Response suggestions please.

[marlee]

Okay here's the situation. I haven't done much research on circumsizing. I just knew my ds would be left intact.

All my friends boys are intact

ALL my nephews are circumsized

So I am often carrying ds around with no diaper (we ec) or putting his diaper on and off. I feel somewhat funny (for lack of a better word?) about him being intact, Like the family will look at him and bring it up. Just out of curiosity perhaps. So what do I say, all my siblings have had procedures done so they won't be having any more children. I don't want to be too harsh, but I strongly feel circumsizing is 'wrong'. I'm thinking if I have some rehearsed comments I won't feel 'funny' about it.

Did you get ds circumsized?
So what would you say to family who did choose to circumsize (but won't be having more children) about your intact son?

Thanks.

[Greg B]

How about:

If men were meant to have foreskin, they would have been born with it.

Circumcision: Any way you slice it, it's mutilation

Circumcision: The more you know, the worse it is.

Being born male is not a birth defect.

Does being a healthy male require surgical correction?

Regards

[RMM1117]

Originally Posted by Greg B

How about:

If men were meant to have foreskin, they would have been born with it.

Ditto!

[AntoninBeGonin]

How about either "My baby was born healthy and didn't require immediate surgery on his genitals (privates)" or "I'm extremely opposed to circumcision. If you actually care to hear why I'd be happy to explain."

[ColoradoMama]

How about, "We believe the choice to alter his genitals should be left up to him?"

[Galatea]

Originally Posted by AntoninBeGonin

"I'm extremely opposed to circumcision. If you actually care to hear why I'd be happy to explain."

This is how I would handle it.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

"We believe the choice to alter his genitals should be left up to him?"

I like this one. I also like the "I'm extremely opposed to circumcision. If you actually care to hear why I'd be happy to explain."

[mntnmom]

Originally Posted by ColoradoMama

How about, "We believe the choice to alter his genitals should be left up to him?"

I think it's the most non-confrontational way to start the conversation. If they are interested you can *gently* start debunking their assumptions without losing them all together.

[Lit Chick]

I headed all that off by announcing to everyone that DS ws intact, and if the had any questions feel free to ask. No one had any questions.

But in your situation, I would go with the "I'm extremely opposed to circumcision. If you actually care to hear why I'd be happy to explain."

Because you are dealing with people who did circ (very likely because they did not know any better) and getting all up in their face about "mutilation" will be along the lines of "you TERRIBLE abusive ignorant parent!"

I think it's hideous, but I was nearly a cutter myself. If I did not have a homebirthing friend who showed me that traditional american hospitals were not my only choice, <shudder>.

[njbeachgirl]

My SIL circ'd her two boys, and she was watching me change my (intact of course) DS' diaper the other day. I was wondering if she would say anything about it but she didn't.

I think my response would depend on the tone of the person saying something.... like if it was just a casual "oh, he's not circumcised", I would respond that we don't believe in circumcision and here's why. But if it was a rude comment about intact penises being wrong or gross or whatever you can bet I would give a rude answer.

Even though pretty much everyone in both our families are circ'd as fas as I know, I have not had any comments about our decision not to.

[Dev]

How about saying....

Leaving HIS penis whole and intact preserves the protective, sensory, and sexual functions of his prepuce. Amputating his prepuce via circumcision takes those important functions away. Plus no medical association on the planet recommends little boys be circumcised.

[3pink1blue]

When my MIL asked why we didn't circ DS, I said, horrified, "WHY would we EVER do that to him!?"

DH is circ'ed, MIL is ... um, let's just say we don't get along that great. I was sick of her passive/agressiveness.

For my SIL, who circ'ed her two boys, all I said was "We couldn't come to an agreement on whether to circ or not, so we decided to leave it up to him." I know SIL would feel terrible for circing if she knew, and right now she has a difficult case of PPD, so I don't feel any need to make her feel worse.

[Christine_T]

You aren't exactly helping the cause by covering him up and being ashamed of him. You might even subconsciously make him feel bad that he is intact.

Be proud and when people ask you explain your decision to them. Education is the only way to turn the tide against circumcision.

[chaoticzenmom]

I know you don't want to hurt them, but I think you're overthinking it. A lot of people don't know what an intact penis looks like and may think that he's just extra large. If anything is asked it'll be something like "oh, did you not have him circumcized? Then, you can calmly state "nope, we left him just as he was born."

You might get some questions such as "do you have to pull back his skin?" etc. Just state the facts about how easy it is.

You don't have to justify your decision, just answer curious questions if you feel like it. You might even mention that all of your friends sons are intact as well, so it's becoming more and more common to leave babies intact.

I actually like people to see my sons intact....when they're babies and toddlers of course. I want people to know that we didn't do that to our kids.

[JJ'sMom]

It is pretty similar in my family, and all I said was "Well, it's his penis, so he can decide."


Then if they continue the questions, I'll explain the details.

Julia

[latinalonestar]

You shouldn't feel funny about it. You should feel PROUD! You did the right thing. His body, his choice. I wouldn't bring it up unless they do. Then if they make comments you can give them and ear full. Just be sure they know to NEVER try to retract your ds if they ever babysit for you.

[My*Scorpio]

I like the answers that say the choice should be left up to him. I have had many, many IRL debates about circ. The human rights aspect is the hardest for the pro-circers to argue.

[perspective]

Originally Posted by marlee

Okay here's the situation. I haven't done much research on circumsizing. I just knew my ds would be left intact.

All my friends boys are intact

ALL my nephews are circumsized

So I am often carrying ds around with no diaper (we ec) or putting his diaper on and off. I feel somewhat funny (for lack of a better word?) about him being intact, Like the family will look at him and bring it up. Just out of curiosity perhaps. So what do I say, all my siblings have had procedures done so they won't be having any more children. I don't want to be too harsh, but I strongly feel circumsizing is 'wrong'. I'm thinking if I have some rehearsed comments I won't feel 'funny' about it.

Did you get ds circumsized?
So what would you say to family who did choose to circumsize (but won't be having more children) about your intact son?

Thanks.

Just be really honest, and just say, you thought about it and you could not find a reason to do it. You found there was not significant medical reason, and all your friends kids are intact, so you saw no social reason.


Or more simply say, "I just never thought I was going to do it, its his body, his choice. I just never figured there was a decision to make."

[Erinz]

Same situation here - my husband's nephew is in a different state so the first time we saw them our son was 4 months old. I actually couldn't wait to show off his intact penis and really hoped I'd get some questions about it. I did! I was surprised at how respectful everyone was and really wanted to know more about our "choice" of not circumcising. I said the same thing I do when friends have asked me what we did about it and that answer is "I very strongly believe all people have an inherent and absolute right to make decisions about their genitals for themselves. I see this as a basic human right, and any non-medical cutting or slicing as a human rights violation."

I say it in a nice way so that it doesn't come off too extreme sounding. I've actually heard, more than once, "wow I never thought about it that way"

I've saved a few foreskins with this approach and knowing that makes me very very very very proud.

I always donate to nocirc.org in celebration hehe

[Night_Nurse]

Originally Posted by Erinz

"

I've saved a few foreskins with this approach and knowing that makes me very very very very proud.

I always donate to nocirc.org in celebration hehe

I love that!