Weekly Thread: Dec 27- Jan 2

[Changed]

: TaraRae- Where are you?! We're thinking of you and hoping you had a nice Holiday.

[Amber Lion]

Hi All!

Hope everyone had a great holiday! Ours was very, very lowkey. Didn't seem like Xmas at all, which is ok. SIL came over and we played Cities & Knights of Catan and ate cookies and drank hot chocolate.

My parents are supposed to come up to visit next weekend, but they've both got viral bronchitis... so we're crossing our fingers they'll be better and able to come! They're both laid out with fevers and my Dad was coughing blood apparently... yuck! So they're obviously not coming if it's still lingering at all (they've already had it for over a week).

Heading into my last week before school starts.. eek! I'm nervous about finding the time for homework, but I'll just have to make it work.

[mamanurse]

If you think your MIL sucks, read about mine...

Sorry about your parents being sick with the yuck Em.

Hi Changed!!! Thanks for starting the new thread

We just got back from the mall and I was able to find an outfit at Nordstrom's using my giftcard with both girls in the dressing room. They were amazing! Hazel slept in the stroller for the first part, woke up in the changing room and had a nurse then went back to sleep in the KKAFP. We also had Indian food at the food court and I sucessfully transferred her to her stroller asleep. We went to Motherhood for a coupla nursing shirts (I hate that place). The grand finale was letting dd run around at the kid's play area for an hour while Hazel slept like a champ. She was so good and came right over when it was time to go. It was truly one of those dream mall experiences.

Our holidays were nice with the exception of my MIL being her normal mentally ill self. We had my parents, sister/BIL, BIL/gf, and MIL over for Xmas eve afternoon/dinner. *Rant Warning*

So when MIL slept through her ride to my house (aka my parents who drive right by her apt to get to my place), she called us and asked dh to pick her up She was too drunk the night before to get up on time: Hubby went and picked her up, leaving our place at noon. He said he'd be back in an hour. She wasn't ready to go because she was still wrapping presents when dh got to her apt So she finally got in his car at 1 and then preceded to ask him to "swing by" the grocery store so she could pick up a pie (she was supposed to bring dessert). Of course, my poor dh said yes.

Well.... She then decided to go shopping for presents. WTF??? Dh was getting pissed. I called him at 2 to see where he was and he told me they were *almost* home. I set out the appetizers. At 2:40 they got in the checkout line and it took until 3 to be rung up and back out to the car. So then what does MIL do you ask... She takes wrapping paper, scissors, and tape out of her bag and starts wrapping presents on the back seat: Dh and her got to our place at 3:45 and I was furious. I refused to even greet the dumb woman and gave dh the stink eye. I'm so sick of him allowing her to manipulate every f'ing situation.

She has the nerve to come in the kitchen and announce she's hungry. I told her all the appetizers had been eaten and she'd have to wait for dinner in a half hour. I heard her complain to my mother who merely said "Well I guess Jenn thought you wouldn't be more than 3 hours late" My mom despises MIL

Meanwhile, my mom is holding Hazel and MIL is commenting on how great of a job my mom did raising Olivia. Dh overhears this and says "Mom!" My mom says that she didn't raise her, just watched her while I was at work. WTF, WTF, WTF???

MIL also decided it would be a good idea to say that Santa wasn't real at the dinner table. It's not that big a deal to me, but dh is real into it and so's my mom After I got up to nurse Hazel, my MIL started bashing Mexicans. My BIL (sister's hubby) is 1/2 Mexican. It was sick. Dh told his mom that hatespeak is not allowed at our table and my sister turned to MIL and thanked her for letting her talk to a "real live bigot" for the first time since moving from rural Washington

MIL got her tail all twisted and said she was being attacked. (I'm still in the other room nursing) Dh got up from the table and demanded she leave and he ended up driving her home.

