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Weekly chat for the New Year! December 27th - January 2nd, 2009! - Page 2

post #21 of 129
Originally Posted by LionTigerBear View Post
I had my first baby when I was 21-- a planned pregnancy, and I was married. (Our honeymoon baby! ) Anyway, everyone thought I was way too young, and it didn't help that I still looked really young-- Just last year I was still getting people telling me they thought I was 14. Now I am turning 26 and I guess my looks are finally catching up with my age-- thank goodness!!!! I'm so sick of people telling me I look too young to have kids.
Same here! I have always appeared young for my age. I really still look like a teenager. People have always told me I'd be thankful for that when I get older, but right now I just get some weird looks when people see that I'm pregnant. I want to tell them I really am old enough to be a mom!
post #22 of 129
I just don't sleep anymore! I get a good 2 hours or so when I first lay down bc I'm so tired I fall deeply asleep - but after that my back and hips hurt so bad and my nose keeps getting stuffed up so I toss and turn and am wide awake wishing it were morning. I actually sit up in bed now around3 every night and just sit bc I have nothing else to do. I might be crazy to think this, but at this point I am actually thinking I might get more sleep with a baby bc I'm thinking at least the 1-2 hours I get at a time will be comfortable sleep. Man I hope my chiropractor is in the office today!!

Wow Allyrae - 2 weeks!! That is so crazy!! It'll be here before you know it. I can't wait to hear the announcement of the birth of your healthy baby girl!

post #23 of 129
OMG Allyrae! I can't believe it. I'm so excited for her arrival!

A big part of the reason we decided to get pregnant when we did was our ages. I'm 27 and Huz will be 30 when Baby arrives, which isn't old at all but I always wanted to be younger with my kids the way my parents were with me. I just think the right time comes for everyone at a different time, which is part of what makes it so interesting!
post #24 of 129
I've been snowed in and haven't left the house since the Wednesday before last. I finally am getting out today to go see the midwife. What a weird sensation to be coming out of hybernation

I went through my baby's things and realized that I have only 4 onesies. That just won't do, so I'll be stopping at a consignment store on my way back. I'm so glad that I live near so many consignment stores.

I'm sooo excited to read birth stories in the January club. It really brings it home that this baby will be coming quickly. I'm already contracting a lot and losing bits of plug. That's normal for me though, but usually it happens a little later. I labor for several weeks and then hop right into transition. I'm wondering if I don't break my bag of water this time how long labor will be and will it be less painful. Hmmm, I wonder if I'm patient enough for that.

As for age. I had a stillbirth at the age of 22 and then had my first son at the age of 23. It was normal where I was (Arkansas), but then I moved to Seattle and became a very young mother for my area. I felt like a child a lot. The only disadvantages of having my son so young were that I got a LOT of unwanted, pushy advice from EVERYONE! Luckily, I had a very supportive husband who helped to reassure me that we were on the right track. I got terrible advice, such as "wean him from the breast by putting dr. pepper in his bottle." "He needs to be circ'ed", "You're not supposed to take him outside." Just crazy stuff that luckily I knew was horrible advice. Now, at 33, nobody gives me advice. Actually, they stopped when I had my 2nd child when I was 25.

Another slight disadvantage was that I wasn't ready financially. I just assumed I'd go right back to work, but my attachment was so strong that I just couldn't. We had awhile of tag-team parenting and being really, really poor before my husband found a job in Seattle. It really sucked being a young mom on medicaid and wic. It was hard to find a decent dr.and I wasn't treated very well. I waited for over an hour each time I went to the dr. Once was 2hrs. I ended up sobbing in the dr's office and they finally saw me. I had to get all my son's vaccines at the health clinic and I had no idea that I had a choice in the matter. But that's more of a readiness/financial issue than an age issue I suppose.

Now that I'm 33, I have so much less energy than at 23. What a trade-off. I'm more ready, but my body is just tired. I'm glad I had my son so young, but wish I had been more empowered.
post #25 of 129
It's cool to see so many of us started "early" here

I agree about the energy/money trade off. I am now 35 and feel like this is definitely my last one - physically it is much harder on me.

I was a single parent with my first and ended up moving back in with my family for a while to go to school. Then I managed to live on my own and go to school and be a parent - with a lot of family babysitting help! But despite being poor it gave me confidence that we would survive and be okay no matter what came our way.

I met dh we have struggled and clawed our way to where we are now - we own our own home and dh has a successful business. I'm lucky to have gotten connections to great part time jobs while working on my MA. We've done all this while having children along the way, whereas most people around here seem to wait until they've gotten "established" and then have them.

Even though we're more "established" now than I ever was when I had the other two - it was difficult to feel like it was a "good time" to have a baby. There are always financial issues, space issues...

