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Weekly chat thread Dec 20th-26th - Page 4

post #61 of 97
I'll be 32 weeks on Thursday, I had another OB appointment. He said I'm measuring at 33 weeks, which is not too concerning. What exactly does that mean, and why would it be a problem if I was measuring too far ahead? Two weeks ago I was measuring right in the middle of the normal range for how far along I was (2 days shy of 30 weeks). Also I am apparently very mildly anemic now, and so need to up my iron intake. I am ovo/lacto vegetarian but haven't been eating as consistently the last two weeks, in particular, I haven't been eating my eggs/spinach on toast. It seems like just taking the prenatal vitamins should account for even that, but I'm just going to have to be more conscious about it. I'm soooo tired and so stressed. This baby just needs to stay in there as long as possible because I am not prepared at all.

Just1More, I know exactly what you mean-- I don't feel like I can talk about the neg. stuff with anyone IRL, and am hesitant to do so here. I feel like I should have everything together, and when I don't I have a lot of difficulty talking about it, even if I need help! Silly me.

Any mommas prone to stress eating? I don't keep processed sugar/junk food in my house, but unfortunately I am surrounded by it at work and end up eating way more than I should especially when I'm stressed out. How do you cope with it? I'm trying to be good and am eating an apple and roast pecans right now but today was so anxiety provoking that I am eying the evil little cookies we have here (and no, I can't just put them away, I work at a coffee shop/bookstore) There are also high fat cream cheese bagels to be had. erg.
post #62 of 97
I hope I'm not hiding my head in the sand, but the high rate of false positives was a big reason I didn't want a sonogram!
post #63 of 97
Thanks for the replies...I am feeling a little tense about things, though I'm trying not to.
I don't think I would have done dual care, or had an u/s, and I won't next time if all is well this time, but dh had some medical treatment that put us at a higher risk for birth defects...so we wanted to have hospital backup and the u/s. BUT...I am sorta regreting now. I dunno. I guess that's why we went...to see if there's anything to be concerned about. I do NOT like waiting the 2 weeks, though.

I can empathize with those who have rib pain! Mine isn't really from the baby, though. When I was about 12, I flipped over the handlebars of my bike while going down a dirt hill. It messed up my back, and sometimes still I can actually slip my hand under my left rib cage and hold on to the lower ribs. And across my ribs can get really sore. It's been a long time since that's happened, but I'm noticing it a lot lately. I think it's because I've been sleeping all over the house, and my back must be a bit out. Usually I can get it right back in, but the baby is in the way now...
post #64 of 97
Bluebird, definitely get on some good iron supplements. I take an additional 75mg every day (on top of my prenatal) with vitamin C for absorption, because last pregnancy I was anemic, then baby was born and her iron stores ran out prematurely and she ended up anemic and we had to treat her with iron and honestly it was a nightmare.

Much better to get your anemia taken care of while pregnant if at all possible.

And your body has increased blood production so much that a simple prenatal typically won't be enough to keep up, if your diet isn't already iron-rich (which mine typically isn't either). Plus, the additional iron will help your energy level.

Some mamas have great luck with Floradix. It is one of those works great or not at all type things, IME. I take Gentle Iron by Solgar. It's chelated and non-constipating. Just be sure that whichever iron you go with, you avoid calcium when you take it, since calcium interferes with iron absorption.
post #65 of 97
Originally Posted by LionTigerBear View Post
Mainstream Hippie, I would be worried for your friend too. Hopefully she is a social birther and has no unaddressed baggage with her parents, in which case she may do just fine. My biggest mistake with my first birth was having my mom be there as a doula/support person. It wasn't her fault, she's really into natural birth and she was trying to be very supportive, it's just I felt so much pressure to "birth correctly" in front of her. And I'm not a social birther. It was very inhibiting.
Thank you for the validation. Unfortunately, it has been overcome by events. At her appointment today, the CNM who had thought the baby was head down the past two visits became concerned he might be breech. Her OB was brought in to confirm via ultrasound. He is frank breech. My friend commented that he had time to turn before she went into labor. The OB said they wouldn't want her to go into labor, and they scheduled her for a c-section Monday. She will be 40w1d by the wheel, 39w4d by early ultrasound. I have been researching c-sections, breech presentation, etc, since I heard. I have passed along the information, but know at this point, on this timeline, even if she tries everything, there is an 80%+ chance her baby will be entering this world via a surgical birth. I want her to feel confident she has done everything she can, so she can concentrate on the positives.

