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What did you think/feel when you first saw your newborn? - Page 5

post #81 of 87
I felt very different after my private births than after my observed/managed/directed births, but the difference didn't have to do with a "falling in love" feeling. With my professionally attended births I felt completely disconnected from the baby. There was really no feeling whatsoever, aside from tiredness and relief. With my private births, I remained in an altered state of consciousness after labor ended, in which the baby's existence still felt entertwined with mine, as it had during pregnancy, and I felt like I knew her, like she'd always been with us.
post #82 of 87
I thought it was odd that she didn't look anything like me. The babies in my family all have downy white fluff or red fluff, not thick dark hair. My dh has dominant genes so I shouldn't have been surprised. But that's really all I thought. That and how tired I was, and how glad I was it was over.
post #83 of 87
I thought, "Thank God she's out." Then I was glad she was crying and ok but I still felt detached. Then I wanted apple juice. I was so d*mn thirsty!

I felt a certain kind of love and desire to protect her right away but I didn't really mind when they whisked her away to weigh her and stuff. I just felt almost like I was watching it happen from the outside looking in or something. I didn't really "fall in love" with her until she was 9 weeks old. Then it just hit me and I really got it. And I haven't looked back.
post #84 of 87
"I did it. It's over" were my first thoughts as I felt his body slide out. My first words were "Oh my baby. My baby." They put him up onto my chest immediately and his little crying face was looking up at me and I thought "Who are you?" in a sweet kind of filled-with-wonderment kind of way, because he didn't look how I expected. Then I made several vows to myself that I was never ever ever going to do this again, and started thinking about how we should go about adopting any subsequent children.

I remember later when DH was holding him right by my head while he was crying and the midwife was trying to tell me something while she was stitching me up and working on my PPH and I couldn't hear what she was saying and I thought (but didn't say) "take that away!" and realized that I had just thought of my baby as "that" little noisemaker. It took a little while for me to fall in love with him but immediately I felt a fierce protective urge, thinking "this one is mine!"

DS2 (oh yes, those never-doing-this-again memories do fade), again I thought "I did it, that's it! He's out!" and I remember thinking and saying "Aren't you a funny little fellow!" because again he defied what I expected him to look like. He also had some funny little facial expressions that were amusing to watch. I think I fell in love with him more quickly because I knew what to expect and wasn't so "out of it" with the pain and PPH.
post #85 of 87
Honestly, I barely remember. The whole experience was so endorphin-laced, it was like being on a whole heck of a lot of drugs. I remember how weird it felt when the baby's head came out, and I remember sitting there and feeling like it was kind of inherently absurd and humorous to have a baby's head sticking out between my legs. Then I pushed the baby out, and he was born in the caul, so it took the midwives a little bit to clear it off him before they handed him to me. I can't remember the first moment I laid eyes on him, it's all such a jumble in my memory. I remember lying on the sofa nursing him a few minutes later, and looking at his tiny fingers, and feeling quite happy and content, in kind of an oddly everyday and mundane way. I clearly remember giving the baby to DP to hold while I took a hot herbal bath and drank a cherry coke.
The baby was born right after midnight, and the next day is practically a total blank. I know DP went out and got us breakfast tacos, and we slept a lot, and the midwife came over that night, but I have zero memory of the rest of the day.
post #86 of 87
With my newborn DS I thought "Oh thank GOD you are finally out." I think I even said that to him.
post #87 of 87
With DD1 I thought "Oh, it's over now." and then a few minutes later I thought "Huh... she's pretty alert, I didn't think she'd be alert like that." I never really bonded with her.

With DD2 I felt the *expected* rush of love. Followed by annoyance with my midwife because she kept pushing me to eat scrambled eggs, and I wasn't hungry.
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