Even though I'm glad I had my first baby "young"... I was recently trying to convince a 40 y/o friend that it wasn't "too late" for her to have a baby - we had a big conversation about the pros and cons of starting younger vs. older. There are definitely trade offs on both sides!

I'm so glad the snow is melting here... I've had severe cabin fever!

My MIL arrives tomorrow to stay with us for a while to "help out" which might be nice but might get old... she really wants to be at the birth - but it is really hard for me to say when that could be - there is like a whole month of possibility based on my past births. But I am the type of person who likes to have my space... so we'll see how helpful she is vs. my space needs I guess! It will be nice to have a babysitter for New Years eve although I might not even make it until midnight :yawning:
post #26 of 129
Whew! Just going up my stairs now winds me for a bit. I'm doing my regular monday cleaning and I have to take frequent breaks. I've had several bouts of BH; one the saturday before Christmas was pretty bad and it hurt. So I'm being more careful to rest each day and drink water when Im away from home since thats when I tend to slack. I have an appointment tomorrow.

I kept thinking I have a few weeks before I need to do some things like bake extra meals for my freezer then it hit me today that I could have a baby in three weeks so I'd better start baking. I guess that means I go finish my weekly cleaning and tackle the kitchen.
post #27 of 129
I'm actually happy to say that while we haven't gotten very much ready for the baby at all, we did manage to freeze some meals. But for the last 2 months, 75% of every meal has been a crockpot meal, so we make enough for 2-3 meals, eat 1 and freeze the rest. And we froze part of Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner. It's so nice to know there is food waiting for when DH goes back to work after the baby's here, and it's all allergen free for DD (multiple food allergies) so we don't have to play the "what on earth do we make" game when we're exhausted. LOL!
post #28 of 129
meals are one of the things i have left to do as well as tackle a couple of areas i want to deep clean now or i know it will be like a year before i get to it. i'm motivated though with the post x-mas purge (in MHM) and the nesting urges will keep me going
also wanted to add that i had ds at 22 and now dd at 24- a bit young compared to most of the other moms around here too -i'm hoping people will see ds and assume that i must know what i'm doing. once ds got here i got a lot more smiles and people usually comment on how happy he is- hard to criticize when he's so obviously happy!
post #29 of 129
Mmmm, freezing meals - something I must start to do. I spent so much time baking for Christmas, I haven't focused on much else... thanks for the reminder!

Jenivere - little things are wind-ing me to. I've felt so good the last month, I kinda forget that I'm 8 mo preg, and things might not be as easy as before!

I finally made it to my appt. and all was well. Due to the weather, Doc offered to have his wife come get me on their dog sled if I wanted him to, but I declined! Our road is still washed out, and we discussed the options of me just staying home if I start labor spontanously between 36 and 38 wks (2 wks from now). Any earlier and he'd like me to call the ambulance to meet me and try get there for the baby's sake, any later and than 39 wks and he wants to induce, but more due to issues during my first delivery than the weather. I told him we'd cross that bridge when we get to it. So anyway, he gave me some ideas of things to do and keep on hand if labor starts and moves as quickly as my last (2 hrs total, 38 wks). Now, the more I look into UC, the more I'm thinking we may strive for that, if all continues to go well ... Any recommendations of websites or thoughts on how I might handle this?

It was funny, I read this thread this morning, then sat at the drs office and realized that I was the oldest pregnant lady in the waiting room. I'm only 30, but there were 2 girls (discussing who was watching their baby during prom...) and 2 other women in their early to mid 20's (by my guess). I had my first at 25, 2nd at 27 and amongst my friends, I've always been way younger than everyone else. Our friends here are all a few years older than me and we have kids about the same ages. My friends from college and highschool are mostly all just getting married and starting to think about kids. So I guess I've now felt old and young! All I can tell is that this last pregnancy has been the hardest physically, and I'm a little leary of what another one a few years down the line might do to me.
post #30 of 129
I was 21 when my first was born, 22 for my second, 25 for my third and I will be 28 for this baby's birth. They are two years, two and a half years and two and half years apart.

I have some ham left from Christmas so today I'll get that carved up and put into my freezer. I think I'll make meatloaf either tonight or tomorrow and make like four of them so I can freeze three. That will give me a good start at least.
post #31 of 129
Man, what a day! Good day,that is. I went to the midwife and she had a home-birth kit that someone didn't use and I bought it instead of having to buy online. So, I'm feeling much more excited for the homebirth. Then, I went to the consignment store and got a swing for 12 dollars! Plus, they had tons of onesies for about a dollar each. I got some cute outfits, a swing and some onesies. I'm washing all the stuff now. I love to lay it all out and see what I have. The problem is that all the stuff is downstairs in our spare room. I have no idea how this stuff is ever going to fit upstairs! There's nowhere to put his clothes, so I'll have to get one of those 3 drawer plastic bins or something.

