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DD "Walked in on us" last night...  

post #1 of 42
12/22/08 at 4:48pm
Thread Starter 
DD "walked in on us" last night. I'm still traumatized. I was on top, but thankfully I had the covers on. She walked over to the side of the bed and DH jumped and said "DD (her name)" and I jumped off really quick and I smiled and said "momma's hugging daddy". I'm not sure if she realized we were both naked. She was half-asleep and as soon as she climbed into bed she fell asleep again immediately. I hope she doesn't remember. I hope she doesn't tell about it at her school.

Tell me this has happened to someone else and that DD will not be traumatized??
post #2 of 42
12/22/08 at 4:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShwarmaQueen View Post
Tell me this has happened to someone else and that DD will not be traumatized??
It has not happened to me, but I remember walking in on my parents when I was much, much older than your DD (I think I was around 9 or 10). I remember thinking that my dad was hurting my mom because her face was all red (and he was on top). But just as quickly I realized what they were doing and I was just embarassed.

I think your DD is probably too young to imagine anything other than what you told her. Do you think you'd be more open to telling her the (age-appropriate) truth if she asked you questions later?

Unless it comes out in questions or in play, I wouldn't worry about it at all.
post #3 of 42
12/22/08 at 4:56pm
My definition of unthinkable is a whole lot worse...

Forget about it. It doesn't sound like she even noticed.
post #4 of 42
12/22/08 at 4:56pm
Oh hun!

Totally has happened. She will not be traumatized

I remember when A and D would come down in the middle of the night and say "we're scared..." - seemed to happen (luckily for us) most often when we were JUST done. But once it totally happened in the middle. We put them back to bed and then...um..got back to it

They hadn't got a clue, even that time. We play wrestle sometimes and they laugh at us, so I expect that's what they were thinking then as well.

Worry ye not. I also walked in on my mum and dad once at the age of..oh...about three. I had no idea what was going on except my dad said "Oh...for God's sakes..." and rolled off my mum. Many years later, things clicked into place and now I think it's really really funny!

But no, your little one is just fine - don't you worry. She very likely just thought you were giving Daddy a hug *HUGS* XX
post #5 of 42
12/22/08 at 4:58pm
aww!! i'm sure she will be just fine! i bet she doesn't even remember as she was half asleep! you didn't scar her for life, i am sure of it!
post #6 of 42
12/22/08 at 5:02pm
It's happened to us (rarely!) Not a big deal. They don't even "get it" at that age. Just Mommy and Daddy cuddling/tickling/whatever. They don't care. Don't worry about it!
post #7 of 42
12/22/08 at 5:09pm
My Dd (almost 5 at the time) walked in on us - me on top, and there were no blankets at all. It was really obvious, and she was wide awake. It was really uncomfortable, because she was a little traumatized. She cried - she had some nebulous idea that I was having the baby and that no one told her. She asked some really awkward questions, and I answered as simply, honestly and calmly as I could (she didn't ask the questions I had prepared answers to! LOL)

It's about a year later, and she's not scarred at all by it. After that single uncomfortable conversation, it's not come up again and she was totally fine. Kids are really resilient, and the general attitude of the parents, and how they react in individual situations, matters more than the situation itself, kwim?

And keep in mind that in most of the world where cosleeping and entire extended families/villages sharing sleep space is the norm, those children are exposed to at least some awareness of the sexuality of the adults from a very young age. It's taken for granted and just part of life. They don't end up with problems later on because of it. Our society is arranged differently, of course, so we can't try to recreate that kind of openness ... but it's not inherently harmful for anyone.
post #8 of 42
12/22/08 at 5:15pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LauraN View Post
Do you think you'd be more open to telling her the (age-appropriate) truth if she asked you questions later?
That's such a hard one. Probably not now, maybe if we had another LO it would make explaining how s/he got here easier.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JayJay View Post
Worry ye not. I also walked in on my mum and dad once at the age of..oh...about three. I had no idea what was going on except my dad said "Oh...for God's sakes..." and rolled off my mum. Many years later, things clicked into place and now I think it's really really funny!
That's what I'm afraid of!

