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post #21 of 35
I'm in the middle of the Midwest married to a wonderful and very African dh My kids are obviously mixed and all I ever hear is how cute they are.

*WE* don't get out together much, , but when we do here---we've never not had our table served or had anything negative happen.
post #22 of 35
But do you notice how there's rarely black-white couples in television? TV shows or advertising. One of the things I like about the home design channel is they so frequently have "real" looking couples, whether it's an older lesbian couple or a young inter-racial couple, they don't seem to care because the focus is on the kitchen remodel and the family is secondary to their before/after home photos.

I don't watch a lot of TV, but what I do, it's just something I rarely see. (Although I was excited to see the most recent episode of House!) TV and movies in general seems to be divided into "black" and "white" targeted audiences. Even shows that have cross-appeal like Bernie Mac, it's like the industry considers it "white people who like a black show."

Okay, I've sort of hijacked this in another direction, I'm sorry. We just judge standards a lot more than we realize by what we see on TV... for example most people think that most people's houses look like those on TV when in reality the TV sitcom settings are usually above-average class-wise. One study found that people who watch a lot of TV estimate the number of friends they have as higher than people who watch less TV. So, back to my point, maybe we think we see fewer inter-racial couples than we actually do because of media influence?

(And if that's true, I think we should all be writing to the networks to encourage them to show more inter-racial couples as a way of fighting racism.)
post #23 of 35
i think it all depends on where you are and some places are definitely more liberal than others. in a country built on racism and oppression, some people have yet to overcome that hurdle and see people as simply being people.
post #24 of 35
I've known quite a few black-white couples, although most tend to be black man, white woman. (I've just met my first black woman-white man couple.) Is that typical, do you think, or just a coincidence?

FWIW my husband is Puerto Rican and our two kids look nothing like one another. I've experienced some racism after changing my last name to his, which is ironic. He was born and grew up in the U.S. and I was born in another country, but no one knew? cared? until I changed my name to a Hispanic one. (My naiden name was def. foreign too but not Hispanic.). And now all of the sudden, I've noticed subtle racism. It's quite weird.

Example: Once I was in a crowded doctor's office with DD. I was the only white-looking individual. The doctor came out and read off my name from the chart. I go up to him and he barks at me to sit down and wait my turn. I tell him he just called me and he said "I called XYZ, not you." in a snarky voice. : I tell him that IS me and he then looked quite apologetic... People definitely have odd expectations on race.
post #25 of 35
in NYC they're a dime a dozen. I have tons, literally TONS of friends who have one black parent and one white parent. You see it all the time. No one bats an eye.
post #26 of 35
Originally Posted by mean_jeannie View Post
I believe OP is referring to Louisiana - the postal abbreviation is LA.
OOOHHHHHH!! I was SO confused. LOL
post #27 of 35

multiracial couples

I'm a child of a biracial couple, as is my partner. I was born and brought up in the UK, my father is from Africa. My partner is African American and Euro American.

While I don't think you have too much to be concerned about I tend to disagree with others that no one will notice, say anything, etc. It all depends on how sensitive you are to it, I suppose, and judging by your concern I'm guessing you'll be a bit more aware of it.

My partner and I look a lot alike so we don't get comments about that per se. But we get a lot of weird questions veiled in "friendly curiosity" such as "You're both so exotic looking. What are you?" To which we often respond vegetarian or I'm a woman and he's a man. Of course, people generally don't find that amusing and perhaps we should be more serious if we want to effect change but it does get tiring. As children out with our parents we both got a lot of comments and experienced some pretty aggressive racism at times but I think that will be more unlikely nowadays. So my point is you might get some seemingly polite people peering at your child and asking is she both of yours and their response to your response might vary. You may only experience a few curious looks but those might feel just as bad or you might get nothing at all. I'll admit I sometimes find myself fascinated by multiracial families and I may appear to be staring in a strange way! The truth is I just feel so moved and emotional when I see the people around them simply accepting them. So don't always judge those looks as negative! Either way I hope you have a lovely trip and I suggest you try to let it roll off your back as much as possible. You deserve to be a family as much as anyone else and you'll be a beautiful family just like everyone else.