There was a woman having a baby at the birthing center when I went this morning. She was screaming and moaning when I got there at 12:30. Then, when I left at around 1:15, she was walking around hugging visitors and getting ready to go home.LOL I felt all emotional when I heard her moaning. It's just so awesome. Did I mention that I can't wait to have this baby?
post #32 of 129
I was just 24 when I had my ds and I will be almost 27 when I have this baby. They are 2 years and 10 months apart. I always wanted to start "early". I finished school, got married and got preggo in the span of 3 months. DH was still in school but got a job when ds was a couple months old. He was supposed to take 2 more years because he couldn't find anything but got offered a job and it has been 3 years of nothing but advancement and promotions. Really having our first child set us on a path to success we might not otherwise be on.
In my prenatal class for my 1st I was the youngest by almost 10 years all having our 1st. It was interesting that's for sure.

I can't wait to be done work. I'm kind of sore and achey but other than that I am finally feeling better (fingers crossed).
We are having fondue for New Years so after that I will start making and freezing meals. I have a few soups done but that's it.
post #33 of 129
I was 37 when my first child was born. I'll be 40 in a little over two weeks. This is our second -- and will be our last -- child.

We didn't choose to wait quite so long to start our family -- it took us years to get pregnant the first time (but only took a month and a half this time! ), but I admit I'm glad it worked out that we had to wait. I don't think I'd have been nearly as good a mother when I was younger. That's nothing against younger moms at all -- it's just me knowing who I was back then. And knowing who I am now. Back then I wasn't diligent about researching choices for myself much less a child, or understanding consequences fully, or my impact on the environment and others, or how choices I make can have lifelong effects, and so on. I was very immature (and selfish and fairly irresponsible) in my 20s. If 20-something-year-old me offered to babysit my child now, I'd politely decline.

But I've known some mamas who were much younger than I am, who are magnificent parents. And I've known some my own age or older, who are craptastic, truth be told. Age has little to do with it. Maturity is far more key, I think. And I simply wasn't ready back then. I'm glad fate worked out so we had to wait. ETA: But I have to wonder, had things worked out differently, would I have matured a lot faster? I don't know. I know becoming a parent is a big impetus for growing up fast. I'd like to think I wouldn't have been such a terrible mother back then, but who knows.

Though I have to admit that physically it's much harder this pregnancy than the prior one -- not so much because I'm older I think (because I was in great shape before I got pregnant -- very active, big into yoga, ate very healthy/organic, etc.) but because I have a two year old who doesn't nap. That has made a HUGE difference, honestly. First pregnancy I could nap whenever I wasn't working, and I quit work early on. I could listen to my body and rest when I needed and that was wonderful. This time I am getting by on around 6-ish hours of sleep at night total, if that, while waking every 2 hours to pee, typically. So it's interrupted sleep. And naps are a rarity. So that's made it much harder. I cannot imagine having more than one toddler to deal with right now. Those of you with more than one already are superheroes. Seriously.
post #34 of 129
Had a midwife appointment today...looks good...baby is back to back with me (big surprise ) and is really far down in my pelvis which is GREAT news! I ordered a new car seat and a new stroller (to contain the 2 year old when baby is in the sling) with our christmas money!

On the young mom front I was 19 when my eldest was born and in many, many ways I am really glad that I was a young mom with her. I was so much more sure of my choices for her, I didn't second guess every little thing or over research. I tend to way over research now...and second guess everything! My younger two are way more neurotic than my oldest and I am convinced its because I am so much more neurotic now! I just didn't worry about making the wrong choice as much then (though most of that comes from doing EC intervention, you see all the kids who need help or have been abused). I still managed to mostly stay home with her or had jobs where she came with me. I bought a house when I was 23 and we have lived here for ten years! My second I was 28 and then 31 now I'm 33 and I am done, done, done having kids! I have a feeling I will be a grandmother in my early 40's and I am good with that even though the "little kids" will still be pretty young...
post #35 of 129
My mom and I had a conversation today about the age when becoming a mother and how she knew when she was definitely done having children. My mom is a very devout Catholic and they always used natural family planning as their form of birth control. She had her first when she was 18 and had 5 kids by the time she was 28. I came along six years later when she was 34. She said she felt like she was done, done, done after her fifth... but something kept her from doing anything permanent. It was a struggle for her to "take care of it" because of her religious beliefs. Plus, she wasn't even 30 yet and felt like she was too young to do anything permanent. But when she was carrying me, she had a 16 year old who was very difficult and was taking care of 5 children while carrying another. She said her body was just done doing that and she got her 'tubes tied' after I was born. I found the conversation interesting... she wanted me to have a baby two years ago (I got married young... 19 years old).

