Kind of Urgent Question - Page 2

[bmcneal]

Originally Posted by tennisdude23

Seriously, stop worrying. Nobody is going to try and circumcise your son unless they specific permission from you do so. You did not give that permission. If you want to be safe, double check with the staff that you are not planning to circumcise. Again though, stop worrying.

Thanks, I'll stop worrying. I worry about everything. I try not to, everyone gets upset that I do, but I do. Thank you again.

[kldliam]

tennisdude23: Seriously, stop worrying. Nobody is going to try and circumcise your son unless they specific permission from you do so. You did not give that permission. If you want to be safe, double check with the staff that you are not planning to circumcise. Again though, stop worrying.

There's a nicer way to phrase "stop worrying". For example: "I'm sure everything will be ok, I understand your concerns though..."

I never liked that phrase, "stop worrying". It's somewhat dismissive and insensitive. Expectant moms in particular, need the opposite of that. There. I think that was more sensitive of me. Ha.

[FondestBianca]

it's not routine. by law they must get specific permission, signed, from legal guardian. If they did it without specific consent for that specific procedure, big fat lawsuit. Circ isn't concidered nessesary therefor they cannot do it without your permission even in the situation that you are unable to give permission (if you were medically incapable of giving permission... coma, sedated, etc). Read all of your forms and let your care provider (the person who would be in charge of doing a circ if you wanted one) know and make clear that you will not be doing it. They aren't just going to wander off with your baby and bring him back circed. Just make certain to tell your doc about your decision.

In my experience the nurses didn't even mention it one single time. When my doc came in to check on me and the baby the day after he delived him he just doubled checked to make sure I didn't want to do it then said, "great! that makes my job easier!".

I was worried about procedures and consent forms quite a bit with my second birth which happened earlier this month but, when it comes down to it you just need to be vocal about things and extra stubborn if you get stuck with a cranky or opinionated nurse. Don't feel bad about mentioning something more than once or dismissing any and all advice they give you that doesn't support your decision. As long as you continue to say no they will not/ can not circ. Unless you sign a specific form that is form circ and circ only they won't do it. It doesn't fit into the guidelines of the generic consent form as those are meant more for emergency or safety related medical procedures. There are some questionable things that do fall into that category but circ isn't one of them.

[njeb]

Originally Posted by FondestBianca

it's not routine. by law they must get specific permission, signed, from legal guardian. If they did it without specific consent for that specific procedure, big fat lawsuit. Circ isn't concidered nessesary therefor they cannot do it without your permission even in the situation that you are unable to give permission (if you were medically incapable of giving permission... coma, sedated, etc). Read all of your forms and let your care provider (the person who would be in charge of doing a circ if you wanted one) know and make clear that you will not be doing it. They aren't just going to wander off with your baby and bring him back circed. Just make certain to tell your doc about your decision.

In my experience the nurses didn't even mention it one single time. When my doc came in to check on me and the baby the day after he delived him he just doubled checked to make sure I didn't want to do it then said, "great! that makes my job easier!".

I was worried about procedures and consent forms quite a bit with my second birth which happened earlier this month but, when it comes down to it you just need to be vocal about things and extra stubborn if you get stuck with a cranky or opinionated nurse. Don't feel bad about mentioning something more than once or dismissing any and all advice they give you that doesn't support your decision. As long as you continue to say no they will not/ can not circ. Unless you sign a specific form that is form circ and circ only they won't do it. It doesn't fit into the guidelines of the generic consent form as those are meant more for emergency or safety related medical procedures. There are some questionable things that do fall into that category but circ isn't one of them.

The problem is, Tracy, you live in Washington, where the circumcision rate is around 30%, so it isn't routine where you live. Where the OP lives, it could very well be considered routine, and the circ. consent form is just another piece of paper buried somewhere in the middle with all the other papers you have to sign. Some of the posters here were asked *repeatedly* when they were going to circumcise. Not *if.* WHEN. It's not easy being the only parents on the ward to leave your ds intact. Here in the Midwest, the hospital personnel are so used to circumcising every infant male that when you throw a wrench into their well-oiled machine and say, "NO!", they react with shock and astonishment and sometimes downright hostility towards you. It's a whole different ball game out here. We have so much work to do!

[tennisdude23]

I think FondestBianca is right. From what I read, there are plenty of people here who did not circ. who live in the Midwest, who had no problems. You may be asked repeatedly and that's annoying, but that's because hospitals have to be extremely careful with all the paperwork and procedures. To the OP, my advice is to inform the staff beforehand and tell them not to even ask you about circ. But yeah, the chance of an accidental circumcision is really quite small, especially these days, no matter where you live. I really doubt anybody will be shocked or hostile about it. After all, you are the consumer. They have to follow your wishes.

[milkybean]

Originally Posted by njeb

The problem is, Tracy, you live in Washington, where the circumcision rate is around 30%, so it isn't routine where you live. Where the OP lives, it could very well be considered routine, and the circ. consent form is just another piece of paper buried somewhere in the middle with all the other papers you have to sign. Some of the posters here were asked *repeatedly* when they were going to circumcise. Not *if.* WHEN. It's not easy being the only parents on the ward to leave your ds intact. Here in the Midwest, the hospital personnel are so used to circumcising every infant male that when you throw a wrench into their well-oiled machine and say, "NO!", they react with shock and astonishment and sometimes downright hostility towards you. It's a whole different ball game out here. We have so much work to do!

Whereas I ended up in the hospital, in western Washington, and they don't even do them at that hospital, but I was asked about it repeatedly, and the ped they sent in twice (paid $500 for 2 from-the-doorway chats) didn't even ASK, he TOLD ME that I'd better have him do it soon, so "I don't have to use anesthetic."

This was only in '04.

And I was only in the hospital for 42 hours post-op, when I was booted to the door as I cried and begged to stay, after a totally unneeded, coerced, lies everywhere, c-section, when they knew my insurance (as all insurances in WA will) would pay for 96 hours post-op AND that I had a 3rd floor walk-up apartment after a one hour drive.

If a ped can be THAT urgent about doing a circ, in a hospital that doesn't even do them, and if I can be badgered about it by ped and staff THAT many times inside of 42 hours, you can bet your bippy that if I lived in the midwest where it is done more and in a hospital where it is actually done, I would hired an armed guard (or maybe just a tae kwon do blackbelt) to stand with the baby.



People who work in hospitals that don't do it, or whose personal experience shows them that people don't urge it, seem to feel that ALL hospitals and staff are like theirs. My stepmom is a NICU nurse in Santa Cruz CA that doesn't do circs, and she *did not believe me* when I told her of the ped and staff. Absolutely didn't believe me.

And my son's hospital paperwork says a circ was done. Also says he's a girl. Since I never inspected my brother's or half-brothers' penises, I didn't know what a proper foreskin looked like (had never really dealt with an, um, flaccid intact adult penis so I was in new territory) and absolutely FREAKED to see that line of...oh what's it called? It looked like a scar but it's normal? To see that along with that mention in the records on top of the ped and staff's urging, even though DS roomed in and was never out of the room except to be weighed once (and hubby went with him), even though we were only there 42 hours post-op, I still worried that it had been done.


OP, good luck with your VBAC!!!!! I wish you the absolute best!