I'm floored and sad. **UPDATE #92**

[HarperRose]

I suggested we get together w/ some friends tonight. They declined because, according to her text, "I am very sorry but dh and I both get very uncomfortable when you are breastfeeding while dh is in the same room, so to not inconvenience you, it's better if we don't go."

I'm floored. I'm hurt. I'm... just...

I texted back, "Oh. Ok. I'm sorry you're uncomfortable. It's not my intent to flash. I apologize for that. The shirt I wore the other day was problematic for sure."

I had a nursing tank underneath, but the top of the shirt over it was a big pain and made it look like I was exposing way more than usual.

Either way...

That last time my nursing came up as an issue, a girl was overheard saying that I "just flopped it out there!" I asked the hostess about it later and she told me that apparently her dh (host) and another guy got flashed.

I just... I just want to cry and hide and never go anywhere!

It's not on purpose! I'm feeding my baby! Look away if it bugs you!

[Serenyd]

What a bunch of jerks. I woudn't want to bf in front of them anyway. Isn't there another room you could go in to bf? Or maybe you just need to make some new, crunchier friends who aren't so easily offended.

[Murihiku]

I am SO sorry you have such insensitive friends!!!! How absolutely horrible!!:

[3pink1blue]

its hard, but don't take it personally. Instead of seeing it as YOU with the problem, its THEM. think about all the tons of other times you have nip'd, has anyone said anything? looked at you weird? probably not. Look at it that way. If you nurse in a mall, probably a hundred people walked by, and if you did that once a week - well, statistically, not too many people have an issue with you nursing. that's how i look at it, anyway.

[WeasleyMum]

These folks need to get over themselves. It's not like you're trying to seduce your friend's DH by feeding your child in front of him.

[talk de jour]

Look at it this way, though -- at least they let you know what their problem was instead of just cutting you off with NO explanation -- that would be way harder.

[Swan3]

Originally Posted by Justthatgirl

I suggested we get together w/ some friends tonight. They declined because, according to her text, "I am very sorry but dh and I both get very uncomfortable when you are breastfeeding while dh is in the same room, so to not inconvenience you, it's better if we don't go."

I'm floored. I'm hurt. I'm... just...

I texted back, "Oh. Ok. I'm sorry you're uncomfortable. It's not my intent to flash. I apologize for that. The shirt I wore the other day was problematic for sure."

I had a nursing tank underneath, but the top of the shirt over it was a big pain and made it look like I was exposing way more than usual.

Either way...

That last time my nursing came up as an issue, a girl was overheard saying that I "just flopped it out there!" I asked the hostess about it later and she told me that apparently her dh (host) and another guy got flashed.

I just... I just want to cry and hide and never go anywhere!

It's not on purpose! I'm feeding my baby! Look away if it bugs you!

Honestly, they probably would have reacted the same way if you had covered with a blanket. Remember this is about them...not you!

I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this. You're doing a great thing! Keep it up mama!

[MountainMamaGC]

Thats sucks. I am sorry they did that to you. I think i would end the friendship over it, but thats just me.

[GooeyRN]

I am sorry.

[lactivist]

I am pretty sure that would be a deal breaker for me. I am so sorry you are being treated this way. It seems so immature and ridiculous. Do they not go to R rated movies because of skin showing? Do they not go to the beach? It is definitely their problem if they can't put aside thier "discomfort" for the sake of a healthy baby.

My breasts are really large and there is definitely some times when I can't help but flash people especially when the baby is popping on and off. I would be really hurt and angry if "friends" couldn't understand that I am just feeding my baby.

Wendi

[Theoretica]

Wow, most guys are thrilled to get a glimpse at some boobage. Humph. Spoilsports.

I'm so sorry you're feeling self conscious now! You didn't do ANYTHING wrong! Hmmm...you could offer him a blanket to cover his head if it bothers him?

Oh there I go again....being snarky....oops....

I'm impressed you handled it with such decorum. I tend to get a little snotty in those situations and it wouldn't have helped ME look good at all.