I am still not sure why the doctor didn't suggest trying a version Monday, or why she was so against her waiting to go into labor naturally.

This is the second planned natural birth recently that I have seen go surgical, and I have to say, it is making me a little nervous. I need to go re-read the thread on the homebirth board about statistical clustering.

On a related note, any moms here that have had c-sections previously, have any advice for me to help her, over the next few days as she wraps her head around this, and after her son is born?
post #66 of 97
Thanks Nighten, I will definitely go on additional iron supplements if I can't get my iron up by next appt. (two weeks from now). I definitely don't want to risk her being anemic. I went to our farmer's market today and got a bunch of iron rich foods, and i'll be eating more eggs. My OB was ok with that idea. He said my number was 11.1, while normal was 11.4. I'm having difficulty finding info about the range online. I wish I had asked him to be more specific. Until this appointment my iron count was fine, even before I was on the prenatals.
post #67 of 97
I keep wondering why my iron hasn't been checked this time around. This is the first time I havn't had it checked.

C-section advice - research how she wants to be closed up - staples, stitching, or surgical tape. And dont' try to rush recuperation like I did. I really pushed getting up and moving around, so that I could get home. No point in rushing it. Have plenty of help around for after baby is born. She will need lots of help, so she can recover properly. I ended up having about a 6 week recovery time . . . but my incision opened back up and I had to wait for it to heal from the inside out and that takes a very long time. We had to pack it twice daily.

I don't want another c-section. Mine was a nightmare in everyway possible. My fears lie with having to go through that again. My first two were vaginal . . . and I hope and pray this one will be too.
post #68 of 97
Holy cow...Amelia will be here 3 weeks from today! I can't believe it!

I'm trying to research c-sections, and especially c-sections with chronic blood/bone marrow conditions since that's the condition that my section will be done under, but I can't find much about the combination. But there aren't too many people that have ever gotten pregnant with my condition (it's usually found in men over 50, so figure that one out. LOL! Although it's starting to become more commonly diagnosed in young women since young women tend to have more blood tests done for pregnancies and things...and my condition is usually first detected by blood test).

We're still working on the nursery too--I have to have DH finish nailing up the crown moulding before I can move the furniture back (thank goodness for the Pergo floors in the room--moving furniture is really easy. : ).
post #69 of 97
I havn't heard of your condition AllyRae, but keep searching around, you might find something soon! And major WOW, that your baby will be born so soon! Amazing and wonderful! What an exciting time for you to be in the home stretch!

I am getting so very excited about this little baby girl. Every move she makes brings me so much joy. I remember loving all the movement with my boys . . . but because this is probably my last baby, I am really soaking it up and treasuring every moment of it.

And I still can't imagine what it will be like to hold a brand new baby "girl" in my arms. I just can't imagine it after having 3 boys. A baby is a baby . . . but after having all boys, there has to be something different about having a girl? And I am certain that if I had 3 girls I would feel the same way about having a boy. I would have loved to have another boy, because I just adore having boys . . . but this little girl is going to really change the dynamics of our family, and I am excited about that.

Now . . . I NEED A MIDDLE NAME!!! It's driving me crazy . . .and my husband doesn't see it as urgent as I do!
post #70 of 97
Hey, everyone -- I was never very active here but I've been in lurk-mode for a good long while. I enjoy reading what everyone else is up to; I just haven't had much to say myself.

Here's your Debbie Downer for the week:

I'm 32 weeks now and am starting to feel big and uncomfortable. I had AWFUL hemorrhoids recently that are close to being cleared up now (I hope!). I've been waking up around 6 most days (very early for me, especially now that my older two kids are on Christmas break!) and staying awake for a few hours, until the kids are up and then I get really tired again, just when it's too late to go back to sleep. Blah. I always carry really high and "in" in pregnancy, and now that I'm in the home stretch I have rib pain and regular shortness of breath due to the constant pressure on my diaphragm. My husband got a promotion and is working a new position now, which translates to longer hours and difficulty reaching him during the day if I need something, even by his personal cell phone. This is stressful in late pregnancy -- ugh.

