PPD anyone?

[Mrs-Mama]

I'm 8 weeks pp, and I think I have PPD. I am having thoughts that no mother should have. My patience is nil; I can't make decisions...even ones that don't matter. I think the holidays are making it worse. The clutter is really getting to me. I'm so embarrassed about this...I feel like I can't talk to anyone in real life. Part of me wants to go back to work just so I don't have to deal with the kids. But, the thought of working outside the home is so overwhelming. Really, I just don't want to do anything. Period. I dread DH leaving to go to work...absolutely dread it and count the minutes until he comes home.

I'm tired of fighting with my toddler over EVERYTHING. Tired of the unnecessary sleep deprivation. Tired of feeling inadequate as a wife and mother. Tired of crying all the time. Tired of pretending that I'm happy and that everything's great. I just want to leave.

DH says I need to find an activity and get away from everything for a few hours. But, being away from DD stresses me out....what if she gets hungry? What if she won't stop crying and needs me? If I'm away from her to long then I have to deal with pumping anyway.

I don't want to feel like this

[coyotemist]

You aren't doing anything wrong. There isn't an easy answer. I tried meds (Wellbutrin nearly dried up my milk) and am now going to counseling.

I had many of the same feelings, but once my hormones normalized much of it eased up. Can you talk to your doctor? There are times that meds are ok, even necessary. Dr. Newman says the safest one is Zoloft.

You might feel better just getting away from the toddler. Go someplace with the baby in a sling and just you. You'll probably feel better once the pressure of Christmas is off, too.

Don't be embarrassed. Many of us have felt the same way!

[BundleFishMama]

Mrs-Mama, I haven't dealt with this personally, but just wanted to offer as I know many friends who have....it's good that you're recognizing this and not ignoring it, since that's the first step to addressing it and not letting it get worse. I hope you get some help and feel better soon so you can enjoy this time with your LOs!

[Aka mommy]

Wanted to offer you hugs first off. i also wanted to let you know that when you go in press your care provider to do a complete panel on your thyroid. I had all the symptoms of severe ppd and it ended up being wrongly diagnosed for a few months, then a new care provider had a panel done and i had an overactive thyroid. I found out that the symptoms mimic ppd.

[natalieadw]

Mama, I could have written your post myself!!! I totally have it, and I had it with my first, so I should have seen it coming I have an appt on the 30th, I am hoping and praying that I can avoid Zoloft this time!! Maybe I should try to get my MW to check my thyroid too, never knew to ask about that! All I can do is send you hugs, and let you know there is someone out there right this minute experiencing the same (even if they are dreadful) feelings that you are, and you are not alone. Feel free to PM me anytime to chat!!! :

[snowgirl]

Mrs. Mama, there is nothing to feel ashamed about and it is completely normal. I had ppd really bad with dd and i didn't get help until she was 4 months old. I went into therapy and it helped me tremendously. I had horrible feelings, like I wanted to throw her out the window or get in the car and drive away from her. I knew I wasn't going to do it though. Not getting any sleep isn't helping you either and can make ppd worse. If you want to talk, pm me and I can give you my phone number. There is a lot more I could write, but don't have the time right now. Did you eat your placenta?

I was very nervous that I would have it this time around and luckily I don't. Somewhat surprised too b/c of my traumatic afterbirth. I encapsulated my placenta and have taken most of the capsules. Not sure if it helped or not. But, glad I took them anyway. Also, I have a very good support system of friends to talk to as well.

[TefferTWH]

nak - i had bad ppd with K, brought on by the BFing pain and sleep deprivation from his reflux. i had a great support system and got tons of exercise (which really does help). i have a touch here and there this time, but nothing like with him! get help, especially with the toddler. mine's a disaster right now too, and i totally understand, as will everyone else.

[coyotemist]

After being housebound for 2 weeks with temps in the teens and 3 feet of snow, I'm definately feeling more than I have been. Maybe I need to go take a dose of fish oil and boost my vitamin D...

Exercise and fresh air do help heeps.

And keep in mind that this too shall pass...every day can be different!