How to encourage practicing an instrument

[koru]

I couldn't figure out where to post this so since we homeschool I thought I'd ask you all ~

DD1, 5.5, started taking violin lessons about a month ago. She was SO excited & would skip around with glee on lesson days. But....her excitement is already waning. Completely. She's refusing to practice & says she doesn't want to play anymore. We've determined that she's frustrated with her slow progress & she just wants to play songs! I've tried talking with her about how one plays songs (learning how to use the bow, how to play the strings, tempo, etc). She's too young to grasp all that & is simply refusing to continue. A friend of mine said that young children need to be given 6 months before allowing them to quit because this is how long it takes for them to get in a groove.

So what do we do?

[Mary-Beth]

Is she doing Suzuki violin?

The steps could be broken down so she is able to feel successful and see progress...this should be a fun process and so the goal is to see what can be done to make this fun for her.

My daughters are taking violin lessons by a Suzuki method teacher. So that's all I know. I don't know how traditional lessons and Suzuki differ.

What is she working on specifically? We started with Twinkle but even that is broken down into rhythms and they had poems and finger puppets and such. So the idea was that it was always playful. I've also learned that we focus on one skill at a time (bow hold, or violin position, or tone, etc.) and always celebrate what your child did well/improved upon.

It also helps to see other young kids who are playing violin. Do you go to a group class? It helps to see others who are playing well, who are struggling, who make mistakes but keep trying...

Best wishes!

[christinar]

My daughter has been doing Suzuki violin since she was four (she's 6.5 now) - just like I did. Two things helped us the most re: practicing.

First, we do it EVERY day. Suzuki has a saying, "You only have to practice on the days that you eat". Sometimes it may only be for five minutes, other times for 30; but unless she's literally sick in bed or throwing up, she does SOMETHING every day. Our teacher gave us a "100 days in a row" practice chart that we put stickers on (esp in the beginning, now it's not as big of a deal). I highlighted day 50 and day 100. At day 50, we go to Barnes & Noble and she gets to pick out any book she wants. At day 100, we do something special - go to Jokers or out for ice cream. At 365 days, I made her a trophy, and her most recent milestone, 500 days, she got her ears pierced.

The thing is, it's hard for ME to do everyday, but it's easier for HER. It's not negotiable, and there is much, much less whining. It's something we just do everyday, like brushing teeth or eating. We've violined in hotel rooms, while camping, and taken the violin on the plane. Every once in a while, we do skip a day and then do TWO separate practices the next day. But mostly, it's every single day - this has helped her improve (and like it more), and just helped us be consistent.

The other thing is playing games! Part of the resistance to practicing, at least at my house, is the whole "do I have to do it" and the other part is "am I going to have fun". A good teacher will give you ideas on how to make it fun (puppets, coin games, card games etc.); you can also do some reading online or in books. I found Dr. Suzuki's Nurtured by Love inspiring (http://www.amazon.com/Nurtured-Love-...9886058&sr=8-1) and Helping Parents Practice by Edmund Sprunger (http://www.sharmusic.com/itemdy00.asp?T1=H272P&Cat=) was incredibly helpful.

I agree with the pp re: group lessons and playing with other children. Our 2x/month group lessons definitely make things fun and seeing what other kids can play that she'll be working on soon is motivating as well.

Hope this helps - good luck! And let me know if I can help - I love talking about this!

[koru]

DD is taking "modified Suzuki" according to her instructor. He's the orchestra teacher/conductor at the high school where DH works & he gives private lessons on the side. (I don't know why he calls it "modified Suzuki" but I'll ask him today). DD is using a Suzuki book to learn & Twinkle Twinkle will be her first song, too. And finger puppets? How does that work? We have a ton of them so I can easily incorporate that.

I'm going to ask him about group lessons, as well. I never thought of this possiblity but it makes complete sense with the little ones. We have a Suzuki violin instructor at our church and she suggested this to me yesterday. She also has a Suzuki CD that she's going to give me for DD to listen to while she plays, eats, etc.

And I think I need to use some sort of incentive chart, too. Right now I have a couple signs posted around the house saying "Have you played your violin today?" DD recommended it because her cousing has something similar for her ballet....but I changed the word "practice" to "play." I agree that it needs to be seen as fun & not a chore. I've tried & tried! I even rented a violin for myself so we can play together!

Thanks for the ideas, mamas. Again, I'm going to talk with her teacher today & see if he has other little students she can play with on occasion. I don't think we can afford a private and a group lesson each week but hopefully we can work something out!

[sapphire_chan]

One thing that helped me was to "get out of" a chore because I was practicing. Of course, that was as a teenager...