There's been drama with my in-laws concerning their dog, who's shown plenty of obvious warning signs that she does NOT like small children and has some jealousy/insecurity issues whenever any company is over. In the last year since they adopted her, we've been going to their house less and less (and having much shorter visits), largely because their dog's growling and showing her teeth combined with my MIL and FIL's inability/refusal to see that she's unpredictable around the kids makes me nervous as hell, especially with my youngest, who's 18 months old. Anyway, she snapped at the baby's face when he crawled past her (missing him, thank goodness!) in mid-November when we'd been invited for dinner and that was IT for me -- my five-year-old daughter was actually bitten in the face by MY parents' friendly family dog who was ALSO never a problem, and she was hospitalized overnight and had plastic surgery. It was very ugly for all concerned and the stress and drama drug out a LONG time, long story short. So yeah -- flashbacks!! Anyway, I handled the situation as gracefully as I could and didn't make any sort of stink, but we did leave right away and my husband got an earful on the way home and afterward. He talked to his dad about our concerns just before Thanksgiving, finally, and my FIL reluctantly agreed to hang onto the dog and take it on himself to make sure she didn't leave his side during the hour or so we would be there (or this is what my husband told me he said, at least). They couldn't put her in a room by herself or put her in her crate, he said, because she would howl and be depressed and bother everyone. And...he didn't even do the little that he said he would do. Nothing was different, the dog roamed freely, I refused to put my son down while trying to keep a smile on my face and make pleasantries with extended family, and the visit was extremely nerve-wracking for me. And I've been on my husband since then to talk to his dad AGAIN to let him know that the "plan" on Thanksgiving did not work for us, go over our concerns and stress that we're not judging them but we would be really crappy parents if we allowed history to repeat itself after there have been plenty of warning signs that their 10-year-old dog who arrived at their house set in her ways doesn't like kids and obviously gets agitated when any attention is taken away from "her" people, and we won't be able to come to their house over Christmas if they can't/won't promise us that she'll be kept away from the kids. The earlier the better, to help soften the blow to both us and them and give them some time to let this sink in. But, he really hadn't said much of anything as of yesterday. Not to any meaningful extent, at least. My MIL had something planned last night where she had hired a Santa to "pop in" and visit our kids and my niece at their house. She's done this the last few years. I had already e-mailed my MIL myself about this two weeks ago, saying we'd put it down on the calendar (as requested) and would love to make it as long as they were willing to please put the dog away while the kids were there (this message went ignored, which didn't surprise me). So yesterday my husband was out of stalling time to check with his dad about whether or not they were planning to comply with this request, and forced the issue briefly when my FIL met up with him at work (they work at the same company) to hand off the "Christmas outfits" that my MIL had bought for our kids to wear last night. Basically, my FIL was defensive and said no, they weren't willing to put the dog away in another room or kennel her at our place while we were there (we only live about two miles apart) or anything of the sort, and we were being ridiculous and exaggerating. Besides, us taking this stance is saying we don't trust them, and they take offense to that. Oh, and apparently I was accused of kicking their dog under the table on Thanksgiving, too (in other words, I'm just a mean dog-hater and this is the only reason why I'm now refusing to allow my kids to be around their dog -- realize that I've been involved in animal rescue for some nine years now and am the person who stops traffic to round up a lost dog and find its home). My husband tried talking to him on the phone last night as well, hours later, shortly before Santa's scheduled arrival at my in-laws' house. Same general result, and my MIL was also shrieking unintelligably in the background, my husband said.

Needless to say, we didn't go there last night. I'm sure the "punishment" for "ruining plans" or whatever will be a long one, and I imagine all sorts of wonderful things were said about us to extended family. My in-laws are extremely stubborn people. And we're certainly not planning to go to their house tonight for their annual Christmas Eve "thing" (which is always a HUGE deal), either. I'm hoping to drop off our gifts at my brother-in-law's house this afternoon. Extended family arrives there this weekend as well, there's also the old family friends who always come from out of state for New Year's Eve, and my husband's grandparents will be there from Florida the 26th - 3rd. These are all events we would normally be expected to be there for, to see everyone and help entertain (and forget about asking anyone to come visit our house; these are my MIL's gigs and she MUST be the hostess in charge of every last detail). It's really too bad. My husband has been in an extremely grouchy funk since last night now, too -- great. Merry Christmas!!

Despite all of these things that caused me to post this long rant here, I really am looking forward to the baby coming. I have all the confidence in the world in my birth team and recently secured plans to have a certified doula/ recent friend be at the birth, plus there's a "new" postpartum doula in town ("new" in quotes because she practiced for years in Seattle and is getting back into it here) who's offered a free eight hours of her services to two of my midwife's homebirth clients to get her business going and get the word out...and I'm one of the lucky ones! I'm so thrilled about that! I've spoken to her on the phone and will meet her in person in early January.