I can remember looking at my parents dirty books (The Joy of $ex) when I was like 7 and I honestly think that was a pivotal point. I just don't want her to be 'aware' in that way yet, kwim?
post #9 of 42
12/22/08 at 5:18pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Collinsky View Post
My Dd (almost 5 at the time) walked in on us - me on top, and there were no blankets at all. It was really obvious, and she was wide awake. It was really uncomfortable, because she was a little traumatized. She cried - she had some nebulous idea that I was having the baby and that no one told her. She asked some really awkward questions, and I answered as simply, honestly and calmly as I could (she didn't ask the questions I had prepared answers to! LOL)
Thanks for sharing. I'm just curious, what kind of questions did she ask?
post #10 of 42
12/22/08 at 5:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4evermom View Post
My definition of unthinkable is a whole lot worse...
Me too. I'm honestly struggling to understand why you think this could possibly be traumatizing to your dd. She sees her (fully covered by blankets) parents in a close embrace and...?
post #11 of 42
12/22/08 at 5:24pm
I don't think she will remember anything at all . She just turned 4 and although most of us can remember back then - memories from that age are rather imaginative anyway. I will say to my mom "remember when this happened" and the actual event is a little less "colorful" than i remember. Anyway- long statement short- I don't think you have ANYTHING to worry about.

P.S. I walked in on my mom "pleasuring" my dad when i was 12!!! YUUUUCCCK!!! it was late at night and I thought mom was just in the bathtub and I had to pee...they forgot to lock the door : Thankfully at 27 I have worked past it LOL....so I feel safe to say again that you and your DH are good to go
post #12 of 42
12/22/08 at 5:25pm
Oh my gosh, I thought from the thread header that your child had been molested or run over by a bus!

this is acutely embarrassing, I'm sure (I sure worry about it happening at our house), but millions of kids have caught their parents in the act and lived to tell the tale ... in the middle of supermarket or at preschool show-and-tell.

No, seriously, it doesn't even sound like she thought you were doing anything unusual, much less like she was traumatized or thought it was something worth talking about later. She just thought you were giving her daddy a hug.
post #13 of 42
12/22/08 at 5:33pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by zinemama View Post
Me too. I'm honestly struggling to understand why you think this could possibly be traumatizing to your dd. She sees her (fully covered by blankets) parents in a close embrace and...?
Well, in the heat of the moment that was the LAST thing on my mind.

DH afterwards was like "oh, I think we should lock the door next time"...ummm...yah, I think so.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jeliphish View Post
P.S. I walked in on my mom "pleasuring" my dad when i was 12!!! YUUUUCCCK!!! it was late at night and I thought mom was just in the bathtub and I had to pee...they forgot to lock the door : Thankfully at 27 I have worked past it LOL....so I feel safe to say again that you and your DH are good to go
OH NO, I WOULD DIE!!!!!
post #14 of 42
12/22/08 at 5:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4evermom View Post
My definition of unthinkable is a whole lot worse...

Forget about it. It doesn't sound like she even noticed.
Oh yeah me too! I was relieved when I read what actually happened. Whew! I wouldn't worry about it.
post #15 of 42
12/22/08 at 5:38pm
Just recently happened to us too, same situation as you (being on top). My oldest and middle child so far have walked in on us.

When my middle child walked in on us hubbs just about threw me off of him and off the bed *lol* knee jerk reaction, I almost landed on the floor

From experience, they seem not at all that traumatized by it and they were both half asleep and didn't even remember it at all as far as I can tell.
post #16 of 42
12/22/08 at 5:48pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheal View Post
When my middle child walked in on us hubbs just about threw me off of him and off the bed *lol* knee jerk reaction, I almost landed on the floor
I can just picture this!

And I'm changing the title of this thread so no one else is falsly alarmed!
post #17 of 42
12/22/08 at 6:00pm
DD done this it didn't tramatize her in the least shes just goes yea mommy remember when I open the door and you were NAKED!! It was soo funny mommy!! You didn't have clothes on! Your silly mommy

Deanna
post #18 of 42
12/22/08 at 6:06pm
we've been walked in on before too. We were far more embarrassed than the kids were.

Don't worry, if your kid doesn't embarrass you about this, wait till she tells the preschool teacher that Daddy kicked her. (He never did! Still trying to figure out where it came from.) Or you're in the checkout and she yells "Oh GOD Mommy did you fart!? You stink!!!"

It will happen. This is nothing, trust me.

post #19 of 42
12/22/08 at 6:08pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by octobermom View Post
DD done this it didn't tramatize her in the least shes just goes yea mommy remember when I open the door and you were NAKED!! It was soo funny mommy!! You didn't have clothes on! Your silly mommy

Deanna
I can just hear it now at her school..."I saw my mommy naked in the bed. She was hugging my daddy...."
post #20 of 42
12/22/08 at 6:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShwarmaQueen View Post
Thanks for sharing. I'm just curious, what kind of questions did she ask?
I don't think I can say here, as it would probably be a UAV.
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