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wwyd - pedophile and DD - Page 5

post #81 of 86
Good luck talking with mom. You are doing the right thing.
post #82 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X View Post
If it was me said person would have zero contact with my child. Someone like that cannot be trusted and even if you are right there stuff can happen that you cant take back ie a touch that would make your dd uncomfortable. It just isnt worth the risk.

Both you and your dh are getting bad vibes from this person listen to them. Your post had so many red flags I cant remember them all the first huge one was what was done to you by this person and the second huge one is the sudden interest in your dd.

Weigh it this way:

The health and wellbeing of your dd vs. family issues with adults. The scales obviously go toward your dd. If grown ups cant handle the situation they can get over it or move on. If something happens to your dd she might never get over it.

I one hundred percent agree. If that person did those things to me when I was small, there is no way I'd allow that one around my child. If it were me, I'd end the contact immediately.


I'm so sorry you had to go through those things growing up. It never should have happened.
post #83 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamazee View Post
Keep him away. You will regret it forever if you don't.
I agree. You already know how this person is from how you were treated in the past. This person most likely hasn't changed. And for him to all of a sudden start showing interest in your family when you have a DD, ummm...too obvious IMO. Keep away from him.
post #84 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllisonR View Post
Bolding mine. I only got as far as this post, not sure I can go further. This is making me ill. And I think maybe I am totally confused here??? What I read is that your mom is not surprised her friend is a pedophile? So she probably knows how he treated you in the past, and yet she just doesn't care or what? And you are supposed to feel bad for taking the object of his desires, your DD, away from him? WTH??? And then you write that you feel sad - FOR HIM?!!! Please tell me I am reading this wrong, because otherwise this is sick. If this is true, I wouldn't let my DD, or any child, near this man for any reason whatsoever, and frankly, not my mother either, though if it had to be, then only under completely supervised visits, until my DD was in her mid twenties.
I agree with this somewhat. I can't believe your mother isn't supporting you on this. How horrible of her. And you say this man is just a family friend? Thats even more reason not to care if you have contact with him or not. I thought he was blood related.
post #85 of 86
The OP's edit in her original post says that the man in question is her stepdad, not a family friend.

BTW, I agree 100% with everyone here who has said to keep your DD away from this guy. And, if your mom is not supportive of your decision, you may want to rethink the relationship with her as well.

Since your talk with your mom, has anything else come up? Any new updates? I hope that things are going well....and that you're still feeling strong and supported in your decision to keep stepdad away from your DD. Good Luck!!!!
post #86 of 86

haven't read all the way through

but based on your statements of his treatment of you as a child, and this:
Quote:
Said has no relationship with me. We do not talk past hello. I say nothing to him he says nothing to me most of the time.

Now that i have DD, said person has all the sudden shown interest in coming over and having a relationship with DD. I took this positively.
I would absolutely not let him in my house or near my daughter, no way no how, no matter who gets angry over it. *(and I am NOT one to normally say 'cut off contact" with relatives when there's a problem) BUT in this instance for your daughters safety you really need to. She needs to come first, you are her mama.....the needs/wants of ANY other family members do not outweigh the rights of the child in a case like this.

If he had nothing to do w/ you before, and suddenly wants to be around 'cause there's a little girl again.....get away, stay away from him!!! It only takes a few seconds for serious harm to be done, and things can happen in your home with you there, you (or they) only need to step out of the room for a second.
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