A wonderful friend growing up, her sister was placed in a group home when she (her sister) was 18. It was so hard for her parents, and I was 15 at the time, so not ENTIRELY aware of their issues, but I know that it was a hard decision, but one that worked for their family. The home (which I visited often with my friend P.) had the following things that really resonated with me:
1. outside help - everyone that worked at the home was vetted, but some of them were specialists who worked with the residents playing music with them, helping them to learn specific skills, speach therapy, OT, etc. These people were through hospitals and private consultanting groups who hire specialists and they get hours working at these kinds of homes. The house she lived in had a full time team of regular nurses, but no specialists in residence.
2. It was close enough to Home to make visiting easy and fun.
3. The rooms were doubles, but they were big, so each resident got to have their own bed, space, closet, window, wall for putting up photos etc., and a work table. P's sister wasn't infant-level developmentally, more like a toddler. She could sit at a table and eat (messily), but not dress herself very well, and not toilet trained. All her toilet needs were met by the residental nurses or her family. Everyone there was at about that level - so you might want to look for a place that has a good match between # of staff, level of staff training, and the spread of developmental needs of residents. You may have to ask specifically (they will surely give you a rundown, but asking specifically who comes, where they come from, and the # of visits your child will receive daily/weekly is probably playing it safe). Aesthetics is obviously secondary, but you do want there to be some space for your family to comfortably visit with her, and the on-duty nurse to be able to work with her on new and stimulating things. And finding a place that offers specialists as well as medical/maintenance staff is important.
Good luck, mama! You have been working really hard for her and that won't stop just because she lives in a different house. She is and always always will be your little girl. If she isn't of legal age, you may have a harder time finding a place for her, but I haven't tried looking! Keep well, andy