End of Christmas Eve with MIL and my dd got her Cabbage Patch Kid via dh after dropping his loony mom off. The rest of our night was fun. We played cards and scrabble and had the lousy pie she bought at the store. I REALLY don't want to see her again anytime soon. Poor dh. I can't imagine being raised by a mom like that.
*End of Rant*

[OrchideZ]

Awww Jenn my heart goes out to you.
How utterly inappropriate.

I will come back and post later but have to tend to baby now.

[crosscat]

Glad to hear that Tara Rae and her crew are okay.

Em - I'm sorry your parents are ill. I hope they recover quickly.

Jenn - Sorry you have to deal with such a crappy MIL. She could have her own bad reality show, it sounds like.

I haven't posted in a while. I feel like when I run into someone I haven't seen in a long time and there is so much catching up to do that I feel overwhelmed by it and don't know where to start. In brief, our holidays were pleasant although getting gifts and sending out cards was done very last minute (STRESS). Now I'm glad it's over basically.

I was getting tired of cleaning baby puke out of my long locks, so I'm now sporting a short hairdo for the first time in my life, which I had dyed a dark dark purpley red (like a wine color). OMG short hair is making my life so much easier!

At this time of the year, I always spend a lot of time thinking about resolutions for the coming year. So that's what I'm focusing on now.

I hope to be more active in this week's thread, but I'll go ahead and wish all you mamas a HAPPY NEW YEAR just in case I don't make it back before then.

[Faerieshadow]

Good morning!!!!

Jenn, my jaw is dropping at your MIL's antics. Sounds so much like my ex-MIL, ugh. The woman who (way back almost 6 years ago I'd say) got mad while out with my ex because they were supposed to wait for me to get home from work to go do some stuff, had a temper tantrum in the grocery store, threw her purse in the aisle which exploded everywhere, and then started driving home, had another temper tantrum and almost drove the car into a tree. On purpose. Just because she didn't want me to go with them to wish my (ex) BIL happy birthday. There sure are some screwy people out there...

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. Ours was pretty laid back because the baby was sick. But my grandparents came over Christmas morning to do presents with us, which was nice. My present to DH was his own man cave, turned the garage into Guitar Hero central lol... set up with couch, chair for the drums, hung the guitars on the wall, bought a punching bag and hung it... so the boys spent a good portion of the day playing in there. I got a new digital camera from DH that I'm thrilled about - I had previously been using the one I bought 4 years ago and having such a nice update is wonderful. This is the first time I've caught DS's eye color on camera since he was a baby.

I'm on a bit of a high. Said ex is pretty positive at this point about relinquishing rights to DS. Believe me when I say this is a good thing. It will hurt DS very much now, but in the long run he will be so. much. better. off!!!! And as the ex's antics are the biggest bone of contention in my house, life will become much better for us all in general.

[mamanurse]

Originally Posted by crosscat

I was getting tired of cleaning baby puke out of my long locks, so I'm now sporting a short hairdo for the first time in my life, which I had dyed a dark dark purpley red (like a wine color). OMG short hair is making my life so much easier!

Obligatory pic please. Maybe with Calla in it? Off to check your FB

Originally Posted by Faerieshadow

The woman who (way back almost 6 years ago I'd say) got mad while out with my ex because they were supposed to wait for me to get home from work to go do some stuff, had a temper tantrum in the grocery store, threw her purse in the aisle which exploded everywhere, and then started driving home, had another temper tantrum and almost drove the car into a tree. On purpose. Just because she didn't want me to go with them to wish my (ex) BIL happy birthday. There sure are some screwy people out there....

Actual temper tantrums? Like the kind my 3 year old has on occasion? I'd pay money to see one Mine does something more like breakdowns on a regular occurence. They involve sudden sobbing and irrational statements. Apparently one of those didn't happen until dh was driving her home on Christmas Eve.

Your ds's eyes are rockstar gorgeous

[mamanurse]

I saw your hair in a video on your blog. I'm surprised at how cute it looks first thing in the morning Calla is HUGE and of course so very cute. You're probably tired of hearing people say how big she is. Sorry

[Orionbelt]

Cat: Love the hair. It is such a great haircut.