And I'm looking forward to trying my hardest to make it a GOOD DAY today and tomorrow. I plan to take the kids to a chamber choir concert of Christmas carols at a big, historic church downtown at 1:30 today. After that, it's baking cookies and Chex Mix, starting a fire in the fireplace, and watching movies and playing games as a family. We'll probably order or make pizza and maybe drink hot chocolate in our pajamas while we drive around looking at Christmas lights. I'd like to go see a movie at the theater tomorrow, too, after opening presents from Santa and having a lazy start to the day. Whatever we do, I refuse to be stressed out or cranky; I've been that way WAY too much lately. If there's one thing I've learned from this it's that you have to take control of your own situation, not rely on others to make the changes you want so things will be smoother. It's high time to create our OWN family traditions for the holidays, besides. A friend put it to me yesterday that I don't want my kids to grow up to dread the holidays and think of them as a huge source of stress every year the way I always have as an adult, do I? That really hit it home.

Anyway, that's where I'm at today.
post #71 of 97
RabbitDancer, good for you for laying down the law with your ILs. That's ridiculous, honestly. If the dog is snapping and baring its teeth then obviously it is unsafe to have around children, especially young ones. I cannot imagine any responsible pet owner NOT being immediately wiling to crate the dog during a visit.

And I would not take my children to their house anymore until they do. Bless your heart, what a crappy situation.

ETA: Bluebird, that number isn't nearly as bad as mine was last time. Sorry if I came off as alarmist -- since the number isn't too bad, I think you'll be okay with the little added supplement.
post #72 of 97
Wow, RabbitDancer, it sure sounds like your ILs are being unreasonable about their dog. I would do exactly what you're doing in your situation, especially since you already have a child who has been bitten and you clearly know a bit about dogs. As a child I watched my friend get mauled by her own beloved dog, and so I know they are unpredictable. And if your ILs dog attacked one of your kids, that would not even be unexpected, given her past behavior.

I'm so sorry this is putting a damper on your family's Christmas. I hope you and yours have a very jolly Christmas anyway!
post #73 of 97
Yuck rabbitdancer...but I a so right there with you! My eldest dd was bitten in the face by her dad's dog when she was 4...the dog had never been aggressive at all and dd stepped on her while she slept...we were both right there, too! Snapped her right in the face, needed 45 stitches! It happened so fast! This dog was not a danger but it was a real wake up call that even the best pet has to potential for biting given the right circumstances. This dog never bit another person again and she lived another decade with dd dad!

I was so afraid of all dogs for years and I still maintain a major fear of stray dogs...something we see often living out in the country, people let their dogs run around here!

I would never let my child around a dog I felt was a danger...as a matter a fact...my exMIL (who I LOVE) has actually given 2 rescue dogs away to other situations that she felt were not good around the kids (she is a Vet). I'm sorry your inlaws are choosing their dog over their grandchildren...
post #74 of 97
Thank you for your supportive and encouraging words, nighten and Citykid. And would you believe, too, that my MIL was one of the most vocal critics of my parents choosing to keep their dog and insisting he was fine after he bit my daughter in the face, causing a life-long scar? When she first saw her swollen face before we went to the hospital, unrecognizable from the severe infection inflammation, she commented bitterly to my husband that she loves her dogs, too, but if a dog of hers was capable of doing something like that to one of the kids the choice would be obvious. And when they adopted their current dog a year ago and she was acting rather bizarrely and definitely unfriendly from the get-go, I overheard her say that she just wasn't sure this arrangement was going to work out, after all; they might just have to send her back to the rescue group she'd come from. But they didn't, and her behavior never changed (in fact, it's probably gotten MORE neurotic, if anything). And we're (read: I'm) exaggerating things and being petty and demanding.

Yeah. I swear I'm not making any of this up.
post #75 of 97
Bathrobe Goddess, 45 stitiches -- how SCARY! That is awful. Did you daughter pull through okay in the long-term? How long ago was this? I'm so sorry to hear it. Yes, even otherwise safe dogs can feel threatened enough in an accident to bite like that. They can't exactly talk to us to tell us what's wrong, and children, especially, are accident-prone. I was also bitten in the face by the family dog around age 4 (again, I swear I'm not making this up...), though it wasn't nearly that severe, "just" a puncture wound to my upper lip after I'd gotten too close when the dog was enjoying a bone from the butcher shop. Then again, this dog was another one who arrived with obvious unknown emotional baggage and my parents never did anything to work with her or train her to be good with kids, and I mostly kept my distance from her growing up. I've never been close to a dog, so I suppose it's no surprise that I'm SO not a "dog person" today.

post #76 of 97
Rabbitdancer- maybe they could put a muzzle on her (the wire kind so she can drink, pant, etc.)- sounds harsh, but she could be around everyone, and your kids would be safe.