On another note, I'm feeling VERY pregnant right now. I went shopping with my mom and had 3 BH within 15 minutes or so. I wore not very supportive shoes thinking we wouldn't be gone that long, but have been getting bad leg cramps ever since so I'm regretting that. Ever since I got home, she has been all over the place in the most uncomfortable positions... lots of pressure on my pelvis one minute and the next it's like she's trying to come out through my belly button. I'm almost 32 weeks and this being my first pregnancy, I don't really know how it's "supposed" to feel, but I'm feeling much further along! On days like this, I'm really ready to not be pregnant anymore.
post #36 of 129
I had an OB appointment today. I went ahead and did the GBS test. I'll know the results next week. I'm now onto once a week appointments. Holy Cow! All was well at the appointment. I've gained 4 pounds in the last 2 weeks though! YIKES! I blame Christmas.

AllyRae: I can't believe your girl will be here so soon! How exciting! :

I'm 32 and having my first. It has taken us years to conceive so we thought this would happen much sooner but now is great too! I just hope that next time it isn't so difficult. I think having already done all the tests and trials with medications and doses should eliminate a lot of time next time around. We'll see. I also know of people who conceived naturally with their second child. It's not that I worry about how old I'll be but more that I don't want to have my kids spaced way apart.
post #37 of 129
So far 4 babies have been born from my birth class (2 in the past 2 days). I'm trying not to get too excited about it since I have the furthest out due date, but one couple just had theirs 15 days early. It still feels like I started birth class last week - can't believe it's over and half the class has delivered.

We sold the bed in our 2nd bedroom last night and today it will be moved out. Yay! That means I can have DH set up the crib and arrange furniture this week.

I went to the chiro yesterday. I was sooo achey and my hips hurt so bad at night. I slept so awesome last night! I woke up 3 times to pee but fell right back asleep every time. Ahhhhhh. Chiro care is nothing short of a miracle to me!

post #38 of 129

People with cats??

This isn't necessarily pregnancy related, but maybe someone will be able to help me out with this. We have some friends in town visiting over the holidays. They'll be here until this weekend. Whenever they come to visit for this long, they bring their cat. They mostly stay at his parents house and his mom is allergic to cats, so we usually keep their cat here for them. We already have two cats, so it's not usually a big deal. Last night, they asked us if we would mind keeping the cat until my baby shower (January 18), because they are going on vacation after they leave here and will be back that weekend for the shower. I said it should be fine as long as they can help us out by getting some food or litter. Well, we went to bed last night and one of the cats peed on our mattress. It is a HUGE spot. The entire room reeks of cat urine. Their cat immediately came in there and laid down right next to the urine stained spot, which makes me think he's the one that did it. It easily could have been one of our cats. We have one that is tempermental, and has a tendency to pee in random places when she's upset about something. She's been on edge lately with this other cat in the house. Either way, if their cat wasn't here the urine on our mattress wouldn't have happened. So, we decided not to keep the cat here that long and he'll be going home with them this weekend.

My question is how in the world do I get cat urine out of my mattress?? It REEKS! We immediately took off the sheet and the mattress cover and put them in the washing machine, but it soaked through and is soaked into the mattress. We had an issue with our other cat and the carpet, but we had intended to pull up that carpet anyway, so that's what we did and haven't had a problem with her peeing on the floor since then. I really don't want to have to replace the mattress, it's only a couple years old and it's a very nice mattress that we spent quite a bit on. It's pillow top, so we can't flip it over. Plus, I really don't want to put a baby in a bed with us that has cat urine soaked into it. Is there anything that will remove this from the mattress???
post #39 of 129
Re: the cat urine. I'm sorry to say this but in my experience it is absolutely ruined. Nothing will get the odor out all the way and completely-- nothing. Especially now that you will be having kids, you should get used to ALWAYS having your mattress covered in something waterproof-- otherwise I would consider it potentially disposable. We have been through two mattresses already, from accidents that happened when the mattress was not properly protected. Thank goodness ours were cheap mattresses. A mattress protector goes a long way in saving you money.
post #40 of 129
While cat urine is particularly tough to get out, I don't think it is necessarily ruined. I would give it a good dousing in Febreeze - it's supposed to remove pet odors. I had a cat when I was young that peed on my bed whenever she was mad and my mattress wasn't ruined. But now that I think about it, I might have still had a plastic cover on my mattress? I'm not sure. I would try the febreeze, maybe some baking soda on top once it's dry and then put a plastic cover on top to prevent the cats from smelling it - you need the plastic cover now anyway in case your water breaks and for later when you leak breast milk or baby is in your bed and diaper leaks. Sorry you are dealing with this - such a pain!

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