Nurse away mama, and I hope you are able to find some friends who have established immunity to rectal corncobitis in the future

Bellevuemama

[Materfamilias]

That's a drag. I've got a few friends who get very uncomfortable at the very mention of breastfeeding. One of them is just very, very "modest" for lack of a better term. She's one of those ppl who get freaked by any mention of bodily functions. She does try to be supportive, though. It's tough. Another friend's dh was OK with me feeding dd right next to him covered up with my sweater, but then told me how disgusted he was by a relative who did not cover at all when she fed her kids. Who knows?? I think they're all weird!

[HarperRose]

Originally Posted by Serenyd

What a bunch of jerks. I woudn't want to bf in front of them anyway. Isn't there another room you could go in to bf? Or maybe you just need to make some new, crunchier friends who aren't so easily offended.

At their house I do go elsewhere, but the event she is referring to happened in MY HOME!

[talk de jour]

Originally Posted by bellevuemama

Wow, most guys are thrilled to get a glimpse at some boobage. Humph. Spoilsports.

Maybe he went "hey, she has some nice boobies" to his wife and the wife went "OH HAIL NO, WE ARE STAYING AWAY TILL SHE WEANS!"

[Logan's mommy]

When we have friends (mostly dh's friends) over I usually drape a blanket around us, so that if ds2 pops off a lot (which he has been doing a lot lately) they won't get an eye-full and no one will have to be embarrassed.

It really sucks they are not bf-friendly It makes me sad for you. I don't have many friends, maybe 3-4 really close ones, but thankfully they all bf'd their babies, so I don't have to worry about them having a problem with it. Could you maybe talk to them and see why it makes them so uncomfortable? And then if you want to continue the friendship, see if they would be more comfortable if you covered up or something?

I hope you're able to figure something out. Sending a big your way.

[limabean]

Oh, how hurtful -- I'm so sorry.

I would be so hurt if a friend said that to me, that I'd have a hard time being around them anymore. Not as punishment or anything, it'd just be really tough for me to get over the hurt, and to reconcile a person I thought of as a caring friend with such a thoughtless, ignorant comment.

[calebsmommy25]

OH... I am so sorry you have such insensitive, non-supportive friends! I had an incident a couple of weeks ago at one of my friends houses. I was helping cook in the kitchen and my babe was hungry, so I sat down and fed him. My cousin looks at me and says, 'oh...(uncomfortably) I thought you were going to give him a bottle.' Me, 'No, he doesn't really take bottles that often, there is no need when I'm around and plus that pumped milk is saved for when I'm not around. It is too hard to produce it to waste it on times when I'm with him' She gets up and has to get something out of the car! I actually found it kind of funny. I am curious to see how the holidays go when I feed my babe around some family and friends that I do see that often.

Don't be ashamed to feed your babe. Honestly, it sounds it is your friends problem, not yours. If her DH is going to look your way, than that is his fault. She should be more concerned with why he is looking your way and examine why it makes them uncomfortable. They should be so lucky to be in the presence of such a beautiful, natural relationship between Mama and baby!

[seastar311]

I'm sorry your feelings got hurt, but at least your friends were trying to be honest with you. Is there another way they could have said it that would have been better?

[HarperRose]

And yeah, I feel all self conscious and weird and otherwise uncomfortable. This is definitely going to affect our friendship and not in a good way.

I'm just so .... Where did this come from??? You know?

I don't feel comfortable with them at all anymore. In someone else's home, I will go w/ whatever they prefer. But in my house? No. You can put a blanket over YOUR head.

I can't believe this is from ppl I considered GOOD friends. I'm so hurt. A little bit angry, but more sad than anything. And embarrassed.

[HarperRose]

Originally Posted by talk de jour

Maybe he went "hey, she has some nice boobies" to his wife and the wife went "OH HAIL NO, WE ARE STAYING AWAY TILL SHE WEANS!"

LOL No. The wife paid for her D's. It works for them QUITE well.