Jenn: I can't believe your MIL...not a great way to spend Christmas Eve but yay for your DH asking her to leave.

AAM: Traveling for Christmas with three was interesting to say the least. We went to our hometown for three days to visit our parents and it was hectic. It wouldn't be so bad if our parents houses were baby proofed just a little but they are the complete opposite of baby proofed. My Mom's house is so full of knick naks that I was terrified to let the kids run around (her Christmas tree is covered from top to bottom in very fragile crystal ornaments) and DH's parents are uber pack rats so at both houses we constantly had to hover over the older two...not so easy with a baby on the boob all.day.long!

It was nice going home to see the family but it is so nice to be back home again. DH is on duty today (has to be on the ship for 24 hours) so it is just he kids and I...we are having a lazy day in our pj's!

[Amber Lion]

Cat - I noticed the new do!! Like it a lot!! I've been thinking I need to either cut all my hair off or dread it b/c I've got really thick curly hair down to my hips and it's NOT working with little grabby hands. I've always got it up or in a braid and it's ruining my hair and giving me constant headaches.

Jenn - wow, can't believe a grown woman acts that way!! Guess I'm getting a whole new appreciation for my inlaws. Sorry you had to deal with that!

Faerieshadow - hope everything works out with your ex! That must be a hard decision and situation.

Orion - Have a fun pj day!

AAM: I asked Dh to take Addie so I could have some computer time... and now she's in the swing. : I don't know why that irks me so much, she's perfectly content right now, but I want him to have some of the "can't do anything b/c I've got baby" time that I deal with constantly. (Does that make me evil? ) Instead, he's reading his book. And I feel like Addie is better off interacting with her dad than with her mobile. Guess I can't complain too much though, right? I'm getting computer time.

Going out to lunch with Dh's aunt & uncle today - will have to fend off the aunt when she wants to hold Addie so I can eat. Hopefully she'll be in the sling and it won't be an issue. I'm getting more and more protective and less liking other people holding her for some reason. And some random guy at a coffee shop yesterday grabbed her hand and just kept holding on to it. It totally squicked me out and I kept trying to move the sling to get her away from him but he just followed. I know I should have said something, but I didn't and instead dealt with this crazy feeling of panic. Next time I'll definitely say something.

I think I'm having a little Mommy Crisis. Like, I just realized it'll be years and years before Addie doesn't require my constant attention. She is either alseep next to me, on me, or awake on me 24/7 except for the little bits of time she's with Dh. She's a very calm, alert, and content baby but it's still draining. I'm also starting to get the "Oh no, am I doing this right?" feeling I've never had about parenting. Maybe b/c she's getting to the point where it's obvious she's learning and figuring stuff out? Anyways, I've been real stressed out for no apparent reason the past couple of days b/c of this kind of stuff.

[heidirk]

Em- It'll be much less time than you think, asctually. My ds1 was Soooooo high need as a baby, and now, it seems he can take me or leave me.

I wasn't prepared for how much it would hurt for my baby not to need me so much, especially after a year and 1/2 of wishing for just five minutes to myself! And then I go and do it all over again! I keep remindingmyself that this infanthhood thing only latss such a short time, so enjoy it now!

We had a long, pretty good, generally exhausting holiday. I am going to bed now.

[Baby_Cakes]

Hi everyone! Sorry I don't have the brain power to reply to everyone, but I'm reading.

We had a rather drama filled past couple days, so as far as Christmas goes, I'm so glad it's over. FIL threw a fit on Christmas day while we were over, and I shed a few tears. MIL was upset, too. FIL has real anger issues, and I don't think there's been a Christmas for as long as I've known him that he hasn't pissed me off or upset me. But, other than that, my holiday was pretty uneventful.

I'm really struggling with having to go back to work in exactly 1 week. It's not even the work part - it's the leaving Nora part. Even though she's going to be with MIL...something just feels so wrong about going to a job I don't even care about and leaving her w/someone she doesn't really know. Argh, I wish I could just not go back! Unfortunately, that isn't an option, at least not right away. I need to just be strong and push through my fears.

