how do I give the naughy child presents??? - Page 2

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by Murihiku

DH saw this thread and suggested that if you do connect presents with behaviour you could say

"Santa gave you so many presents because he knows how lovely you're going to be this coming year."

That's very sweet.

[chaoticzenmom]

Christmas anxiety is very hard for kids. My 8yo was having such sever anxiety about whether he'd get a certain gift that I finally had to hint it to him so he could calm down. My 6yo carried her cut and paste christmas list around for 2 weeks and asked hundreds of times if I thought she'd get everything she asked for. It's stressful for them!

I'll say things like, "you better behave "santa" is watching." But they know Santa is me, so it's kind of a joke.

Also, kids bounce your feelings back to you. What she's showing is likely her perception of the turmoil you're feeling right now. Anytime I'm over stressed, I can count on my perceptive daughter to mirror me.

Love isn't conditional and Christmas is supposed to be a fun time to connect with each other. It's not a reward for being good all year in our family, it's about love. Presents are just a fun part of that.

[Cutie Patootie]

Originally Posted by 34me

I finally figured out with my "naughty" boy that it was the anticipation of anything exciting that unleashed him. It didn't matter if it was the holidays, birthday or an anticipated trip his behavior was less than steller leading up to it. Once I figured that out, it changed how I prepared him for it and it has gotten better over the years. He's 12 now and does a lot better.

Absolutely, :, and with all the stuff we have going on...Christmas, new baby in 3 weeks, visitors...I'm surprised the poor kid is still functioning at all.

[Drummer's Wife]

great advice on this thread, I know my kids are driving me nutso. It's only day two of winter break from school, we had visitors this weekend that changed up our routine and they are super excited about all the gifts under the tree. also, the anticipation of what santa will bring. I feel like they are trying to push my buttons but it's just how kids can be at times. There's a lot going on now that's different than the average month. Here anyway.

i've caught my self saying, "please, it's christmas time, can't you all get along!" or just today I said, "you guys have 13 more days home together, it's so much better if you play nicely without fighting" --- to be honest, it seems to be working just to remind them it's a wonderful time of the year and getting along with your brothers is much more fun than arguing. I have tried really hard not to say the santa is watching bit or throw the presents as a reward to behavior thing in there. Actually, probably a little more than a month ago I told DD, "santa is watching you" as we were walking in a parking lot and she said, "no he's not, that's not possible, he can't see what every kid in the whole world is doing, all the time!" so, that didn't work out so well anyway and I'm not even sure why I said it and she wasn't even mis-behaving at the time.

OP, it will get better. I keep telling myself I'm glad I got the kids so many wonderful presents because they will soon have something to help entertain them for a while.

[octobermom]

We don't tie gifts to behavior if anything we give despite even as for us gift giving even the "spoiled days Christmas mornings" are outword expressions of unconditional love.

Deanna

[LynnS6]

If it helps, our 4 year old has had about 4 meltdowns today, tackled her brother, and tried to push me over outside on a snowy hill. In between, she's fine or she's running circles, literally, saying "I can't wait until Christmas!"

it doesn't help that we've been snowbound for the last week. I took them out to play in the snow for an hour and a half this afternoon. We're going to frost cookies and build a gingerbread house tonight. Tomorrow ... hmm.... maybe we'll sell her to help shovel sidewalks!

[Hoopin' Mama]

You've gotten great advice

Deal with the behavior, the gifts are not related.

Holidays can be so disruptive to children in a way.

Have a good one!

[elizawill]

we don't do naughty & nice, otherwise we would all get nada here (including me!), lol.

we teach christmas is a celebration & the gifts are given as a reminder of the greatest gift, the birth of christ (yea...we're christian). so for us, the gifts literally have no association with whether or not any of us deserve a darn thing.

we also celebrate santa, but he only brings 1 present. everything else is from mom & dad or family .

[elizawill]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

If it helps, our 4 year old has had about 4 meltdowns today, tackled her brother, and tried to push me over outside on a snowy hill. In between, she's fine or she's running circles, literally, saying "I can't wait until Christmas!"

oh this made me laugh outloud!!! i'm so glad other 4 year olds can act this way!!