[chaos_pie]

Routine really helps. We ALWAYS practice piano right after breakfast, so there isn't anything to be encouraged, that is just "what we do". I am thinking to what we did to establish this (my dd was slightly younger than yours when she began piano). I think that we would have the beloved "gummi" vitamins and fish balls (those little glycerin balls of fish oil) after we practiced, that seemed an incentive to practice well and efficiently. I also was/am always at the piano with her-- encouraging and supporting.

But, I also need to ad, so as not to let you believe that music practice has been a merry walk in the park, it can be very intense and emotion-wrought in our house. My dd is a perfectionist and learning something new, when she wants to be instantly perfect, has been very challenging for her, and for me!!! We have even had to switch teachers to find one that would be more supportive-- interestingly, it is a Suzuki teacher who seems to incorporate enough different strands that dd has been feeling much more successful and competent (rhythm practice on drums, playing "Musical Space Invaders", playing songs by ear, and sight reading).

[water]

Originally Posted by chaos_pie

R My dd is a perfectionist and learning something new, when she wants to be instantly perfect, has been very challenging for her, and for me!!! We have even had to switch teachers to find one that would be more supportive-- interestingly, it is a Suzuki teacher who seems to incorporate enough different strands that dd has been feeling much more successful and competent (rhythm practice on drums, playing "Musical Space Invaders", playing songs by ear, and sight reading).

Yes, we have this issue too, my ds is a perfectionist and HATES learning new music because he makes mistakes.

One thing that I've found which really has helped him over the longer term is to video him just as soon as he can bash through a piece, and then wait several weeks and watch the video again after he has polished the piece somewhat. This way he really gets to see the progress he has made, even if it doesn't feel to him like he is making any.

[Mary-Beth]

Listening to the music will help so much...then as you learn the songs you can make up words or find words on-line that others have put to the songs...

Even the first Twinkle songs are broken down into pieces. So she should learn the first rhythm -- "Everybody Jump Up" is what we called it. Then as she learns more rhythms... You can do fun things like draw a picture of balloons and each time she plays you color in a balloon.
Start slow and take little steps so she is really successful and you stop before she is tired of playing. Put on shows for dolls or stuffed animals, show Daddy or someone what you learned today!

As you go to lessons you should see what the teacher is working on and get ideas from him on what to do at home.

[MSings]

Is it possible that the teacher is not a good match? How many 5 year olds does he teach? When will she learn a song-even one with all open strings? Some teachers can be so rigid in the order they teach violin that it kills the student's love of learning.

My son is now 6 months into violin lessons at age 7. The first 2-3 months were incredibly painful and practicing was a struggle for both of us but he never wanted to quit. I would even ask him if he wanted to quit and he would say no. I wanted to quit but he did not. It was his decision to start lessons and he has stuck it out.

I also agree with the poster(s) that said "practice every day". This really helps. First, because eventually they do get better and they can hear their own progress and second, because then it is not a choice-it is just part of life.

And if she hates lessons and hates to practice, I would seriously consider letting her quit. It might be the wrong instrument for her or the wrong teacher or the wrong time, but she is still very young and there are many other ways to nourish her love of music.

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by koru

IA friend of mine said that young children need to be given 6 months before allowing them to quit because this is how long it takes for them to get in a groove.

That idea really makes me wince.

I've never understood forcing musical studies it at any age. I have a friend, as one example, who made her son study piano - she sat at the bench with him every day for I forget how many years to encourage him while he practiced. He hated it. He whined and pleaded to stop the whole time, even though he got pretty good at it. She tried to ignore his complaints until she just couldn't take it anymore, and she finally let him quit. He's grown now, and he still remembers all that with a lot of anger - he didn't want to do it and he hasn't touched a piano since. They have a wonderful relationship now, and she really regrets not honoring his wishes back then. She would have been a lot better off studying piano herself. - Lillian

[moominmamma]

Originally Posted by koru

(I don't know why he calls it "modified Suzuki"

It's certainly modified if he doesn't insist on group classes in addition to individual instruction, or the primacy of listening the the CD. Those are absolute hallmarks of the Suzuki approach. I'm thrilled to hear that he's calling it "modified" rather than pretending that by using the repertoire he's teaching Suzuki as many teachers do.

There's a recent thread over in unschooling that might have some ideas for you on the practicing issue.

Miranda

[moominmamma]

Originally Posted by Lillian J

That idea really makes me wince.

I have a different spin on that idea, and so it doesn't make me wince. Most kids really want to be able to play their instruments and enjoy their lessons, and it's just that the practicing isn't working well for them. Issues with practicing are interfering with a basic desire to play the instrument. I think that it takes about six months for parent and child to work the kinks out of the practicing routine, to try a few creative solutions, to work collaboratively to try to smooth out the kinks. Tossing in the towel at the first sign of difficulty is a missed opportunity for collaborative problem-solving and the demonstration of parental commitment to a child's learning interests. I also think that children really benefit from learning that it's normal for motivation to wax and wane a bit, and with creativity and new perspectives we can positively affect our interest and motivation.

