First Communion for Protestants?

[NicaG]

We're trying to figure out when ds will start taking communion with us at church. He's almost 4, and there's no real age restriction--any baptized Christian could theoretically take communion, even babies. I think there are occasionally special learning sessions at church that we could participate in, and we probably need to talk to the priest about it. We're Episcopalian, if that makes any difference, and there's communion every Sunday at church.

Could anyone share their own family's experience with this? Did you have special preparation for a significant day, or did your dc just sort of start taking communion one day with no fanfare? What age do you think is appropriate? Another priest once told us he thought kids should have the memory of always taking communion, even at a very young age. But I think it might be sort of nice to make it a special occasion, a special day. Right now I don't trust ds to actually eat the wafer--I'm afraid he would say "yuck" and spit it out....so to me he doesn't quite seem ready. But I see smaller children taking communion, so maybe he'd do fine. Thanks for any thoughts or insight!

[Tradd]

Do you use the wafers or real bread? I attended Episcopal parishes that used either/or. Some parishes might also have a series of lessons in Sunday School that focused on the meaning of Communion when the kids were a little older, say 1st or 2nd grade, even when they had been receiving since infants.

[wishin'&hopin']

reply from priest

Hi there! I am actually an Episcopal priest and thought I should chime in (usually I'm over at the queer parents board). I think that a good start would be to sit down with your priest and discuss your questions and ask his or her opinion. You obviously know that your child is welcome to receive after baptism (I routinely welcome toddlers to the altar to receive and I actually have never had a child spit out or otherwise refuse the bread or wafer--in the case that they did, the appropriate thing to do is to take the bread/wafer from them yourself--yes even if they had spit it out--and consume it, no fuss, quietly and reverently). Usually, children will do exactly what their parents do when it comes to communion--I have found that many children abhor the taste of the wine and it is always okay to just take the bread (my youth group once petitioned me to add more water to the wine to make it taste better!). But, if you are concerned about your child's decorum at communion your priest may allow you to have some unconsecrated bread/wafer to practice with at home (or just use whatever you have at home that fits!).

I was raised Roman Catholic, so I understand what you are saying about wanting your child to understand what they are participating in when they take communion. But, I think of education and growth in faith as an evolving process and full inclusion of children in communion is a means of helping them to grow in faith and helps them to understand their full inclusion in the community. Actually, it makes me think of a friend who's five year old grandson had just been baptized and received communion for the first time (at his Episcopal church) and who was then taken to a Roman Catholic church with a family member. When he didn't receive communion he turned to his grandmother and said "don't they know I've been baptized?" So I believe that kids tend to get what it means to be welcomed as a full member of the community. I am assuming that you also do spiritual education for your child at home (prayers, grace at the table etc.), speak with your priest about ways in which you might introduce your child to communion and it's meaning until there is a more formal occasion to do so.

Given all of this...do what feels right to your family and speak with your priest at your church! Kudos to you for raising him in the faith!

[lilyka]

At our church our babies start communion the day they are baptized which can be anytime after the 40th day (i think). So no special memory for those born in the church. but it is a special time still just as their baptism was. the cool thing about it is that is is something they are raised with and something that they don't ever remember going without. I don't know if I am explaining it right.

i have never seen anyone spit it out (although I won't lie I was pretty worried about my kids and we actually chatted with the priest about what do we do if it tastes yucky - mine converted this summer - and how we have to swallow it no matter once but once you have taken it you may go get a drink if it doesn't taste good. the good news is that it taste amazing whew.) but ifa baby were to spit it out or dribble due to lack of skill there is a napkin held between the challace and the recievers mouth to wipe any drips or dribbles. I know for our kids they get a very small amount just in case.

I wouldn't worry about holding off to make it a special day. to hold off on our kids in hope of the perfect memory really cheats them of something special God has for them here and now.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Both of my kids started taking communion about the point they could eat the wafer without choking -- so, let's say 2-ish. We are also Episcopalians. While I think they have a different understanding of communion than I do, I know that it marks a special part of the week for them and confirms their basic knowledge that 'Jesus loves me".

Once a visiting priest passed my 2 YO DD by at the rail. She took hold of his alb, gave it a tug, put her hands out and said "Jesus loves me too!" He was startled and apologized, then gave her communion. I thought it was a great understanding of what it meant to her and how it felt to be passed by.

We did not make it a special occassion when they started. They have gone to the rail with us since birth, so it was a natural progression. Now and then we end up talking about various parts of the church service, why they are important and what they mean. Their understanding has shifted over the years. Two weeks ago 9 YO DS skipped communion because he was feeling badly about some misbehavior the night before. We talked about forgiveness once we sat down again and shortly after that he got up, joined the end of the line and recieved. Again, interesting insight into his understanding.

Given that the Episcopal church doesn't make an occassion of 1st communion, you could certainly do something yourself, but I wouldn't wait too long or they may miss something important to them now.

We did, however, treat my son to a special lunch after the first time he served as an acolyte because that marked a significant step forward in his willingness to participate and sacrifice something to be a greater part of the service.