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biracial children in the usa

post #1 of 35
Thread Starter 
hello

i am german and live in germany, together with my little daughter. her daddy is afro-american and lives in LA. we have a good relationship and want to visit him this year so he can see our daughter for the first time. we are very excited about the trip to come!

once, he mentioned on the phone that he rarely sees "black-white" couples in L.A. (sorry for the wrong word for it, please correct me if there is a better one), there are obviously a lot of caucasian-hispanic couples, but no african-american-caucasian couples or children. the most famous family is heidi klum (german) and seal (yummy!).

do you see a lot of couples on the street or is this a rare "picture" ? and how does the "general" american society think about interracial couples?

of course, with obama being the new president (yes, we can!) i hope that he helps open minds in america and everywhere.

sorry if my posting may be a bit confusing, i guess i just worry how our trip will be like.
post #2 of 35
Race, and inter-racial relationships are still very confused in America. Some places, people will barely notice you. In others they may just "forget" to serve your table in a restaurant.

Depending on what part of LA, you will probably get a funny look or two, but I wouldn't expect anything openly rude. His family may or may not be accepting, ask him how they feel. That can set the tone for the whole experience, IMO.
I know of many black American men, especially of earlier generations, who chose to stay in Germany with their German wives instead of taking her back home to face the poor reception from Americans of all colors. But things ARE getting better!!

OH, where in Germany are you? I'm near Trier.
post #3 of 35
Thread Starter 
mntnmom:

we live up north, in hamburg:and wait for the snow to come over christmas!

thanks for the info, i have to say i am a bit shocked over the possibility of not being served

of course, racism occurs all over the world, also in germany - even here it is more likely a hidden kind of racism (which doesnt make it better).

the family of my ex lives back in east-africa so it will only be the 3 of us.

btw, i have an aunt living in trier! nice area:
post #4 of 35
Hmm... I live in L.A., and it's so diverse here, I can't imagine anyone looking twice at a mixed-race family. I hope your trip is fabulous!
-e
post #5 of 35
We live in Pittsburgh--children come in all shades here. I doubt anyone would look twice at a multi-racial child here. There is such variety.

Oddly though, I don't actually see a lot of black-white couples around. Every once in a while, but it's not that common. Maybe would be more common if we lived closer to the university areas and downtown?

Dh is black and I am white, and even though we were "something different" in the little hick town we lived in before (appalachian/southwestern pa), we were never mistreated, and our children, if they were noticed at all, were admired and complimented up one side and down the other for their looks.

We have never left PA except for one short trip to VA and one to Wash. DC since we left, so I really have no clue what it's like in other parts of the country.
post #6 of 35
I think in many places in the US, interracial couples and their children are widely accepted. And generally even those who are less accepting keep their mouths shut. I've lived in Georgia, North Carolina, Mississippi and Louisiana and while things are so much better than they used to be, racism is still accepted in some places. About 10 years ago I used to spend a lot of time in LA. I lived in Mississippi and my boyfriend at the time was from Lafayette-New Iberia, LA area. We were both white, so I didn't experience racism firsthand, but I would see it. I remember seeing signs that had been nailed to tree's along Interstate 10 that said "David Duke For President", and I remember hearing comments from others that were obviously racist. Even as a white woman, I was held in prejudice when I applied for a technical job (more in the mans domain) that I was fully qualified for (maybe even a little over qualified), and was instead offered a job as the receptionist! Oh, I was so mad and didn't take the job.

I would think that if you are in a larger city, like NO or BR you might see less racism. Baton Rouge is a college town, and they are very proud of their college football team, the LSU Tigers. My ex was a huge fan and we went to a few games. I remember at that time the quarterback was AA, and people in the stands would yell, "Get that *horrible racial slur* off the field!"

I guess I'm saying be prepared to either witness it, or maybe even have such things directed towards you and your DD. It's horrible, really. It's so shameful that there are people still holding on to the hatred. Have explanations ready for your daughter if she's old enough to ask. I don't want to worry you, but I do think that being mentally prepared should you be faced with such a situation would be good. Since your DD's father is living there, hopefully he'll be able to guide you all around so that the places where these dark hearted people are won't be the same places you will be.

I hope you enjoy your visit to the US. Start working up your taste buds for some yummy spicy food! :
post #7 of 35
Where I live multi-racial families are less common than same race families, but not uncommon enough that people take notice.