I teach violin and there have been occasions when I've told a parent and student who are having trouble with the practicing "Let's work together from now until the end of term to try to figure out what's getting in the way of you enjoying your practicing. I've got a few ideas and I'm sure you have a few. Let's mix things up a bit and see if we can fix this. If we can't fix what's wrong by then, sure, you probably should quit at least for a while. But I'm willing to bet that we'll have it licked by then." And we almost always do.

That's very different from saying "you have to stick with this, as-is, for 6 months." It's saying "something needs to change to make you happy -- so let's take the next six months to fix it." I think the six months advice can be very helpful, with the right spin.

Miranda

[dannic]

Do you play? A big factor for us is that DH plays piano and my children see me learning to ply guitar--example really inspires them.

[theretohere]

Originally Posted by Lillian J

That idea really makes me wince.

I've never understood forcing musical studies it at any age. I have a friend, as one example, who made her son study piano - she sat at the bench with him every day for I forget how many years to encourage him while he practiced. He hated it. He whined and pleaded to stop the whole time, even though he got pretty good at it. She tried to ignore his complaints until she just couldn't take it anymore, and she finally let him quit. He's grown now, and he still remembers all that with a lot of anger - he didn't want to do it and he hasn't touched a piano since. They have a wonderful relationship now, and she really regrets not honoring his wishes back then. She would have been a lot better off studying piano herself. - Lillian

First, I think that there is a huge difference is sticking something out for 6 months then years. It's a definite time frame with an end in sight if the kid genuinely resents learning an instrument instead of disliking practicing, especially since with most instruments you can NOT just sit down and in a week's time play music.

I've played various instruments since I was a preteen and have gone through periods of hating practice. But they have been fleeting- and usually happened when I was at a difficult area or right between skill sets. It would have been awful if temporary dislike for practice had led to a cessation of playing!

I don't think that you should spend years forcing musical practice of someone, whether or not they are good. I do think it's reasonable to set a decent time period, and 6 months is pretty standard, to give it a fair shot. It's time to learn reading music, some rhythmic elements- and to actually start making music rather then random notes and proper finger positioning.

[Mizelenius]

My advice is to schedule a regular performance-- just one or two things she has been working on-- for the family. When I played instruments, playing in front of other people was a BIG motivation. Since she has just started, her "performances" for several weeks could be showing family members how to hold the violin properly, how to put rosin on the bow, etc. Once she learns even a simple "song" (maybe it's just playing an open "A") I would find a way to accompany her on the piano. Playing with other people was always the biggest thrill!

This thread has so many good ideas! I am filing them away for when I actually regularly begin to teach DD music.

[koru]

More great ideas. Thanks, all! I do play the piano but should probably sit down & actually play more often. And I rented a violin to start learning with DD in hopes that this will inspire her to practice. (plus, it just looks like fun!)

I can already see she's getting over her hump, though. Yesterday she learned to play open E & A which was exciting. She's actually quite good! Her ability to play the notes is remarkable (no screeching or blending....not sure if those are technical words ) but she needs to work on not flopping around her bow arm....and tempo. The girl doesn't have a natural rhythm going on in her head!

I like the performance idea. That might be a good substitute for group lessons (combined with playing with me).

And Miranda, I found the unschooling thread the same day I posted mine & I appreciated your blog post. Very well written & some good info & ideas!

One last thing I keep thinking is that I just need to be more playful. I can be pretty silly & have the ability to think of fun ways to do things....but it takes conscious effort!? Her teacher is a silly guy & motivates her in a snap. Granted, he's not her parent but while watching the lesson yesterday I realized how fun-loving & cool he is. I need to be that more often.

[theretohere]

Originally Posted by koru

More great ideas. Thanks, all! I do play the piano but should probably sit down & actually play more often. And I rented a violin to start learning with DD in hopes that this will inspire her to practice. (plus, it just looks like fun!)

I can already see she's getting over her hump, though. Yesterday she learned to play open E & A which was exciting. She's actually quite good! Her ability to play the notes is remarkable (no screeching or blending....not sure if those are technical words ) but she needs to work on not flopping around her bow arm....and tempo. The girl doesn't have a natural rhythm going on in her head!

I like the performance idea. That might be a good substitute for group lessons (combined with playing with me).

And Miranda, I found the unschooling thread the same day I posted mine & I appreciated your blog post. Very well written & some good info & ideas!

One last thing I keep thinking is that I just need to be more playful. I can be pretty silly & have the ability to think of fun ways to do things....but it takes conscious effort!? Her teacher is a silly guy & motivates her in a snap. Granted, he's not her parent but while watching the lesson yesterday I realized how fun-loving & cool he is. I need to be that more often.

For tempo- have you tried a metronome? There are some free online ones to give it a try.