My partner are I are expecting our first child next month and we're both a bit curious as to how it is going to play out for she/he. We're both worried they'll experience some of the hurtful things we did but since we look a lot a like we wonder if she/he will avoid the adoption, is that really your mother, how come you're so dark questions. Then again who knows which of our blood lines he/she might take after!
post #28 of 35
I live in Atlanta, GA where interracial families are common. Most of the time its AA man and a CC woman or CC man and Asian woman. Sometimes you will see AA woman and CC man. My ex-girlfriend and I were an Asian and AA couple respectfully and we NEVER saw couples like us.

The reason why the OP's husband probably won't see very many AA/CC couples is because there are not very many AAs in LA to begin with. Only 7% of the population indentify themselves as AA. Whereas, Latino, Caucasian and Asian people are pretty much everywhere (except maybe the extremely affluent neigbhorhoods like Beverly Hills- but there may be exceptions)
post #29 of 35
I live across the river from St. Louis, and we've got just about every kind of couple around here. It always warms my heart to see them, because I tought I was the *only* (Gasp, the dra-ma) kid with a mom darker than her dad when I was younger (mom's American Indian, tho she doesn't know which sort. Lousy adoption records burned up, like I'm told they always do. grumble grumble). Especially when this older couple comes into the store I work at. They're so sweet. And imagine back in the day when they got together! The things they must have gone through! At any rate, unless you're in a really backwards place, people don't tend to look twice. Unless they're me, and I only do it to smile.
post #30 of 35
Thread Starter 
hello again and thank you so much for all these answers:

the trip is closer to come (ok, we plan to come in may, but its close in my mind) and we are really getting excited. our daughter is just turning 3 so for her its gonna be even more exciting (even the fact to fly on an airplane and to see her dad for the first time).

thanks for the comments on the terminology, i just edited my original text above. of course, the "N..."word is never being used, i am very sensitive in this matter. even where i live (hamburg, one of germanies biggest cities up north) you'll find still some people who use that word. i always explain to them why it is not to be used but am shocked at the same time that they dont know.

i also noticed that there arent too many interracial couples on tv, same in my country though.
post #31 of 35

Just wanted to add my 2 cents. I live in NYC and we do get looks from people, but not really stared at. We only get stared at when we go into a predominately Eastern European area. My DH and I don't get too frazzled about it anymore.
We sort of made a game of it. If one of us spots someone glaring at us we will say 'Your cousin is looking at us' or 'Look your friend is looking'. Or sometimes we let the person/people know that we see them. We'll wave or give them a big smile, you should see their faces when we do that,
post #32 of 35
My husband is dark skinned, and looks biracial (AA/CC)...although he isn't sure about his heritage (his mom looks white, but has some Native American. His father was dark skinned and from what we can gather is probably Native American and perhaps Turkish.) I am Hispanic and CC, although I look very white. We occasionally get looks here, but not too often. However, we did travel to Atlanta a few months ago, and wow, was that an experience! We walked into a Zaxby's full of middle aged white people in a rural Georgia town (off the interstate a little) and EVERYONE turned and looked at us. They followed us with their eyes the entire time we were in there...we just cuddled up, kissed, got our food, and got out! Then, when we were in underground Atlanta, we got some more stares, both from AA and CC people.

Like I said, we don't get much open racism. However, people do always ask my parents 'what is Cody?' and sometimes we get a hint of veiled racism from various family members...ugh. It makes me sick sometimes.

We always notice other multi-cultural families when we are out. I can't wait to see what our little girl is going to look like!!!
post #33 of 35
Thread Starter 
thank you both for your answers

Originally Posted by ihugtrees View Post
Then, when we were in underground Atlanta, we got some more stares, both from AA and CC people.
what does AA and CC mean?
since i live in europe this may be something i need to know? do people also use this phrase verbal or just written?
and congrats on your belly-baby!

post #34 of 35
Originally Posted by whooopsy View Post
thank you both for your answers

what does AA and CC mean?
since i live in europe this may be something i need to know? do people also use this phrase verbal or just written?
and congrats on your belly-baby!


AA=African American

Most people that I know say White instead of Caucasian. It's 50/50 between saying African American or Black. However, in a conversation you would never say AA or CC
post #35 of 35
I live in Houston and people dont tend to even notice a CC/AA couple, they are everywhere, those Biracial kids are the cutest ever, people tend to notice the kids then the couple lol.

But if you are a american/arab couple then you will get noticed people here still dont like arabs/muslims and look at them like they are from another plant lol. But it doesnt bother me cause I love my arab/muslim man hehehe.
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