response was really ignorant for so many reasons. Gee, and we wonder why more women don't BF. :

[MaryJaneLouise]

I'm in favor of discretion while someone is NIPing, too. I don't think anyone should stare, point, gossip, negatively remark on, or otherwise discourage a nursing couple (tri-ouple?) .

[AndVeeGeeMakes3]

Originally Posted by hparsh

Not that I ever cared what she said, but she has lost all my respect. Her response was really ignorant for so many reasons. Gee, and we wonder why more women don't BF. :

I know! Crazy, huh? Since I first saw the OP, I have been looking for instances of ANYONE in the mainstream to say ANYTHING positive (beyond, "breastfeeding is perfectly natural," which sounds a lot like what you say to a child who's passed gas and giggled or something ) about NIP or even breastfeeding - we'll set aside the Jolie blip of last month. It's just incredibly ridiculous how ignorant people are about it.

[Bellejar]

Wow, I will never read ms. manners ever again (admittedly I haven't in the past either but...) So my friends actually didn't have a problem at all with nursing my baby at the wedding I was in and even offered my the bridal suite as a respite area any time I wanted to pump or whatever, they were worried the baby would cry during the ceremony. They are fine with me breastfeeding anywhere around them. I don't think it is necessarily an anti-breastfeeding sentiment to not want a new born at the wedding. It might be something as simple as not wanting their comemorative video to have a babies cry on it. (I realise they are being very selfish, but it is their wedding). I look at this as your brothers problem not yours. If he wants you there he should stand up to them about bringing the baby. If it is important enough to him that he will risk you not being there by excluding the baby that should tell you what kind of pressure he is under. I am not defending their stance by any means, but I know after being a bridesmaid 4 times and having a wedding of my own tensions run really high around weddings.

[amlikam]

okay- call me horrible- but if my brother said come- i would. like it was said before- he's getting married too....

and yeah i would do everything i could to make sure my lo didn't peep and was dressed in the cutest outfit i could find. not to mention my wrap.

at 3 weeks you need to be together... my only concern would be bringing a baby so young into such a large group. all those people wanting to touch! ugh.....

if you let your SIL make you back into a corner now- just imagine what it will be like in years to come.

let her ask you to leave if she still feels that way on Wedding day.... i bet by time the reception starts she'll be happy to have you and baby there.

if she isn't happy by then, oh well....at least your family will be.

:

[SallyN]

IMO this doesn't even need to be about NIP or no-NIP. But for these people to expect you to leave your 3-week old baby? Or alternatively, to miss your own brother's wedding? That's just ridiculous.

I'd suggest having a frank discussion with your brother. Explain to him that you attending the wedding w/o your newborn is simply not an option. Yet you would be devastated to be forced to miss your own brother's wedding. Stress how much you want to be there for HIM, to support HIM on such a significant day of his life.

And perhaps see if he can get to the root of the BTB and her parent's issue. If it's a concern of disruption, explain that of course you would go to a different room if baby is crying (I don't think you even need to go into the 'nursing will fix it' solution.) If the concern is that other people will want to bring their own kids... that's the host's issue... very simply addressed by responding to the other people that an exception has been made for newborns less than *such and such* age (that oh-so-conveniently still keeps their kids not invited), or newborns of immediate family even. I do understand that people choose not to have children at their wedding/reception. But they need to accept the ramifications and consequences of their choice. IMO though, excluding the sister of the groom is not cool, for ANY reason.

[PiesandAbrosmama]

wow I'm just speachless-family and weddings and a newborn baby can't come? I just have no idea what to say, nothing. And why can't your Brother have say here? I just really am so sorry this seems like this will be a real regret on his behalf someday, most certainly if this comes up in a few years and it's his wife. I really hope this gets worked out. sorry mama.