I have a similar situation with my sister's dog- 190 lb mastiff/saint bernard cross. She is not allowed around my son, so she is outside or in another room when we go over. She snaps and lunges at small children as well. My uncle's insane toy poodle is the same. She hides under furniture, then when a child crawls/walks by, she runs out and bites. She got my son's shirt on the sleeve, and bit another child that day, I told my uncle that if she was ever in my site around my child, she wouldn't live to see another day. She is left in the bedroom when any kids are around now.

My responses seem extreme, but I have worked with dogs in rescue, obedience and conformation for years, and I have no tolerance for animals like that- there are too many good ones who need homes who never make it out of the shelters. Plus I have seen permanent scars on children and adults bit by aggressive dogs, and it is not a situation worth risking IMO.

Good luck with that situation. Like you and everyone else has said, stick to your guns. Really wouldn't it be considered child abuse if you knowingly let a child be in that situation and they got bit?
post #77 of 97
So sorry for all the wretched drama, Rabbitdancer!
I am a dog person ... and if anyone who wanted to come to my house but was afraid of dogs for ANY reason, I would lock our dogs in the yard or in a separate part of the house. It is SO unreasonable for them not to accommodate you in this regard, especially with so many smart solutions at hand.

For everyone's sake, I encourage everyone to look into children's classes at local animal shelters that teach kids how to behave and react around known dogs and strange dogs, and what to do if they encounter an off-leash dog while out playing. We live rurally where you'll never know what dogs you'll meet on any given walk. It drives me crazy, because our dogs are tagged, trained and leashed ... and then along comes some random dog looking for a fight. :

ETA: I have seen sooooo many dog bites locally in my job as a paramedic. And with children, the bites are almost ALWAYS on the face, leaving them scarred. With adults, we get the bites on our butts, usually, so it's not nearly so devastating an injury. But when children are bitten, it is so traumatizing for everyone involved. It astounds me that your in-laws are being so ignorant on this issue.
post #78 of 97
RabbitDancer, I am so sorry your in-laws are being like that. Yuck. I think you are being 100% reasonable though! Good for you! I feel bad for your dh, too. It's such an awkward situation for him.

I am having a blah Christmas Eve day so far. I wish DH were here-- he is working until 5 or so-- I miss him-- my dad never used to work on Christmas Eve when I was kid, I was spoiled that way-- and the day is so gray and my tiredness is making me feel very "stuck". I have to get this house straightened up so that it will be a pleasant place for us for our holiday celebrations and yet I am SO SLEEPY and just really really low-energy. I feel quite sluggish. I could seriously go back to sleep and take a full nap-- like three hours or so. Then I would feel great. Oh well. And the laundry is all behind AGAIN and I am out of quarters for the stupid laundry machines. ::::

Sorry /vent.
post #79 of 97
Mainstream Hippie : I had a c-section 7 years ago because of breech presentation. I also had a version to try to turn him around but it was not successful (ended up that I have a bicarnate uterus which was undiagnosed until after the c-section).

I know in my case with the breech presentation there was some "fear" (not sure that is really the write word - maybe "concern") on the part of the doctor that if I was to have my water break or go into labor naturally that it was more risky than it would be to have the scheduled c-section. I think I remember reading that in some of the pregnancy books as well.

I had a scheduled date but actually ended up going into labor at 37 weeks (most likely due to the bicarnate uterus situation).

This time around I am having a scheduled date again...and I am pretty confident this little one is also breech (u/s coming again next week to confirm). I think this again is mainly due to the uterine issues.

My biggest thing, as a pp said, is to just take it easy and have help. The recovery is longer - for me that just meant lots more hanging out on the couch snuggling with my little boy (no complaints at all) and bonding. I needed help getting up and down the stairs in our previous house...in reality I think all moms with new babies could use more help .

I can remember feeling stressed to learn that we needed to have a c-section that first time. I think I read "too much" and ended up freaking myself out more than was necessary.
post #80 of 97
DH just had a good idea. He suggested that I drink half a Red Bull to give my energy a kick start. (We keep them in the fridge for when DH has late nights for homework.) I usually avoid caffiene almost completely during pregnancy, but we both know I will feel much better and less depressed if I can just get a few things done. Then I will rest. I love my DH, he's the best.
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