7 year old boy ... suddenly grown up

[bits and bobs]

My 7 year old DS is grown up, literally over night. Talking back. Obstructive. Attitude. It's freaked me out. He was still a little boy a few weeks ago, but suddenly he doesn't want any physical contact, wants to be dropped off by me at the school not walked into class...things like this.

Help me through this 'loss', while finding ways to celebrate his growing independence. I feel so sad I guess.

[LauraN]

Mine did the same! He hasn't quite turned 7 yet (he will in Feb) but overnight he moved into his own bedroom at night and wants to do all sorts of grown-up things, even his play and talk with his friends has changed and is suddenly more mature.

I remember when I was growing up, every time I moved to a new stage of maturity my dad would act all sad and tell me that I was making *him* old. Which consequently made me feel terribly guilty and made me want to hide my new maturity. It ended up with me sobbing when I got my period because I was definitely going to kill my dad with that.

Which is not what I think you're doing! But it's why I try to greet each new stage wil joy and excitement and tell him how proud I am of his new accomplishments.

ETA: We've got new attitude along with it, too. Every new stage comes with boundary testing, doesn't it?!

I don't accept that new maturity must come with new attitude, though, so every time something ugly comes out of his mouth I remind him that he must speak respectfully and re-state what he said in an acceptable way.

Example...

MOM: DS, get your shoes on, it's time to go.
DS: Fine (in voice dripping with attitude).
MOM: DS, you must speak nicely to me. You can say, "OK, Mom, I'll be there in just a minute!"
DS: Fine (still attitude).
MOM: You mean, Yes, Mom! (and then, move on.)

[bits and bobs]

Laura, thank you for your post. Thanks for the reminder to be happy for him-I want to sob in a corner but for him it's so exciting to be that bit more a big kid.

[Jenelle]

It may seem as though he has grown up overnight, but from my experience, it kind of comes and goes. Just try to follow his cues.

[mommy68]

My DD did this last year when in kindergarten. She suddenly didn't want me to embarrass her in front of the other children. She is homeschooled now but still does it occasionally. It can be cute but sometimes annoying.

[mama_mojo]

DS did this, but it seemed like a beautiful thing; he suddenly seemed much more like the easy going, yet intense, baby I met so many years before. He still is a bit of a whirlwind, but that quiet ease I thought was essentially him that had been missing since about the time he turned two came back strong like the day he turned 7. I cannot wait to see if my DD1's sweetness also comes back as she turns 7...