Alright, off to try to get this little princess to sleep. Today she's been off her game and she's still up for some reason. Have a good night, all!

[audsma]

Ah the holidays. They are draining! It's like Garrison Keillor said on A Prairie Home Companion: too much time being too close to people you don't know very well. I've been reading but not had time to respond.

Jen- your MIL's antics are truly amazing. I love how your family handled it. My MIL said several awful things (yes, and she's not even the most bigotted side of my children's family-- wait until we spend time with my brother!) and we just let it pass-- like a terrible smelling fart in the middle of the room no one wants to admit to. So, since we have left passive aggressive central, I applaud your hubby and your sister for the "real live bigot" comment. (Hope the rural WA residents weren't my folks or their friends, but that's likely too.)

Cat- welcome to the world of short haired women. I like the style! I coped with the spitup in my long, long hair, and then cut it when DD was 2-- whatever. Now I'm so glad that the fingers are not yanking on my hair, that I don't have to worry about where my bun is when I try to sleep, and I'm not pulling the swallowed hairs out of diapers as much these days-- ew!

Fairieshadow- here's to an easier life for all of you. All the best as your son works through this transition.

Orionbelt- Babyproofing? Why do parents and in laws do this? I'd forgotten about how terrible my IL's house was (because DD has learned how to be gentle around my MIL's knicknacks after several years of constant, exhausting vigilance on my part) until my cousin's kid came over. I'm never inviting another child to their house again. Glad you all got through unscathed.

Em- I know that in this moment it does seem like it is years and the draining factor is definitely there. It is truly all-consuming the first time around. I also know that that "being needed" part that I ended up needing some huge freedom from, is part of the reason that DS is here at all. When my DD asked for her teacher one night during a nightmare instead of me, it BROKE my heart, and I realized I needed to do something differently-- slow down my career and focus more on her. The best reminder of how fleeting this time is, is to look at another family you don't see often and try to remember that child at various ages. My best memory of a friend's child (I see the friend w/o the kids most often) is at her babyshower for #2. Now #2 is walking and talking and bowling. I know you are cherishing Adelh's time as an infant, and fiercely protecting your high standards of caring for her, so give yourself a little space for some perspective in those moments when it feels draining. And, always know that you are doing this right. Your instincts and standards for raising her are phenomenal.

Carrie- Have you read the children's book The Kissing Hand? Perhaps that's what you need from Nora to take you back to work in the warmth of her love for you. DD and I still do this from time to time. Obviously with an infant you would have to adapt it somehow.

AAM: DD has another week off. We're getting over colds here, so hopefully I'll be able to more actively parent. I wanted to stay snuggled in bed with DS all day yesterday, and mainly did until we went to a movie as a family and then shopping and to dinner. DS has proven to DH now that he can be a good baby (asleep in the Moby) during dinner, so this is our second dinner out as a family in 10 weeks (the first was on Friday night.)

DH is driving me batty-- trying to lose weight by eating the same salad 2 meals a day. I'm going to try adding some of our glorious CSA produce, but still he "needs" cucumbers in his salad. Ugh. It just makes me sad to have to buy them and tomatoes when I have to consume all of the CSA produce myself. I love it-- so fresh and like Christmas morning every week to see what new delights are in the box. Still, I want to share it with someone. Now all the progress we made with DD eating family meals goes right out the window, as daddy doesn't have turnips for dinner, he has salad!

That food issue aside, I think I'll make a lemon meringue pie today. Tee hee. We have the most beatiful Meyer lemons in my fruit bowl right now. We're going on a playdate and the mom loves sweets. DH is diabetic, so I only get to bake when I get to share/give away what I bake.

Enjoy the final days of 2008, mamas!

[mamanurse]

Originally Posted by audsma

Ah the holidays. They are draining! It's like Garrison Keillor said on A Prairie Home Companion: too much time being too close to people you don't know very well. I've been reading but not had time to respond.