I work in a school and in the 140 or so children in the grades I work with I can think of at least 10 (probably more, but those are the ones who come to mind) who have mixed ancestory, both black and white.

Also, I wanted to comment, because I know you're from another country, but in the U.S. the word "colored" or "coloured" has very specific, negative connotations when applied to African Americans due to it's use at specific times in our nation's history. Most AA/white families would refer to themselves as "multiracial" or "biracial" but not "multicoloured" for this reason.
post #8 of 35
congrats on your trip! Thats quite a trek! I know that I live in a "less progressive" area of the country and even here 99% of the population will not say anything, either assuming you adopted or the father is another race. 1% will make ignorant racist comments. The 1% is to be ignored :
post #9 of 35
It's very unpredictable. Be prepared for discrimination, but you might very well not encounter anything serious at all during your visit.
post #10 of 35
In larger towns and cities very few will think twice about it. There may be certain nieghborhoods that it is better to avoid, but those don't tend to be areas people gravitate to anyway.
post #11 of 35
I am in Fort Worth Texas, and there are many multi racial couples here. Noone i know really thinks twice about it, there are some that do (but i would assume you would get that anywhere)
post #12 of 35
It certainly depends on where you live. I live in NYC, so multiracial couples/families are not such a rarity. If you go to some areas, though, you may get looks or the odd comment.
post #13 of 35
It really does depend on the location. Some places aren't as open minded but even those places people know better than to say something especially to a child.

In my state (Hawaii) multicultural families are the norm. No one looks twice at interracial couples or multicultural families. There's a lot of diversity in Hawaii.

I hope you enjoy your visit here.
post #14 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momily View Post
ancestory, both black and white.

Also, I wanted to comment, because I know you're from another country, but in the U.S. the word "colored" or "coloured" has very specific, negative connotations when applied to African Americans due to it's use at specific times in our nation's history. Most AA/white families would refer to themselves as "multiracial" or "biracial" but not "multicoloured" for this reason.

That's a good point. Words carry so much history and weight.

OP, I think you probably know not to use the word "Negro" either. You didn't use it at all but I thought I'd throw it out there because I have an uncle who lives in a foreign country and he refers to African Americans as "Negroes". He isn't trying to be racist. He doesn't realize it's not an acceptable term in the USA anymore.
post #15 of 35
I notice interracial couples all the time where I live (suburbs of New York). It's not super common, but not super rare, either. More than half of the kids my son plays with are are of multiracial backgrounds actually, though none happen to be black/white. There's a family on the next street over that we met on Halloween with a daughter his age, though -- which reminds me I *still* haven't gotten it together to go say "hi" again .... Grrr. I'm so disorganized.

Anyway, I've never yet noticed anyone giving my husband and me weird looks. (He's Indian, not black, but has dark skin, which I most emphatically don't.) I'm pretty oblivious, though. My husband notices it occasionally. It's funny that someone mentioned Hawaii. My husband loooooves it there (so do I), not least because of that.
post #16 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuckyMommaToo View Post
Hmm... I live in L.A., and it's so diverse here, I can't imagine anyone looking twice at a mixed-race family. I hope your trip is fabulous!
-e
I believe OP is referring to Louisiana - the postal abbreviation is LA.
post #17 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by mean_jeannie View Post
I believe OP is referring to Louisiana - the postal abbreviation is LA.
I thought she meant Los Angeles too. If she means Louisiana then that is a very different story.
post #18 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by eepster View Post
I thought she meant Los Angeles too. If she means Louisiana then that is a very different story.
Oh, yes! Now I went back and re-read her post and I am unsure which she means!
post #19 of 35
i can comment as a black/white (with out going into the gillion countries) person in los angeles but not louisiana)

it's all good (most gennerally) in los Angeles! actually where i have been in louisiana it has been good too, but there is lot of louisiana i have not been too.
post #20 of 35
I live in a medium sized city in the northeast, and black/white couples are very common around here. There are some UAVs who might be negative behind your back, but I doubt anyone would be openly nasty. In a small town, though, it could be a different story.

OT, but my DF is German, from near Bielefeld. I'm using his laptop right now, and have to keep retyping the y's and z's. Are you guys waiting for a visa too? We've been waiting over a year just to get the paperwork we need to apply in the first place, and our DD was born in the meantime.
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