I'm floored and sad. **UPDATE #92** - Page 5

[~PurityLake~]

Originally Posted by WeasleyMum

These folks need to get over themselves. It's not like you're trying to seduce your friend's DH by feeding your child in front of him.

i think that's it right there... the wife is intimidated because she thinks your (.)(.) are attractive or thinks her husband thinks so....

Which means she is unable to differentiate between the nourishing breast and the sexy breast.

I am actually surprised 'you' apologized to 'her' when I think it should have been the other way around. So what if you showed some skin while feeding your baby! That's nothing to apologize for.

[~PurityLake~]

Originally Posted by Anna's Lovey

My mom would be like "are you sure you don't want a blanket or something?"

No thanks, I'm not cold... in fact, I'm really actually hot holding this hot baby. But if you're cold in this room, you can use that blanket.

[MomofBigBean]

My brother made the mistake of saying something to me prior to my hormones getting a bit more evened out. After hearing "ugh, man, I can't watch that", I snapped back "It's a nipple being flashed, not an a#@hole! Get over it!"
Not exactly a delicate way of expressing it but it has become something of a joke now. My brother ended up actually taking the advice and no longer comments on his nephew's lunch. Sadly it seems some people can't seem to get past the fact that BF isn't sexual or some dirty bodily function without a bit of mental shake up.

[Peppermint Leaf]

Question for the OP: These were obviously good friends of yours. How would you prefer that they handled this? Do you think the outcome would have been any different? Would you have agreed to covering when in his presence? I am going to guess not. So although your friends handled this very badly and should have talked to you in person about it -- I suspect that the outcome would have been the same.

[HarperRose]

Originally Posted by Peppermint Leaf

Question for the OP: These were obviously good friends of yours. How would you prefer that they handled this?

It seemed to be permanent when she declined our invitation to get together. The venue was left open for suggestion, it didn't have to be at my home.

A suggestion for a different venue or even asking me to use a blanket would have been ok. My house, my rules, but if you're THAT weird about it, ask me and I will try to remember to use a blanket when we're together. Don't cut off our friendship or all option of ever hanging out just because you have issues.

Do you think the outcome would have been any different?

If they'd asked, yes, the outcome would have been different. We'd still be able to hang out.

Would you have agreed to covering when in his presence? I am going to guess not.

You guessed wrong. I already covered or went elsewhere AT THEIR HOUSE. If they had ASKED, I would have covered at my house, also.

So although your friends handled this very badly and should have talked to you in person about it -- I suspect that the outcome would have been the same.

No, it wouldn't. If they had asked me to cover, "Sure, let's hang, but do you mind using a blanket when you're breastfeeding? It totally weirds us out" I would have texted back, "Ok, ya freak. I'll try to remember!"

Instead it ended badly because they assumed I wouldn't want to cover and therefore made a very permanent decision w/o asking me or suggesting something else.

I'm a lactivist but I don't mind making concession for others if they bring it to my attention. I just don't think about it, so they need to suggest it.

[Peppermint Leaf]

Originally Posted by Justthatgirl

It seemed to be permanent when she declined our invitation to get together. The venue was left open for suggestion, it didn't have to be at my home.

A suggestion for a different venue or even asking me to use a blanket would have been ok. My house, my rules, but if you're THAT weird about it, ask me and I will try to remember to use a blanket when we're together. Don't cut off our friendship or all option of ever hanging out just because you have issues.



If they'd asked, yes, the outcome would have been different. We'd still be able to hang out.




You guessed wrong. I already covered or went elsewhere AT THEIR HOUSE. If they had ASKED, I would have covered at my house, also.



No, it wouldn't. If they had asked me to cover, "Sure, let's hang, but do you mind using a blanket when you're breastfeeding? It totally weirds us out" I would have texted back, "Ok, ya freak. I'll try to remember!"

Instead it ended badly because they assumed I wouldn't want to cover and therefore made a very permanent decision w/o asking me or suggesting something else.

I'm a lactivist but I don't mind making concession for others if they bring it to my attention. I just don't think about it, so they need to suggest it.

that makes this all the more sadder -- its too bad your friend didn't know you well enough to know that there was easy answer.

My heart goes out to you --- friendships are so important and they shouldn't end over this :-(

[HarperRose]

Originally Posted by Peppermint Leaf

that makes this all the more sadder -- its too bad your friend didn't know you well enough to know that there was easy answer.

My heart goes out to you --- friendships are so important and they shouldn't end over this :-(

That's what kills me -- I thought we were better friends than this. She always implied that we were...

[PassionateWriter]

Originally Posted by Justthatgirl

At their house I do go elsewhere, but the event she is referring to happened in MY HOME!

that is just insane IMHO.

Originally Posted by Justthatgirl

I can't believe this is from ppl I considered GOOD friends. I'm so hurt. A little bit angry, but more sad than anything. And embarrassed.

i am so sorry they hurt your feelings over feeding your son. that is just wrong.

i just cant believe good friends would treat someone like this.

maybe friendships dont mean that much to me but i will not modify feeding my 2 month old and 3 YEAR old the way they prefer. its just insane for anyone to get all bent over it.

[PaigeC]

It kills me that breastfeeding is viewed as weird instead of they guy (or girl) who is thinking sexual thoughts about a mother and child being seen as the abnormal thing!

Have we forgotten we are MAMMALS??? geesh.

And a txt? That's not very friendly and actually kind of cowardly. So sorry you are going through this!

[AGierald]

Originally Posted by Justthatgirl

At their house I do go elsewhere, but the event she is referring to happened in MY HOME!

yup my mom just told me that i offended someone breastfeeding my son at thanksgiving in my OWN LIVING ROOM. Part of you says "its their problem not mine" but i was sick with upset over it for a week.

[luckysam]

Big hugs mama. Don't they know that of course they are right... I mean, of course the whole reason you got pregnant at all was just so that after you had the baby, you could flash half of a breast at her hubby and her while breastfeeding

I know it is so hard, but pp are right, this is about them. I had friends say wow we were shocked when we were all eating dinner at your house that you nursed at the table. And I said well every time the baby smells food he wants to eat too, so get used to it! lol

I was a bit taken aback at first myself, when they said that to me, but I knew I wasn't doing anything wrong and realized it wasn't my issue. It just takes some people awhile to warm up, especially if they haven't been, forgive the word, exposed to breastfeeding themselves.

I strongly suggest taking this as two people who are confronting something for themselves, and as a chance for yourself to firmly feel and decide that you are doing what's best for you and your baby, and you are really okay with it. Though it smarts now, if you don't see this as anything but a chance to feel more sure in yourself, it will blow over, and most likely in the future they will feel like asses for saying anything. Even if they don't, their thoughts have nothing to do with you and how you should feel and conduct yourself.

Love and hugs to you, mama.

[HarperRose]

Well, I finally talked to her tonight. (Deaths in her family and ours.) I asked her how she was doing w/ her medications for anxiety and panic disorders and she told me she was off them completely now. I asked when she stopped them and she said about 3-4 wks ago or so.

Exactly when she was acting all weird and sent that text to me.

So, after a little more conversation and me asking her about the text, I suspect she KNEW she sent it but I kind of can let it go because I knew she wasn't herself and the our conversation tonight confirmed it. Kind of like a drunk text. You know it's sent, you can't take it back, and you're too spaced out to care.

I am still uncomfortable nursing ds2 in front of her, but I didn't let it stop me.

[Juvysen]

Wow. Interesting twist! Did not expect that one.

Glad you feel like you can still be friends.