week end rhythm - do you have one? Is it even possible?

[yukookoo]

I feel like i finally have a good daily rhythm going. It has really helped both DD and I feel well physically, eat better, sleep better and get things done. We are actually getting outside every day, getting art activities in, cleaning, having calm time before bed. Have routines, blessings, songs, for things.

Enter DH -
he is really only home on the weekends. He comes home very late and leaves early during the week. I now put DD to bed at 9. I feel that this is a good compromise. She wakes up at 8 in the morning. DH leaves at various time in the morning and comes home usually after 10. At times he is home right at 9. Of course this is very upsetting to him that he doesnt get to see her. He feels her schedule should revolve around his. For a while she was going to bed as late as 12 in order to accommodate seeing him. At night and int he evening all she wants is mom. She is still nursing quit a bit at night and cosleeps with me in her nursery, Dh sleeps in the bedroom down the hall (DD is a very light sleeper and dh snores). I know it really sucks for him tonever see her, but i really feel she needs to be going to bed earlier and waking earlier. When she goes to bed so late she wakes mid after nood=n! Then we miss all activities and we are both just off.

ANyway that was really more of a vent

weekend is completely off. All I really expect is for her to take her nap at the same time on weekdays and weekends and go to bed at the same time. She sleeps in a little in the morning and cuddles with dad in bed . I also expect that we offer her food at the same time each day, breakfast, lunch, dinner and 3 snacks. I'm more relaxed about the snacks but at least breakfast lunch and dinner.

Anyway my question was how are other's rhythms on the weekends? Do you manage to at least eat and sleep at the same times?

I searched for other posts on waldorf weekeds specifically and didnt find any. I will also look in sahm but I was curious about waldorf families too.

[Bird Girl]

Weekend rhythms are a challenge at our house, too. I always feel out of sorts by the end of the day, and I think it's really just being off my schedule. I'm going to try to be more proactive about discussing it with DH--right after the holidays, which always through everything off.

It's too bad that your DH has to work such long hours. I completely agree, however, that a young child cannot be expected to stay up past 9 o'clock--our bedtime is even earlier, at 8 o'clock! I realize that it might put his career somewhat on the "daddy track," but has he considered coming home earlier, say by 7 o'clock or so? Perhaps he could try switching to a performance-based evalutation system with his manager, so that so much face time won't be the only way to judge his work. Over the long term, it can't be healthy to spend so much time at work, and it will damage his relationship with his child if he can't see her every day, or nearly so. And she cannot stay up--that's far too late--so he needs to come home to see her.

[mum21andtwins]

I don't have a clue let me know when you figure it out cause weekends are a mayor pita here too!

[SageR]

Our weekends are wacky too. I used to get upset about it but now I make a real effort to let it go.

I hope it doesn't sound too harsh, but I think we need to try to give our dps a break. I see they aren't on board, aren't accomodating with certain things -significant changes that we want to make after we've married and had our children. Speaking from personal experience - the stress we create by trying to make things a specific way when we need to be flexible is much more harmful than dc taking a nap or getting dinner at a different time than usual. Adhering to a routine no matter what is not a rhythm, it's a schedule. And if the weekend is the only time our dps and dcs get to be together, isn't it healthier for them to just be together?

Dh's long work hours are what make it possible for me to have the rhythm I love so much during the week. Without his income I wouldn't be at home and probably wouldn't be incorporating Waldorf principles into our lifestyle, period. I was always pretty crunchy, but I got much more so after the babies came. In a sense, dh did not sign up for this. I'm thankful he goes along with most of my ideas. So weekends are dh's. It's a compromise but in the big picture I'm not losing much.

That's not to say I don't look forward to Sunday nights

[RollerCoasterMama]

Now I don't feel so bad...we haven't had much luck establishing a rhythym yet...mostly because I only have the weekends and a couple of hours each week day (during which everyone must be fed, snuggled, and put to bed). Rhythyms are hard when working full time! Hopefully we'll get better at it.

[racheleuphoria]

First, I have to agree with the PP that you are correct to insist that your DD sleep on a schedule appropriate for a child. As you know, she simply needs to sleep at night and be awake during the day. It's only natural.

That said, with your DH's current committments, it's important that the weekends are a special time. Perhaps you could think of family oriented actions that could happen each weekend to give them some shape. For example, we eat dinner at the inlaws each saturday (which has it's pros and cons, of course!), go to church Sunday morning and do dinner with friends Sunday night. That gives our weekends a rythym while keeping us all together.

Other ideas are gardening, playing games or building toys together. Even if you only do it for an hour every Saturday afternoon, it's special. Also, don't forget about the possibility of having a nice pancake breakfast each weekend!

Yes, we definitely stick to naptimes and mealtimes as much as possible on weekends (though, I often forget about snacks until my children are showing signs of needing to eat ).

Rachel
EuphoriaBaby.com
EuphoriaMaternity.com

[notwonamesalike]

I guess we can't really claim to be a waldorf family. We're intrigued by some of the ideas, and we love natural, open ended toys - but I don't understand rhythms.

It's the part of me that loves spontaneity that doesn't understand rhythm or schedules, plans, whatever it's called.

[spottiew]

Originally Posted by notwonamesalike

I guess we can't really claim to be a waldorf family. We're intrigued by some of the ideas, and we love natural, open ended toys - but I don't understand rhythms.

It's the part of me that loves spontaneity that doesn't understand rhythm or schedules, plans, whatever it's called.

im not waldorf either, but kid very much has his own natural rhythm... he isn't very able to just be spontanous and 'stay up late' (as an example) one day... maybe if your kids don't, it's not an issue for you! but changes to mine's own internal routine, DO make a difference.