|It was really more about me than about them.
It sounds awful, but I have to agree! My thought processes were very self-centred (not surprisingly really, I'd been focussing on MY pain and MY body for hours and hours!).
|Then I remember thinking, "OK, breastfeed now, let's go!" I had viewed giving birth as a job I had to do - an athletic event - and BFing as soon as he was born was part of the "work" I had to do.
Yes, that too! I was one of those mothers who didn't lose her modesty during labour, but one of the first things I said after Rowan was out was 'Quick, help me get my gown off', so we could do the breastcrawl! And then when I had the placenta fiasco I was making sure DH had her skin-to-skin while I was worked on... I guess it was the one bit of control over the situation we had at that point!
You know, I'm trying to remember the moment I 'fell in love' with the baby and I have no clue at all.
The first few hours were largely about me--being covered in blood, and trying to take a shower without fainting, and struggling into clothes so Mum could pick us up to take us to the birthing centre (we transferred from hospital). I remember the huge, horrible hospital pads more clearly than I do my newborn! DH was in the shower room with me to make sure I didn't pass out, and he was awkwardly holding the baby, and it was just odd. It was like 'Hmm, where do I put this if I need to catch my wife?'
You know? The two of us had just been through this very intimate, us-centred experience, and now there was an interloper!
Then during the next few days at the birthing centre I remember feeling very proud of her, but DH and I were both in the 'let's prove how good we are at being parents' phase and kinda hyped, gearing up for every night of broken sleep and so on. We both wanted to get home, because the whole birthing centre thing felt so surreal--almost like we were going to leave the baby there and go home and resume our normal lives, you know? The 'we have to keep this forever?' concept was odd, to say the least!
Man, it's only been nine months and I feel like we were really young when I look back.
I love hearing your stories, keep 'em coming!