DS ruined santa for another family :( - Page 5

[Breeder]

Originally Posted by Realrellim

Meh. I bet the little girl thought "no presents for you then!" and went on her merry way. Seriously--look at all the Christmas specials and whatnot hat tfeature someone who says "No, Santa isn't real" and the response is "he only brings presents to people who believe" and the ending shows the kid usually believing in Santa.

Unless I miss my guess, that little girl is probably feeling pretty smug today about all the presents Santa brought her and how that little boy won't get any. (And the little boy gets to be a happy non-Santa camper too). And they all lived happily ever after.

This is probably true.

As for lying. Most everyone either lies or avoids telling the truth to avoid hurting other people's feelings. Your friend may ask you if you like her new expensive haircut. You think it's ghastly, so instead you said, "Wow, where did you get it?" redirecting to avoid telling her the truth or "Yeah, it looks nice." outright lying to preserve her feelings.

OP I think you did fine. Stop beating yourself up over it. The other mom was probably just taken off guard. I mean how could anyone be angry at a five yr old for calling it like he sees it? That is a fundamental aspect of most five year olds I know.

[CathMac]

Sorry I missed this post earlier.

Originally Posted by PaxMamma

i think it would be good to remember that there are REAL people on the other side of these screens. points are better taken when delivered respectfully.

I am well aware that there are "real people" posting on these threads. I'm one of them. My opinions may be stated matter-of-factly but not disrespectfully.

Originally Posted by PaxMamma

to insinuate that i did not show compassion to this family or am somehow insensitive to their beliefs is ludicrous. i felt badly about how it all played out. that's why i posted here. if i didn't give a rat's ass, i would have gone about my business. you folks would never have heard about it. i gave a lot of grace to this family in this situation and would hope to receive it here, too.

I didn't insinuate anything. I may have been long winded about it but essentially I simply pointed out that you could have handled the situation better. I probably would have refrained from posting at all except that I suspected that this little girl's mother probably feels similarly and I thought that it would be helpful for you to have a fuller sense of what that might mean.

Originally Posted by PaxMamma

i DO care about this family. the little girl is a former student of mine and, quite possibly, the most enchanting child i've ever met. i don't take lightly that my ds or i may have caused her to be, at best, uncomfortable, and, at worst, disillusioned (not quite the word i want here, but anyway).

I never said or implied that you don't care for this little girl. As far as whether she is disillusioned or not, I suppose that remains to be seen.

I'm hoping that the predictions here that Christmas day would renew her belief are correct. But it seems more likely to me she's been asking some pointed questions and seeking reassurance. And I'm hoping for her Mom's sake that she hasn't been asking in front of other kids.

I'll be following this thread to see what develops.

Happy Holidays
~Cath

[HarperRose]

We do not celebrate holidays nor do we believe in Santa.

My neighbors' kids do believe in Santa.

I tell my kids that Santa is not real, he's a story that lots of ppl tell their kids, but we can't tell the kids he's not real because it would make them sad. I've had to take my kids aside a few times to remind them, but the other mothers have been understanding.

[PaxMamma]

Update!

so, i ran into the family at school today and asked them how their holiday went. they said everything was great, there were no issues, except that now their kids feel bad for my son! they're worried b/c my poor kid doesn't get to have a santa bring him presents!

i apologized again and she said it was no problem, she meant to call me, but everything was fine.

[sunnmama]

Ah, good update. Glad to hear nobody's beliefs were ruined

[izadora]

Yeah, I think 5 is a young age to not believe you know?

So, I am curious though.. we believe in fairies.. dd has an imaginary friend, we do the tooth fairy etc etc.. do those that do not do Santa also discourage imaginary freinds, fairies etc etc.??

I will tell my dd that santa is as real for as long as she want's to believe.. my DH still believes in santa, and since being a family, I also believe

[pigpokey]

Yeah, I kinda thought it would turn out OK, because I've flat out told my kids, in response to their questions, and otherwise, that Santa is not real, it's a story, spirit of Christmas, legend, etc. etc. and they choose to "believe" in Santa for the most part. I mean, to them reality is six of one, half dozen of the other. Ages almost-4 and 5. It's the age, the brain wants to believe magic will be real.

[sunnmama]

Originally Posted by izadora

So, I am curious though.. we believe in fairies.. dd has an imaginary friend, we do the tooth fairy etc etc.. do those that do not do Santa also discourage imaginary freinds, fairies etc etc.??

Dd knows that Santa and her imaginary friend (of 4 years now...) are both fantasy. The difference is that there came a point where she needed to ask if santa is real or not...she needed help categorizing it as fantasy or reality. She has always understood that her imaginary friend is fantasy, as she is an invention of her own mind.