Jen- your MIL's antics are truly amazing. I love how your family handled it. My MIL said several awful things (yes, and she's not even the most bigotted side of my children's family-- wait until we spend time with my brother!) and we just let it pass-- like a terrible smelling fart in the middle of the room no one wants to admit to. So, since we have left passive aggressive central, I applaud your hubby and your sister for the "real live bigot" comment. (Hope the rural WA residents weren't my folks or their friends, but that's likely too.)

Carrie- Have you read the children's book The Kissing Hand? Perhaps that's what you need from Nora to take you back to work in the warmth of her love for you. DD and I still do this from time to time. Obviously with an infant you would have to adapt it somehow.

DH is driving me batty-- trying to lose weight by eating the same salad 2 meals a day. I'm going to try adding some of our glorious CSA produce, but still he "needs" cucumbers in his salad. Ugh. It just makes me sad to have to buy them and tomatoes when I have to consume all of the CSA produce myself. I love it-- so fresh and like Christmas morning every week to see what new delights are in the box. Still, I want to share it with someone. Now all the progress we made with DD eating family meals goes right out the window, as daddy doesn't have turnips for dinner, he has salad!

I heart Garrison Keillor. He spoke at my Hubby's graduation and was an absolute riot. I love his politics and enjoy his show. But why the heck does he have to sing???? His voice is AWFUL. Dh always complains about it

My family is Jewish, but we celebrate Christmas for my dh In holidays past, my MIL as had the gawl to make comments about Jews at my parents house. Dh and I had a talk and decided bigotry would not be welcome at our family events. After all, we don't have to invite her over and my parents CERTAINLY don't have to either. She's welcome to have those views and attitude when she's not in our home.

I'm going to have to find that book The Kissing Hand as well. Marley and Me is next on my list to read, but I don't have anything lined up after that.

Your CSA box sounds fun. We did a farmers market box one year and I LOVED it. I got to try out all sorts of new recipes with produce I'd never bought or even heard of before. It's too bad your dh isn't broadening his horizons and setting a good example for dd, but I suppose it is a good thing he's so determined to lose weight.

I've got to go to the grocery store today. Our fridge is so bare right now, that I decided to clean it since almost all the shelves had only one or two items on it I'm also going to take dd to get her haircut. Mine is getting whacked tomorrow while dh watches both girls. He gets a week and a half off paid at Christmas time

3 weeks from today and I go back to work : I could be on maternity leave forever if I wasn't the main breadwinner...

[TaraRae82]

Sorry to have worried you all! We were just SO busy last week! We had family events every evening and then left town and then came back for more family gatherings and a busy weekend with putting gifts away (holy cow, the gifts!). So, I'm back. I feel so blessed that you all thought of me and noticed my absence. I'll try to at least pop in and say we're alive if I have to be gone for an extended time again.

Nothing really new here. I went shopping with my Mom and sis yesterday for about 3 hours and DH stayed with Ally Rae. He's been getting a little better about helping. I'm planning, starting next week, to ask him what 2 days during the week can he be home by 6pm so I can go to the gym and take a class. I've been seeing a counselor with my sis to deal with the divorce and such and she validated that I'm not asking too much for DH to help at least that much.

Ok, that's all for now....off to read and try to catch up while Ally Rae is sleeping in her Moby.

[OrchideZ]

Glad to see you post Tara! I was getting worried. You really should sign up on Facebook. I am enjoying our little Oct.08 group there. We miss ya!

