venting
today totally kicked my ass. first of all, I haven't gotten much sleep the past two nights, so I was already tired. second, cliff has been working non-stop for two days on moving his hosting to a new location, which is both physical moving and a lot of re-configuration, so I've gotten zero help with the kids or the house. I decided it would be fun to take the girls to breakfast this morning and it was all but a complete disaster, as Amelia cried in the restaurant, which was way too noisy anyway, and then Maddy cried and dragged her feet the whole way home--the hour and a half seven block walk home. Amelia actually fell asleep, woke up and cried, nursed some, went back to sleep, woke up and cried some more, and went back to sleep in the duration of the walk. Then I was just so tired and it seems Amelia never gets a true nap these days so I laid down with her and Maddy was getting into something but I figured whatever it was I could clean it up... I just wanted to nurse Amelia down. Turns out she was spilling permanent enamel paint on the floor, door, and some other stuff, that she had found in my unusable craft room that she had up until now ignored. Luckily it was still wet, but it had to be cleaned up immediately. She also peed all over the floor. I had to move a bunch of heavy stuff that Cliff had piled in there just to get the door closed. Then she went downstairs and pooped on her potty, the one success of the day. From there on out it was pee on the floor, another poop in the pants, another pee on the floor. I keep thinking of just putting her in diapers, and then when I'm about to buy some she turns around and does well so I don't, and then we have days like this again. Huge piles of laundry, Cliff's run out of pants, diaper service didn't bring enough this week, I can't walk in my freaking house with all these projects going on. I finally finished making dinner at around 9pm but by then I'd found other stuff to feed Maddy and I just wasn't hungry and Amelia needed to get to bed. I spent all my nursing time on facebook. I think I'm going to burn myself out on that within the week. And I'm nowhere near finishing knitting the sweater I'd wanted to finish for my birthday tomorrow. I'm not really expecting any fabulous birthday surprises. Cliff will be too tired and worried about our budget and it's probably too wet for a bonfire (anything that we would burn is too wet). So, like most days, I'll be surrounded by crying girls. They're beautiful and I love them but the constant crying from one or the other (mostly Maddy) or both is really getting to me.
All I really want for my birthday is Maddy's room finished so we can put all her stuff in there. This would get the boxes of bed parts out of the hallway and kitchen, most of the toys out of the livingroom, and all her stuff out of the craft room. I'm about ready to hire a babysitter and do it myself.
/end vent
: Happy Birthday Laura!!! 
Happy Birthday Laura!!!!! 
(I say that with respect, and with acknowledgment that I've slacked with my own ideals somewhat, if only from sheer exhaustion.)
:.
: Laura. I hope you are having a better day today. And I say if Cliff doesn't get Maddy's room done today, you SHOULD hire a babysitter so that it just gets done! 
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