W/my first it was a really long and rough labor, so when she was finally born I had torn really badly and was in a lot of pain. I remember holding her and crying, everyone thought cause I was so happy to have her, actually it was tears of joy that it was over and she and I both made it alive. I had umpteen hours of back labor and the MD wouldn't let me in the tub, so I was really in agony. When I got to the pushing I had her out in three pushes so I ripped from stem to stern and was hemorrhaging pretty badly. I couldn't hardly sit for well over a month. Anyways I remember when she was a couple hours old and sleeping I was writing in her bb book about the birth, and I went to sign it and started to sign my name. Then I stopped myself and looked at her and said well, I guess I'm your Mom now huh? It was a weird feeling. I mean, I would have killed anyone who tried to hurt her, but I wasn't 'in love' with her right yet. I felt like I had to get to know her, and she had to get to know me, as weird as that sounds. I would hold her and stare at her, she'd stare back at me...literally for HOURS the first few weeks after she was born. It was neat
Now we're inseparable!
With my second my very first thought was OMG that is the FURRIEST thing I've ever seen! The first thing I SAID was "OMG she has hair on her BACK...and her EARS...and her LEGS...." Then I (and everyone else) realized she was turning blue and not crying/breathing and they took her away, she had to get intubated because she inhaled fluid on the ride out. So then I felt guilty just saying how hairy she was and I cried
Hormones, I'm sure, but MAN she was a hairy baby! She had this DARK BLACK hair all over her ears, back, arms, legs, it was sooooooo funny! It finally went away after about 4 months...but sheesh!
DH stayed with her and I kept thinking what is he doing? Then I realized he was with HER. OUR BABY. And it'd click that I just gave birth. Kinda. It was weird. Once she was pink and breathing ok I got her back and just held her and wouldn't put her down, I kept smelling her and rubbing my lips on her head. I think I 'fell in love' with her faster than I did her older sister, because I wasn't in pain (agony) like I was before.
I think it helped that I knew sometimes it takes a bit to fall in love like you hear about, so I wasn't too worried to NOT have that feeling right away. I mean, I loved them both right away...no one could take them away from me (just ask the night nurses
) but I wasn't gushy over them instantly.