AAM: I had an appt. with my OB since its been so long going and my stitches are still open in the middle. My insurance only covers for 90 home health nurse visits so now my husband will have to do my daily dressing changes.
My doc examined me and then asked, "So its been like 6 weeks?"
I was like," Umm, no...10 1/2 weeks".
He was shocked it still is open and set me up with lots of supplies and I go back again in 2 weeks.
He said I still can't do yoga or baths or major exercise/lifting. *sigh*
On the plus side, I was approved for a disability extension of 8 more weeks of money.
Hopefully, I will heal up soon. Its only open about 1 inch wide and is 1 cm deep now which is much better but its still open and has to be packed and drained daily.
He said they really don't recommend to resuture as they usually don't hold and the underlying problem is still there.
Baby is good. He is drooling a whole bunch and is pretty cranky/clingy and sleeping a ton lately. I wonder if his gums are bothering him or something like that.
He loves reading his books and is very smiley when we go out and about. Today at the doc's, he smiled a bunch and was making friends.
I am super sleepy as we had to get up at 6:45 in order to make it across town for the doc's in rush hour. Gonna feed the babe and hit the hay.

[PassionateWriter]

OrchideZ, I dont post much here anymore but i just read your latest post and just wanted to tell you that the same thing happened to me w/ my first c/s. It was horrible and really icked me out (all the draining...and the nurses weren't the ones doing it...i did it in the shower). it seemed like forever. Im sorry you are going through that but i do agree with your OB....you need to get the stuff OUT and closing it up again would probalby lead to another infection.

I hope it heals soon. It is no fun to have to wait months to exercise, take a batha, and generally do things you would normally do. Just remember though..you just had major abdominal surgery...try to take a bit of time to pamper yourself a bit. You have had it harder than most here (and anyone else who had to have a c/s...natural birth is so much easier).

Just wanted to send you some hugs and btdt. and hope you get better soon.

[Faerieshadow]

Ok, someone send me a link to their facebook account so I can start adding people! Sounds like I'm missing out on some fun. I have an account, I just never use it.

[audsma]

I don't know if this link will work for non-fb people, but here's the group.

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by audsma

Carrie- Have you read the children's book The Kissing Hand?

No, I haven't, but I just read the synopsis on Amazon and I started to cry! That is totally what I need! Thank you so much for recommending it!

Originally Posted by TaraRae82

I've been seeing a counselor with my sis to deal with the divorce and such and she validated that I'm not asking too much for DH to help at least that much.

I'm so glad you saw a counselor and I'm so glad you're asking more of your DH. I totally agree that what you are asking is totally not too much!

Originally Posted by OrchideZ

Its only open about 1 inch wide and is 1 cm deep now which is much better but its still open and has to be packed and drained daily.

I am so saddened that you're still dealing with your incision! It must be horrible, but you are so strong. I hope it heals soon. Huge gentle hugs and love, Mama.

Originally Posted by Faerieshadow

Ok, someone send me a link to their facebook account so I can start adding people! Sounds like I'm missing out on some fun. I have an account, I just never use it.

Have I added you yet? I still have trouble figuring out who is who IRL!

My FB

AAM - So, this is my last day "home alone" with Nora, and I'm using it all to snuggle her and love her to pieces. (Chris is home for the rest of the week, so it won't be the same). Right now she's sleeping soundly next to me on the couch, covered up in a blue snowflake fleece blanket. She's stirring a bit now and then, so I know she's going to wake up soon. I can't wait till she does so we can play until her next nap. :

I was thinking about running out today but I don't think I want to. I think I just want to stay home with her all day. I was going to run to BRU to exchange the bottles my Mom bought us for the right ones, and to get more Medela bottles for my pump for when I return to work next week. I figure I'll need at least 6 bottles altogether, to pump 3 times during the work day. I might get double that just to have them on hand. I'm going to figure out putting the milk in Nora's bottles once I get home, so I just have to keep the milk cold in the fridge during the day.

I'm getting nervous thinking about pumping at work - I hope my supply doesn't diminish, and I hope there's a place for me to pump. Right now, I'm either going to use my boss's office (but she's there 2 days a week) or the conference room (which doesn't lock). I'm thinking about making a simple sign that says, "Pumping in Progress, Please Knock Before Entering" or something like that to put on the door when I'm pumping. I can't believe I'm getting nervous about this, but I am. Any advice?

Is anyone else even going back to work or am I the only one??